It Could Have Been You
by CoffeeLover67
Summary: After Ian, Jane helps Maura pick up the pieces and discovers a few things about herself in the process. A beautiful ADA named Lisa enters the picture and things get interesting. The story starts in Season 2 at the end of My Own Worst Enemy.  Eventual Rizzles.
1. Chapter 1

Title: It Could Have Been You

Setting: Season 2 Episode 8

**Disclaimer**: Well, I know this must come as a shock to all of you but I don't own Rizzoli and Isles. That pleasure belongs to Tess Gerritsen and the folks at TNT. I think she is pretty cool, though, letting all of us write about them as long as it's not for profit. I do wish, however, that Tess and Janet Tamaro would read some of the wonderful stories on this site and take notice that the fans crave more substance between Jane and Maura. Too many things are left unsaid and too many issues are not dealt with appropriately. So, in my little world, this is my way of dealing with some of those lingering issues…..

**A/N**: There are some incredible and talented writers on this site and I'm in awe each time I come across one of their stories. They have inspired me to do something that I've always wanted to do but never took the time until now. The start of this story takes place at the end of My Own Worst Enemy. I don't know about the rest of you but I was pretty angry about that episode and how Maura acted towards Jane. So, my story begins there and will be entwined with the two remaining episodes before its fall hiatus. Also, certain parts of the story will have a song attached to it. The song will coincide with some of the issues and emotions addressed in that part. For me, music can illicit strong emotions and helps me visualize a particular scene. There will be drama and angst in this story but I promise at the end, our two favorite girls will find each other as they belong together…they just don't know it yet. So, if you are so inclined, sit back, relax with a nice glass of wine or your favorite beer as the songs to the chapters play quietly in the back ground and enjoy! I would very much appreciate reviews….

**Chapter 1: Hiding My Heart (Adele)**

The love of her life. Such a simple statement but it had all the power to destroy Jane inside. That declaration by Doctor Maura Isles thrust into Jane's core, sending searing heat coursing through her body and flaming daggers into her heart. The love of her life…..Doctor Ian. Doctor Ian from Africa. Doctor Ian with three different passports and last names. Wanted by Interpol for questioning. The same man that Maura Isles committed a crime for by harboring him, a fugitive, and helping him obtain drugs and supplies illegally. Yes, Doctor Ian, the man that Maura had never even mentioned to her….ever, yet was so important to Maura that he held the most sacred place in Maura's heart. The love of her life…..

Maura was sitting at a stool at the kitchen counter crying, revealing her feelings for Doctor Ian for the first time to Jane. Jane listened intently, watched Maura cry and utterly break-down over the doctor from Africa. Jane felt for Maura and loathed to see her sad and crying. She wanted to comfort Maura, she was trying to anyway. But Jane was expending a lot of emotional energy inside, doing her best to portray her Detective Rizzoli poker face and not let her real feelings show.

"I just… I can't….I can't talk about him….I can't…. with anybody…because it makes me so sad." Maura attempted to explain, while fighting back the tears. Why had she never mentioned such an important piece of information to Jane? "I mean… how can you love someone and not be able to be with them?"

"How indeed Maura?" Jane screamed out inside her head. How can you love someone, be in love with someone and know that you will never be able to be with them the way you long for and dream about? Someone that you see every day, someone that you doubt will ever share or return the feelings you have for them. Someone that you have to watch time and time again be with men, fall in and out of relationships with them, and share with them something that you want so very badly but have to cope with the fact that it will never happen.

"Well, why can't you be with him?" Jane tried to keep her face neutral, the tone of her voice detached yet she came up short. This conversation was killing her inside but Jane pushed on and tried her damndest to play the part of Maura's best friend.

"Because he went back to Africa," Maura said with a defeated tone.

"Well, you could go to Africa?" What? It came out of Jane's mouth before she had a chance to think about what she had just said. It sounded as if someone else had made that statement. Go to Africa? Oh God no! Going to Africa meant saying goodbye to Maura, most likely forever. Maura going to Africa meant no best friend, no more seeing her on a daily basis. As much as it hurt Jane to suppress her feelings of romantic love for Maura, it would absolutely devastate her to no longer be a part of Maura's life, even if it meant being just friends with her. No, going to Africa was a very bad idea…..

Maura sighed and lowered her head to the right but did not give Jane an answer as to why she couldn't go to Africa. It was clear from Maura's body language, however, that Maura was not planning on going down that path. Jane didn't understand why not but was thankful that it didn't seem to be a possibility.

"His crime is risking his life to bring drugs and basic supplies to places that nobody cares about…and I helped him...so….go ahead and arrest me." Maura stated flatly.

Jane gave a weak smile at her friend's confession. Arrest Maura? No, Jane didn't think so. Maura could confess to being a serial killer to Jane…what would Jane do?…..help her hide the bodies and make sure that no one could ever pin them on her friend. There was nothing that Jane wouldn't do for her best friend…absolutely nothing. Arresting her, however, was not in the realm of possibilities. Jane did disagree with Maura that Doctor Ian's only crime was helping third world people that nobody else cared about. In Jane's eyes, his worst crime was not returning the obviously overwhelming love for Maura that Maura had for him. His crime was dashing in and out of Maura's life, apparently whenever he damn well felt like it, and leaving her behind completely devastated. His crime was him not choosing Maura over anything else in the world! The good doctor from Africa might be a swell enough guy, even a martyr for what he was doing to help others but to Jane he was a selfish bastard that did not deserve Maura's love and affection. Jane also couldn't help but think that the good Doctor Ian had used Maura to obtain his needed drugs and supplies and then skedaddled. Yep, that was it. Ian flew into town, had a romp in the sheets with the woman Jane loved, used Maura to get what he needed, and then boom….see ya, bye sweetheart…thanks for the fun….until next time that I come around and destroy your world in short order….. Jane was seething as the thoughts of the good doctor ran through her head.

Jane needed an outlet, needed to break the tension in her somehow before she exploded inside and confessed all the feelings coursing through her veins. Shock, hurt, betrayal, anger, was swirling around inside Jane, mixing potently with the overwhelming love she had for Maura. She looked away from Maura and glanced up at the kitchen cabinets and absently read some of the new labeling displayed, courtesy of her mother. That woman is going to be the death of me, Jane thought to herself. "Well, the first person I am going to arrest is my mother for reorganizing your kitchen." Jane smiled slightly with her eyes but it failed to reach her mouth.

She turned back to Maura and asked her if she wanted to go to the airport. Please say no, Jane prayed to herself. Thankfully, Maura shook her head no but did want Jane to stay with her until she felt better. Jane was thankful that Maura wanted her to stay. She didn't think it was a good idea for Maura to be by herself right now and frankly Jane was exhausted. She rubbed her face with her hands. It had been a very bad day and the night was not ending well either. First, she had to shoot and kill someone….again; she got into a fight with someone who wanted to kill her…again. Not to mention that her toe was still throbbing loudly, especially after the third world surgical procedure the good doctor Ian performed on it in Maura's kitchen. Now to top it all off was the wonderful declaration by Maura of her feelings for Ian. Yep, today was up near the top of her list of really bad days.

~~~~~~~~()~~~~~~~~~~~

**You Do What You Have To Do (Sarah McLachlan)**

Jane opened one eye and scanned the room to get her whereabouts. Her body felt heavy and her mind was a thick fog. It was early morning, probably about 7:00 am Jane guessed. She scanned her memories to discern what day of the week it was….Saturday she recalled. She groaned inside wondering why her body felt it necessary to wake up so early on an off day. She moved her legs slightly and realized that she was sore. Confused, she tried to recall why her body felt as if she had been tackled by the entire defensive line of the New England Patriots. A memory of her fight yesterday with the Bruce Lee wannabe replayed in her head. Oh yeah…that's why. She slowly opened the other eye and took in the remaining of her surroundings…. Maura's spare bedroom? She then realized that she couldn't feel her left arm. She hated when one of her long limbs decided to go to sleep and the tingling sensation that would follow when she tried to get the blood flowing through it again. She slowly moved her head to the left to look at her arm and realized that it was covered by honey blonde hair. Well, no wonder it's asleep, she thought to herself. She looked at Maura whose face was turned toward Jane but was partially covered by hair flowing in all different directions. Her eyes slid to Maura's chest as she watched it rise and fall with every shallow breath. She looked so peaceful and utterly beautiful, even though her face and eyelids were puffy from all of the sobbing she did last night. Jane recalled how she had held Maura tight in her arms as Maura's body wreaked with sobs. She remembered stroking Maura's hair over and over, whispering to her that she was going to be okay. After quite awhile, she felt Maura's body start to relax and twitch uncontrollably as she drifted off into a deep sleep. Unfortunately, sleep danced around Jane as her mind would not cease its torturous replays of the day. At some point in the night, Jane's body won the epic battle with the mind for rest and she finally fell asleep.

Jane's musings from the night before returned as she lay there watching Maura sleep. She couldn't help but to realize that things were going to be different between them now. She also knew that Maura would be at a complete loss as to why things changed. She wrestled with herself wondering if she should just go ahead and let Maura know how she felt. If she confessed that she was in love with Maura, what would happen? Jane thought that there were two possible outcomes to this revelation. One, Maura would tell Jane that she was flattered but she of course did not feel that way about her. Maura would have no problems with letting it go and remaining best friends. However, Jane would not be able to get past the rejection she felt and she would avoid contact with the medical examiner at all costs, effectively ending their friendship and removing Maura from her life. Two, Maura could return Jane's feelings to a certain extent because of how much she cares for her. But after awhile, Maura would start to realize she made a mistake and end their romantic relationship but would still wish to remainclose friends, which again Jane would be unable to do and Maura would be out of her life. Sighing, Jane took her right hand and rubbed up and down her face in an attempt to erase all of her thoughts. How in the world did she get here? How did she let this happen? How did she let herself fall in love with anyone, much less her best friend for God's sake? You just can't ever make things easy on yourself, can you Rizzoli?

Damn Ian, she thought. At least before finding out about him and the fact that he was the love of Maura's life, Jane had hope. It was the proverbial Pandora's Box. As long as the box remained closed, hope remained. Open the box, curious about its contents, and everything bad escapes. Unlike the Greek myth, however, hopelessness did escape Jane's box and her hope was lost forever. As much as she had dreamt about it, there was never going to be a happy, healthy, committed long term romantic relationship between her and Maura. So now what? Should she still end her friendship with Maura to avoid the pain she would feel when Maura finally settled down with Ian? If she chose to end her friendship with Maura, she knew it would mean that she would have to ask for a transfer to another precinct and division. She couldn't be in the same building with Maura everyday and not be tempted to see her and make a fool out of herself. This meant, of course, she would have to leave Korsak and Frost too.

She didn't think she had the strength to completely walk away from Maura, even with knowing it would cost her an enormous amount of pain down the road. She needed, required Maura to be in her life like she required oxygen to breath. No, she would remain friends with Maura but she had to protect herself somehow. She had to find a way to filter out her romantic feelings for Maura so that only friendship remained….but how? How do you let go of unrequited love…is it even possible…..or do you just resign yourself to endless suffering? If she somehow managed to infinitely repress her feelings for Maura, what did that mean for her and future prospective wooers? Would Jane go on dates with other people knowing that the likelihood of making a commitment to someone other than Maura would be slim at best? Wouldn't it be unfair to the other person to get involved with them knowing that they will never possess her entire heart and soul?

Frustrated, Jane decided to get up but didn't want to wake Maura from her slumber. She hoped that she could gather her things and leave before Maura woke up. She slowly eased her arm out from underneath Maura's head and stealthily rose up and out of the bed without disturbing her. She gingerly shook her arm to get the circulation running back through it again. She went into the bathroom, replaced her sweats with a pair of jeans and put on a t-shirt over her tank top. She always kept a few spare clothes over at Maura's place in case she ended up spending the night. She knew that would have to change now. She returned to the bedroom and quietly put her shoes on. She grabbed her gun and badge and placed them on her belt. As she went to walk out of the bedroom, she turned and risked one last glance back at Maura. She knew that once she stepped out of the door, everything would be different. She would never again allow herself to get so close to Maura. "I love you," Jane whispered softly…"always will." With that, Jane walked out of the bedroom, grabbed her car keys and left. At the sound of the bedroom door closing, Maura opened her eyes but did not move.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Where I stood (Missy Higgins)**

**_Six Months later…_**

Jane retrieved her phone from her hip when she felt it buzz. She glanced at the caller ID…Lisa. A smile stretched across her face as she answered, "Hey you", she said with much excitement in her voice.

"Hey sexy, you gonna get off of work on time today?" Lisa questioned over the phone. Jane grinned from ear to ear at the sound of Lisa's sultry voice and her chosen term of endearment.

"Well, barring the proverbial last minute call of another crazed killer making his rounds in the city or the arrival of the zombie apocalypse, the answer is yes," Jane said with a laugh in her voice as she flipped through the many files on her desk looking for one in particular. She heard Lisa's sexy laugh in her ear which prompted a tingling that started at the back of her neck and slide all the way down her spine.

"Well then, short of the arrival of a new crazed killer or the zombie apocalypse, may I assume that we will be spending the evening together?" Lisa said with an expectant tone to her voice.

"Absolutely, I am looking forward to it," Jane responded. As Jane continued to talk to Lisa, she overheard parts of the conversation going on between Frost and Korsak. Korsak was explaining to Frost that Jane was talking to Lisa, Jane's new….shall we say….person of interest. Jane had not had a chance to tell Frost about the new development in her personal life. Not that she was accustomed to doing so or in any way obligated to tell anyone, but she had already confided in Korsak about Lisa and didn't want Frost to feel left out. Anyway, it seemed that Korsak was currently handling that detail for her. She and Lisa had been dating for a little over a month so far and she was just now getting around to telling her co-workers and family. Actually, she hadn't told her family yet but she planned to…soon. It's not that Jane had anything to hide or was concerned about others' reactions or the rumor mill. She was a confident person and didn't concern herself with what other people thought or said about her. She just simply hadn't had the time. Also, she was naturally a private person and was not comfortable with everyone knowing her business because it was none of their business. She figured, however, that since it seemed that she and Lisa were going to be spending a lot of time together and Lisa was going to be around for awhile, she wanted folks to hear it from her and not through some other source.

"Lisa?" Frost questioned Korsak and Korsak nodded in the affirmative and raised his eyebrows high up into his forehead. A silent conversation was going on between Frost and Korsak with their eyes and facial expressions. Korsak urging and then waiting for Frost to understand which Lisa he was referring to. Suddenly, a look of understanding washed over Frost's face. "Oh! It's _that _Lisa? As in the new Assistant District Attorney Lisa? As in every guy in the Boston PD and the District Attorney's Office would kill for a date with Lisa? As in hot, gorgeous, with the nice as-….….." he stopped short when he saw Jane glaring at him and warning him with her eyes that he better not finish that statement. Frost sheepishly looked away and had a sudden urge to clear his throat. "Wow! I would've never guessed, I thought Lisa was straight," Frost said to Korsak.

"So is spaghetti until you heat it up," Korsak deadpanned. Jane overheard Korsak's comment, rolled her eyes and mouthed out "Really?" Frost shook his head and laughed. Korsak got tickled with his own joke as he returned the laugh. Of course it was that very moment that Chief Medical Examiner Doctor Maura Isles chose to enter the bullpen.

"Hey, what's so funny?" Maura asked. At Maura's question, Frost turned around in his chair and suddenly became overly interested in his computer, using his mouse to randomly click from one window to the next in the hope that he looked too focused in his work to respond. Korsak cleared his throat, mumbled something about he needed more caffeine, and exited the bullpen stage right. Maura stood there in the middle of the bullpen wondering what inside joke she had just missed. She then realized that Jane was on the phone and she could tell by Jane's tone of voice and mannerisms that she was talking to Lisa. Maura felt a sudden wave of un-comfortableness flow through her as she stood there awkwardly. Part of her wondered if she should politely walk away and give Jane some privacy. Another part of her, however, the part she didn't like to acknowledge, wanted to listen in on the conversation so it would provide fuel for her ever increasing levels of jealousy and anxiety over being 'replaced'. She vividly recalled the night two weeks ago when Jane told her about Lisa….

_Friday night in Boston….Maura and Jane were sitting at their normal table at the dirty robber. Jane was tossing back a beer quicker than normal and Maura was sipping on a quality pinot noir. Silent moments passed between them as Jane was peeling the label off of her beer bottle. Usually these moments were comfortable, even welcoming at times. But something seemed off with Jane, something Maura couldn't quite figure out. There was a strange tension in the air between them. Maura was keenly aware that Jane was becoming increasingly distant towards her. Over the last few months, the dynamics of their friendship had changed considerably. It wasn't a change that happened over night. The changes were gradual, more subtle, so much so that someone on the outside looking in might not even notice them. But Maura noticed. Any time that Maura tried to talk to Jane about the changes in their friendship, Jane would either dodge the subject or remember that she needed to be somewhere else and just leave. Maura was becoming distraught over how Jane was acting. She opted to give Jane the space she needed in hopes that it was just a phase, a bump in the road of their friendship, but it was becoming harder and harder to pretend that the distance between them did not bother her. _

_"Maura, I have something to tell you," Jane finally spoke. Her voice was huskier than usual. _

_"Sounds serious, are you okay?" Maura questioned with a small smile in hopes it would lighten the mood. She had no idea what to expect and that unnerved her._

_"Yes on both accounts. Yes it's serious and yes I am okay," Jane answered back with a slight smile of her own._

_"Oh…well, okay," Maura's smile faded as she unconsciously held her breath. "Go ahead then."_

_"I have started dating someone," Jane bluntly revealed. _

_Well now, that was not as bad as Maura thought. Jane never dated anyone for more than…well, a date. She would inevitably find this or that wrong with the guy and would send him on his merry way. Maura breathed a sigh of relief, she really thought this was going to be something bad like Jane didn't want to be best friends anymore or something. No, this was not bad at all. _

_"Really? So tell me everything, who is he?" Maura finally asked._

_"Her," Jane corrected._

_"Excuse me?" Maura didn't understand._

_"Who is her"… damn nerves…."I mean she….who is SHE." Jane clumsily corrected Maura's question closing her eyes in frustration with herself._

_"Wait a minute! It's a WOMAN? You're seeing….as in… dating…. a woman?" Maura barely choked it out._

_"Boy, nothing gets past you," Jane replied sarcastically with a smile, "but yes, I am dating a woman."_

_"How? I mean….I had no idea you were….Maura grabbed her wine glass and gulped down what was left in the glass and swiftly ordered another. Jane ordered another beer as well. _

_"I didn't either until recently," Jane explained. It was the truth. She had only come to terms with all of it when she went through her soul searching sessions over the last few months after the whole Doctor Ian thing. It had been quite a revelation to her as well so she could only imagine the shock her best friend must feel. _

_"How recently?" Maura hoped to pin Jane down on a better time frame in hopes that it would reveal some of Jane's behavioral changes._

_"Recently," Jane stated again. It was the only answer Maura Isles was going to get from her right now. _

_"Well, may I ask who she is? Do I know her?" Maura was genuinely curious._

_"Yes, and kinda," Jane paused. "Her name is Lisa Kennedy."_

_"Lisa Kennedy? The Assistant District Attorney that just tried your Merch case?" Maura's eyebrows shot up into her forehead._

_ "The very same," Jane said smiling widely as she took a sip of her newly arrived beer. _

_ Maura knew the case well. It was the case that she and Jane had gone undercover in the lesbian bar to try to find the killer. It was also the time she caught Jane staring blatantly at her cleavage, but the prior conversation they had that night in Jane's bedroom confirmed to Maura that Jane was straight. That's why Maura had told Jane that she wasn't her type. Jane seemed to take offense to that but Maura was never able to find out why. Although Maura had never had a relationship with a woman, she had always found Jane to be very attractive. Maura was not only attracted to Jane's physical attributes, she was indeed a fine homo sapien specimen, but she was also quite attracted to Jane's intellectual abilities. Maura was often surprised by just how incredibly intelligent Jane truly was. Jane was an excellent strategist, decision maker and problem solver, yet she was also passionate and compassionate. A perfect balance between logic and emotion Maura thought. Maura had met Lisa Kennedy briefly during the trial. She had actually been deposed by Lisa Kennedy's co-counsel on the case and was also questioned on the stand by the same, so Maura had very little interaction with the ADA. Jane, however, had spent countless evening hours with Lisa during trial prep and even a part of a Saturday right before the trial began. This took away time that she would have liked to spend with Jane but she thought it had been all in the name of seeing justice through. Now, Maura thought that it was all in the name of Lisa wanting to get her claws into Jane. It was at that moment Maura decided that she did not like the new ADA. _

_Maura's silence lingered…_

_"So, whatda think?" Jane waited for a response._

_"Um, well, she's….um…she's gorgeous," Maura managed while still in shock. This can't be happening…._

_"Yes she is," Jane reflected on Lisa's beautiful blue eyes and sexy smile._

_"How long? Were you two dat-Maura couldn't bring herself to say the word….."was it going on during the trial?"_

_"No, no, not at all...we remained professional, although we did get to know each other during the time we were preparing for trial….. and…. there were of course a lot of long days hanging out in court during the trial, so we got to talk quite a bit." Jane maintained. _

_Maura nervously swirled her fingertip around the edges of her wine glass as she stared into the deep red abyss of the liquid. Jane is seeing a woman...a woman that is not me…Maura thought in disbelief. She felt as if someone had punched her in the gut. "So, how long has it been going on?" Maura repeated her question. She really wanted an answer from Jane on this._

_"Well, I guess….officially….it's been two weeks. I would've said something sooner but it was never the right time. You are the first person I've told. No one else knows. I wanted to make sure I told you before any rumors started or you heard it from someone else like I did about Ian." Jane regretted it as soon as the words left her mouth. Way to go slick, you just had to get your dig in didn't you, Jane chastised herself. _

_Maura's gaze snapped up and bore into Jane's eyes. It was now readily apparent that Jane still harbored resentment over Maura not confiding in her about Ian. Even though Maura had tried to explain on more than one occasion as to why she never mentioned him, Jane still did not forgive her for the omission. _

_"Maura, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." Jane leaned forward and covered Maura's hand that rested on the table with her own. Maura remained quiet. After a moment, Maura removed her hand from Jane's. _

_"It's late…. I'm tired…. and…. I think I'm going to call it a night." Maura finally spoke. She needed to be alone to sort through some things. She also realized that the distance between her and Jane had just grown exponentially and she loathed it. _

The sound of Jane putting her phone back on her belt broke Maura from her memories. She looked down at Jane who was still sitting at her desk. Maura held out a file for Jane to take.

"Hey, sorry about that," Jane stated as she took the folder from Maura, referring to the personal phone call that delayed the business at hand. Jane opened the file and scanned over the results of the autopsy.

"Plans again tonight?" Maura asked already knowing the answer.

"Um…yeah, Lisa and I are having dinner. But first, I have to go by my apartment to change and talk to Ma and Frankie. They are meeting me there in a couple of hours."

"Really….why?" Maura thought it odd that Angela and Frankie would be at Jane's apartment while Jane got ready for a date.

"It's time to tell'em about Lisa…I want them to meet her soon." Jane explained. She sighed at the thought. She was not looking forward to the conversation and dreaded having to deal with the million and one questions she was going to get from her mother. But she might as well get it over with…procrastinating would only delay the inevitable.

Maura decided to change the subject as it was making her feel worse. If Jane was telling her family about Lisa, that meant that Jane planned for Lisa to be around for awhile, which possibly also meant that Jane was starting to have feelings for Lisa? "So, would you be up for a brisk jog tomorrow morning?" Since it was going to be Saturday, she hoped that they could meet for a run and then spend the rest of the day together, provided they didn't get called out on a case.

"Tomorrow is no good,'' Jane didn't want to have to wake up early after being out with Lisa the night before, plus Jane wasn't sure if tonight would be the night that she and Lisa consummated their relationship and if it was, she definitely didn't want to have to get up and go for a jog on their first morning after. As Jane spoke she could see the disappointment flow across Maura's face so she offered an alternative, "how about Sunday morning instead?" Jane hated disappointing Maura, more so than the idea of getting up early on a Sunday morning to jog, so she resigned herself to her fate. Maura's face changed from disappointment to a smile, which made Jane feel less guilty about putting her friend off.

"Okay…. and then we can get a little breakfast and some coffee at the French bakery on the corner." Maura offered. Maura couldn't help feeling that once again, she was taking a distant back seat in Jane's new life. She desperately missed how things used to be between them when they would spend the majority of their time away from the job together.

"Sure, sounds good," Jane said distractedly as she scanned over another file. With that, Maura left the bullpen and returned to her office.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **Nope, still don't own them….

**A/N: **To those that reviewed this story….thank you very much. I will do my best to respond to each of you. I wanted to get another chapter out to you guys as soon as possible. I am delighted that it is being enjoyed. I do my best to keep writing mistakes to a minimum but I don't have a beta and I proof read all my own stuff. I can't promise that there are no mistakes in this one; I am tired and writing in the middle of the night… I hope you enjoy. I am brand new at this so as always, reviews are truly appreciated.

**Chapter 3:**

"Ma, Frankie, I have something to say….and Ma, before I even get started, I don't want you making a big deal about this, okay?" Jane started off as her mom and younger brother sat down on the sofa in her apartment and looked up at her expectantly. Jane was going to sit as well but found that she had a lot of nervous energy so she decided to stand and ended up pacing a little before she went further. The senior Rizzoli sat straight up on the edge of Jane's sofa, eyes wide with anticipation. This was so unlike Jane, it must be something _BIG_ she thought. Maybe a promotion at work that would get her off the streets? Or maybe it was something even better than that! Maybe Jane's revelation had to do with something, or rather _SOMEONE_ that would lead to future grandchildren for her! Dare she hope for such wonderful news from her oldest child!

"Hello? Ma?" Jane waved her hand towards her mother's face to get her to snap out of her daze "Okay?"

Ma Rizzoli snapped out of her reverie, "Of course dear, of course." Jane tilted her head and eyed her mother suspiciously but pressed on with her news anyway.

"First of all, I am not straight," she blurted out awkwardly. There was really no other way to say it with finesse. Jane paused, blinked, and waited for their reaction. Ma Rizzoli blinked several times and stared back at her daughter blankly. Jane looked at Frankie's face and read-yeah?..so what…and? She looked back at her mother again….silence. Jane began to wonder if her mother had heard what she said. "Ma? I said I'm not straight,"…..blank stare…"as in sexually,"….another blank stare….."as in sexuality,"…..still nothing. "Oh for God's sake!" Jane let out a frustrated sigh as she threw her hands up in the air. "I like women Ma!" Well not _ALL _women Jane thought. Visions of Lisa ran through her brain…..actually one particular woman….then she thought of Maura….make that two women….good grief! "It's complicated," she said out loud to no one in particular. She placed a hand to each side of her head and rubbed her temples. She could feel the makings of a headache welling up in her brain.

"Is that it?" the senior Rizzoli finally spoke, clearly disappointed that this was all there was to the 'Big Revelation'.

"Ma, do you understand what I am trying to say to you?" Jane tried again.

"Of course I do Jane…I am….after all….a modern woman. Your brother and I already knew this so called 'Big News'." Angela used her fingers in the air to display the quotation marks.

"Really?" is all Jane could get past her lips. She was caught off guard by her mother's admission. How_?_ How is it _they _alreadyknew when it is something she just recently figured out for herself.

"Yes Jane, I really don't think you give people enough credit. _We_ have known for a long time now. It seems that you are the last one to figure it out dear;" Ma Rizzoli stated matter of factly.

"Whose we?" Jane fired back.

Frankie took the opportunity to speak up. He rolled his eyes as he answered Jane's question. "Janie? Seriously?...Me, Ma, Tommy, Pop, the guys at the station, ya know….that 'we'. Frankie didn't understand how this was news to his senior sibling. As a cop, Jane was his hero. He had always looked up to his older sister but even more so now since she had proven herself to be one of the toughest and best cops on the force . She was everything that he aspired to become. However, when it came to his sister being able to figure herself out away from the job, Frankie thought she could be a little dense.

"Great, just great…..glad everyone is sooo in tuned with me and my personal life and yet no one found it necessary to let me in on the 'little secret'." Jane said sarcastically with her own air quotation marks.

"Well honey, we all assumed you would figure it out eventually. You have to do things your own way, you always have. You are too strong willed and too stubborn to have listened to any of us anyway. I do have to say though Jane for as good as a detective you are; it sure did take you a long time to understand all the clues." Ma Rizzoli explained.

Now it was Jane's turn to stare at her mother. "My headache's getting worse." she grumbled.

"Wait!" Angela loudly exclaimed. It startled Jane. "You started everything off with first of all….is there more…..like a second of all?" Hope rose anew in Ma Rizzoli.

Jane took a break from massaging each temple and returned her attention to her mother. "Actually… yes, there is more," Jane revealed. "I'm seeing someone. It's got the potential to be serious…..as in long term."

"Maura!" the senior Rizzoli shouted enthusiastically.

"Maura." Frankie's tone was more of a statement that said no surprise there.

Angela continued on, "it's about time you two got together. Dr. Isles is already family but this new development makes things even better. Dr. Isles…um, I mean Maura, will make a wonderful daughter-in-law. I am so happy for the two of you!"

"Oh boy," Jane muttered under her breath. _This is not going at all like she expected_, she thought. How did she think it was going to go? She wasn't sure but this was definitely not what she expected. She looked helplessly over at her brother who now had a look of confusion on his face. Her younger brother had always been able to read her better than anyone else. She heard her mother saying something about a celebration dinner party and how she had always wanted Jane to marry a doctor.

"Ma," Jane stated softly in hopes of getting her attention. This was going to be hard for Jane to say. It didn't work, Angela continued muttering something about invitations, flowers, cakes…"Ma!" Jane shouted. "It's not Maura!" Jane paused and Angela Rizzoli stopped dead in her tracks. She had rendered her mother speechless which was nearly impossible to do. "It's someone else…..her name is Lisa Kennedy and she is an Assistant District Attorney for the city of Boston. We've been seeing each other for a few weeks now."

"Wow," Frankie said out loud. He hadn't seen that one coming.

"Wha….What do you mean?" Angela asked in a state of confusion. "I don't understand. It has always been Maura, ever since you two met. The way you two look at each other, how comfortable you are around one another. The caring…..the loving…..I…I just don't understand…..how can it not be Maura?" Angela's voice quivered.

"I know Ma… it was just not meant to be, Maura and I….it wasn't ever going to happen and now it never will anyway. It's okay though….ya know? I'm okay. I've accepted it and moved on. A small part of my heart will always belong to Maura Isles but I've closed that book, at least as far as having her as a romantic partner. Maura will always still be my friend. I'm with Lisa now and… I'm starting to have feelings for her." Jane looked back and forth between her mother and younger brother. "I want you guys to meet her. I ask that you treat Lisa the way you would if it had been Maura. It's important to me that you….that the both of you….do that ok?" Silence fell among the three Rizzolis. Jane needed to give them a chance to process everything she had just said. Angela was looking down at her hands folded in her lap and Jane couldn't help but notice the disappointment that her mother's face displayed even though she was doing her best to hide it.

"Ok Janie," Frankie finally found his voice. "But I still don't quite understand…..why isn't it you and Maura? You guys are perfect for each other, everyone knows that. What changed?" Frankie had a lot more questions than answers swirling around in his head. He didn't know whether or not Maura fancied women. To him that information was of no consequence. He just assumed that the closeness Maura shared with Jane transcended any issues related to gender. He believed they were destined to be together…..soul mates. He was having a hard time imagining his sister with anyone else. "What happened?"

"Ian." Jane rasped out just above a whisper. "Ian happened...the love of Maura's life….not me, never me….it's Ian." Jane felt an old familiar sadness course through her veins. "Things haven't been the same between us since." Jane stated plainly. She also knew that the reason things had not been the same between them was her fault. She had pulled back, become guarded, detached. She knew enough about herself to know that she did it to protect herself…her heart. Where Maura Isles was concerned, Jane had all of her walls up, her defense mechanisms solidly in place. She still cared very deeply for Maura but she could not allow herself to drop her guard and risk opening up a wound she tried so desperately to keep closed.

After helping Maura pull it back together when Ian left, Jane took the opportunity to do some serious soul searching. She spent a lot less time with Maura, claiming to be busy with this or that. When she wasn't at work, she was either home or with Frankie. She hadn't even gone out with Frost and Korsak to the Dirty Robber in quite awhile. It reminded her too much of her time with Maura. She had become somewhat of a recluse and tried diligently to bury herself in her work, more than she usually did. Jane spent a lot of her alone time crying, drinking heavily, and crying some more. Jo Friday was her constant companion during that time. She would climb up in the bed with Jane and gently lick away the tears on her face. When Jane was around Maura, her family, or the guys at work, she was able to keep up enough of a facade to keep questions about her life to a minimum. The rest of the time, she avoided, deflected, or, if all else failed…lied. Her isolation from others was not unlike what she had done after she had been shot last year. After her release from the hospital, she tried her best to keep others at bay so she could deal with what happened. She had acted the same way while she dealt with her feelings for Maura. It had been a rough time for her, during both instances, but she had got through it and had come out on the other side. She had even somehow been able to place the romantic love she had for Maura into a box, lock it, hide the key and put it in the deepest cavern of her heart. Compartmentalizing, Maura had called it.

"Oh," Frankie simply said. How had he missed all of this? He was usually so good at reading his sister and detecting when something was going on with her. Detecting…..now Frankie realized why he had failed to see it. He had been too busy trying to make detective these past few months to notice anything. When he was around Jane at work, he was usually playing errand boy for them, a requirement in order to "pay his dues" before making detective. Away from the job, he would pick Jane's brain as much as possible in hopes he would learn all that he needed through osmosis. He inwardly felt guilty for not paying more attention to what Jane had been going through.

"Listen, I don't know what else to say and I really need to go change clothes and get ready. I'm having dinner with Lisa tonight and I'm picking her up in an hour. We'll talk more later if you want, okay?" Jane directed the last part right at Frankie. She and Frankie had always been close and confided in each other in practically everything. She didn't want him thinking that she had or would continue to shut him out. Right now, though, she didn't want to talk about it anymore. She suddenly felt as if she had poorly timed the talk with her family before her date with Lisa but she really was ready for them to know and was glad to have the burden lifted. She figured her mother would share the news with Tommy and Pop as soon as she left Jane's apartment.

Surprisingly, Angela did not try to push Jane any further in their conversation and even agreed to leave without much protest. Jane thought it might have something to do with the fact that her mom was going to Atlantic City for the weekend and was probably anxious to finish packing. Jane had never been more grateful to the slot machine gods for this little reprieve.

After Frankie and Angela left, Jane went to grab a quick shower, shave all the right parts, and find something descent in her closet to wear. She wondered if tonight would be the night that she would finally open up some of herself to Lisa. It was so hard for her to take that step, to let anybody in, especially after allowing herself to get too close to Maura. But if she was starting to have feelings for Lisa, which she was, then it was only fair that she should at least try to let Lisa past some of her barriers. Jane's mind wondered back to their first real conversation after the trial was completed and they had gone to grab a drink together.

_"Excellent job on this case Detective Rizzoli," Lisa Kennedy complimented. "Now that we have a guilty verdict, I suspect the defendant's sentencing will take place as early as Monday. She should get life without parole... chalk another one up for the good guys. So….you up for a celebratory drink on me?" _

_"Um…sure, why not…I could use a beer. Got a place in mind?" It had been a long week and Jane was ready for some down time. Plus, she found herself drawn to the blonde haired, blue eyed ADA and wasn't quite ready to part ways, even though the business aspect of their time together was concluded. As much as it unnerved her, Jane felt a flutter in her stomach when Lisa suggested the drink and she recognized the feeling almost immediately…it was attraction…oh damn._

_"Well, how about the place that Boston's finest likes to patron quite often, the Dirty Robber isn't it?" The look on Jane's face told Lisa that the detective wasn't particularly fond of her choice, so, she suggested an alternative. "Or….. there is that Irish pub down the block on the left if you prefer something closer. I don't know if you have ever been there but it's kinda cool…..it's an old fire house that was in operation back in the 1800s, complete with the slide pole in the center and everything," Lisa explained with much excitement in her voice. "It's the bar of choice for the city's firefighters. I know cops and firefighters don't normally hang out together so it would be as if you were venturing over to the dark side," Lisa said with a laugh._

_Lisa was right, Jane wouldn't normally choose to hang_ _around a bunch of hose draggers as they talked about their 'exciting' day of work that consisted of washing fire trucks, throwing steaks on the grill, playing basketball, and last but not least, sleeping..….all while getting paid. Yeah, tough job those firefighters have…"sure, that'll work." Jane agreed against her better judgment but decided that it was better than going to the Dirty Robber with a woman that wasn't Maura. _

_Jane and Lisa walked in the pub and chose a booth near the back. Call it paranoid or precaution but Jane opted for the seat that faced out towards the front of the bar so she could observe everyone that went in and out of the establishment. She never wanted to be caught off guard in case a robbery occurred. The waitress arrived at their table quickly and Lisa and Jane each ordered a beer. They dabbled in small talk about each other's careers. Lisa explained that she was originally from Boston but had been living in Manhattan for the last five years working for the New York State Attorney General's Office. She returned to Boston six months ago after being homesick for awhile and decided to take a job as a prosecutor for the city. _

_Jane couldn't help but to smile wide when Lisa confessed to being a diehard Red Sox fan. This prompted a rather lengthy conversation about players' stats, the season thus far, and the team's overall chances at making the playoffs. Their conversation had flowed easily and smoothly as if they had known each other for quite some time…until, however, it turned more personal towards Jane. _

_"So, Detective, when you are not out detecting and catching bad guys….. or, watching our favorite baseball team play, what'da like to do for fun?"Lisa really wanted to find out who Jane Rizzoli was away from the job. _

_"Fun huh? Well…..let's see…. I really don't have much free time but in the rare moments that I do, I would say I like hanging out with my baby brother, Frankie. We'll usually go shoot some hoops or bat some balls around or something. Hmm….what else…let's see…..I enjoy kickboxing, so I try to do that as often as I can…and…I also take walks with Jo Friday." Jane felt as if she was just rambling off anything that came to mind and she felt somewhat foolish. _

_Lisa almost spit out the sip of beer she just took, "Joe Friday?" Is that the guy's name….really…..Joe Friday?" Lisa questioned with a laugh. Please tell me that's not your boyfriend._

_Jane laughed, "no, no, Jo Friday is a girl." Lisa raised her eyebrows…"dog." Jane finished. My old partner, Vince Korsak…..aka Dr. Dolittle, found her on the side of the road during one of our stakeouts and suckered me into adopting her. He named her Jo for Josephine and it kinda grew on me. Actually, she has turned out to be a pretty good little companion." Jane contemplated all the other ways she spent her free time and realized she had forgotten a piece of information. "Oh….and I'll also spend some of my free time with my peculiar best friend Maura." Not as often as she used to, Jane thought to herself. _

_"Maura?... Dr. Isles?….. the Chief Medical Examiner?" Lisa had heard stories from fellow prosecutors about the eccentric doctor that everyone referred to as the 'Queen of the Dead'." Jane nodded her head yes and Lisa continued. "I didn't know you two were good friends…..interesting…you both seem like complete polar opposites." _

_"Yeah, we are the epitome of the odd couple," Jane said with a smirk on her face. _

_"So, you guys are together then?" Lisa pushed. Jane had a look of confusion on her face, not to mention she was starting to get uncomfortable with all the questioning…"as in a couple?" Lisa explained._

_"Ah... no," Jane tried to hide the flush on her face…."we're just friends." She ran her fingers through her raven locks and shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She was becoming increasingly unhappy about the direction of the conversation. "Wow, I'm starting to get the feeling that I'm back on the witness stand counselor."Jane tried to hide the exasperation in her voice. _

_"Oh God…I am so sorry….that was not my intention. I'm just trying to get to know you," Lisa genuinely did not mean to push Jane so hard. _

_"Why?" Jane countered._

_"Because I'm attracted to you…..I thought it was fairly obvious." Lisa smiled seductively as her blue eyes bore into Jane's chocolate ones. They stared at each other from across the table. _

_"Boy, you are direct, aren't you?" Jane said with a nervous laugh as she broke eye contact and glanced down at her beer. She started to slowly peel off the label, a habit she couldn't resist when she was nervous. This woman was causing Jane to be off kilter and she wasn't sure how to handle it. _

_"I know….I am…I'm sorry….but it's my nature. I think that's one of the big reasons I became an attorney. I don't mind asking the tough questions." Lisa paused briefly before continuing. "Unless I'm totally off base here, I think the feeling is mutual. So… how long would you like to dance around our attraction for each other before we acknowledge it?"_

_Jane returned her gaze to Lisa. She didn't know what to say. Yes, she was attracted to her but what did that mean? Did she want to be with a woman? Part of her winced at the thought. That meant that everyone who had ever called her gay or said she was a lesbian was right and she hated being stereotyped. She had fought so long against it….dating guys…trying to feel something with them. Then when she became a cop, she thrust everything she had into her job and found that it was enough. Besides, she could never be with anyone….male or female, that didn't respect her drive for the job. She had pushed away thoughts of ever falling in love a long time ago. It just wasn't something that was ever going to happen…..until Maura came into her life. Somehow, without Jane's awareness or permission, the medical examiner slowly seeped around her defenses and penetrated the walls around her heart. She still wasn't exactly sure when her feelings for the ME changed into something more than friendship because she had unconsciously fought it for so long. But after Ian, she had finally succeeded in building the walls back up around her heart….this time with a lot more mortar. So…..where did that leave her? Did she want to pursue something with someone else? A myriad of emotions flowed through her….._

_Lisa saw the wave of emotions playing out in Jane's eyes as they stared at each other. Lisa had never met someone so guarded. She could almost physically feel the turmoil swirling around inside Jane and wondered what had caused such pain. For some reason, Lisa felt compelled to touch Jane….not in a sexual, flirting way but in a sympathetic, comforting gesture. She put her hand on top of Jane's as it rested on the tabletop near her beer. Jane glanced at the hand and then back up to meet Lisa's eyes again. "I don't do dating well," Jane finally spoke and Lisa nodded her head in understanding, "but…..I am attracted to you," Jane finally let out._

_"Well then…..why don't we just take it slow and see where it leads?" Lisa offered. "You may come to find that I'm not your type after all," Lisa smiled softly and Jane couldn't help but to already know that Lisa was in fact just her type and the more she was around this woman, the more she wanted to get to know her. _

Jane's mind snapped back to the present. She gave herself a once over in the mirror and was glad she opted to wear her red button down shirt over a black tank top. She gave a pat to the top of Jo Friday's head and said, "see ya later girl….wish me luck!" With that, she was out the door and headed straight into the frightening unknown.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **I don't own R & I

**A/N: **Thank you all for the wonderful reviews and feedback, I am truly appreciative. The heading of this chapter is a shout-out to Rain-n-Rizzlesgal who suggested it. I listened to the song and loved it. Although it belonged better in Chapter 3, I think it is still applicable. I also wish to include some replies to my reviewers to thank them for taking the time to make comments….

To DreamReality21: Thank you very much for your comments. Angela was very disappointed that it wasn't Maura because Maura is of course, the 'perfect daughter'…..poor Jane L.

To Vargas 1989 and Dragonwingz76: Thank you very much for your review and comments.

To Jenn: Thank you for the compliment, it's nice to have the encouragement. As far as Maura realizing she loves Jane, I think you will be somewhat pleased with what transpires in this chapter but our girls still have a long way to go.

To RizzlesFan100: Thank you. There will be a lot more angst coming in the next chapters.

To debonairgeek: I know, it's hard not to feel bad for Maura. Maura's good people but it looks like she is going to get a taste of how Jane felt during the Ian thing.

To PR Stella 926: Thank you; that means alot to a writer when a reader says they can feel intense emotions from their story. I will do my best to deliver the same intensity in the upcoming chapters.

To Clemenmore, WolfDragonGod, Kj, and VJulesv: Thank you very much for your comments and reviews.

To tenaji: I agree, at some point Maura needs to step up…..let's hope she does so!

To Elizabeth: Thank you for your comments. After reading your review, I actually ended up changing the rating to T. I think I was being too strict on my rating. Don't worry, I promise that when our favorite girls finally get together, it will be much better than anything that they would have had with anyone else J

To Jits, D and sqh123: Thank you for your review and comments. They are much appreciated.

To Red: Thank you. I agree, I don't want Jane pining over Maura…..it's time for them to trade places.

**Chapter 4: Someone Like You (Adele)**

Jane arrived at Lisa's apartment right on time. She took one last look at herself in her rearview mirror, got out of the car, and headed up the first flight of stairs to the second level and Lisa's front door. She stood there, took in a deep breath, and let it out slowly before she knocked. _Why was she so nervous tonight?_ What made tonight any different than all of the other dates she'd had with Lisa? Well, because tonight she was ready…..ready to take their relationship to the next level…..at least she thought she was. Lisa had been painfully patient with her, never pushing, never assuming, and always willing to let Jane dictate the ebb and flow of their physical affection with one another. Lisa was so far ahead of her in this game. She had been with women before and was much more adept at being in touch with who she was and what she wanted. It was one of the qualities Jane found most appealing about her. By contrast, when it came to matters of the heart, Jane was often unsure of herself. She second guessed everything, wondered if she was doing the right thing, feeling the right way. She had never been any good at being in touch with her emotions….except for anger. Anger was the one emotion that Jane related to best, even though she was smart enough to realize that it was a cover to mask all the pain she bottled up inside. She hoped for her sake… and for Lisa's…. that she had what it took to travel down this road and not tuck tail and run…

Lisa opened the door and seductively smiled at the tall raven haired beauty standing in her doorway. "Wow, you look absolutely stunning," Jane said with her raspy voice that Lisa had come to adore. Jane noticed that Lisa's five foot seven inch slender frame looked even more exquisite in black form fitting slacks and high heels, accentuating every curve. She topped it off with a pale blue blouse that showed an ample amount of cleavage, the color making Lisa's blue eyes even more pronounced than usual.

"Hmmm, you don't look so bad yourself hot stuff," Lisa eyed Jane up and down before she turned around and headed back towards the kitchen. Jane stepped in and closed the door behind her. She openly admired Lisa's physique as she watched her reach up and grab two wine glasses down from her cabinet. "Is wine okay or would you prefer a beer?"

"Wine is perfect, thank you," Jane answered as she walked up behind Lisa and wrapped her arms around her waist. She began placing delicate kisses on the side and back of Lisa's neck. Lisa closed her eyes and leaned back against Jane, unable to stifle a soft moan that escaped her lips. Lisa's body openly responded to Jane's ministrations as raised goose bumps appeared all over her arms.

After a moment, Lisa turned around to face Jane but was still in her arms. "Wow," Lisa said softly with passion in her eyes. "Someone is in a mood tonight." Lisa smiled mischievously as she tilted her head slightly and narrowed her eyes, "Who are you and what have you done with Jane Rizzoli?"

"What?" Jane responded with an equally sexy smile of her own. "I've been looking forward to this all day and well….I kinda missed you."

Lisa raised an eyebrow, "Kinda?"

Jane leaned down to meet Lisa's lips but stopped just short before whispering, "well…maybe a little more than kinda." Lisa smiled and slowly shook her head up and down in agreement before openly accepting Jane's lips upon her own. They kissed with blazing passion and each fought hard to keep their hands in neutral territory. Their lips separated but stayed mere inches from each other. Both attempted to slow down their panted breathing. Jane started to think that they might not make it to dinner.

"Okay hot rod, if this goes on much longer, I cannot be held responsible for my actions," Lisa whispered close to Jane's lips. "So….you taking me to dinner or what," Lisa removed her arms from around Jane's neck and rested her hands on Jane's shoulders instead. She looked deeply into Jane's eyes and could tell that the Italian detective had much more planned than dinner this evening.

**Here I Am (Leona Lewis)**

Maura flipped through the pages of her latest autopsy report as she sat at the desk in her office. She had decided to work late to get caught up on paperwork that was getting back logged. Her assistants had left hours ago to get an early start to their weekend. Maura had no plans for the evening. Normally, she and Jane would have spent time together, probably going for a drink at the Dirty Robber or watching a movie at one of their places. Not tonight though….. tonight Jane was with Lisa. Maura tried her best to focus on her notes but found that her thoughts continued to drift back towards the olive skinned detective. She couldn't quite place what was bothering her so much tonight. Jane had been out with Lisa on quite a few dates now, why did tonight feel different? She tried desperately to analyze what she was feeling, put logic to her emotions but the answers eluded her. Frustrated, she put her elbows on the desk and let her face fall into her hands. After a few moments, a light knock on the office door caused her to raise her head back up.

"Hey Doc….you okay?" It was Vince Korsak. "You don't look like you're feeling too well." Korsak stepped into Maura's office and waited for a reply. He had noticed, for quite some time now, that Jane and Maura's friendship was strained. He even had a pretty good idea as to why but had decided to keep it to himself because it was none of his business. He also had a strange feeling that whatever was up with Maura tonight had to do with a certain detective. You couldn't be a detective for as long as he had and not be able to read subtle body language.

"Um, yes…I'm okay…..thank you for asking…..just a little tired I guess." She wasn't really lying….she was okay….. technically speaking. "What can I do for you Sergeant Korsak?"

"Well, Frost and I were about to leave and decided to go grab a beer at the Dirty Robber. We wanted you to join us if you were up for it." Korsak knew Jane was out with Lisa tonight and thought that maybe Maura could use some friendly company.

"Oh…..well…..thank you very much for thinking of me but I'll take a rain check. I was just about to wrap it up and go home for the evening." Although very grateful for the invitation, Maura wasn't in the mood to socialize and would not have been very good company to Korsak and Frost. If she was truly honest with herself, there was only one person she wanted to be with right now, unfortunately, _she_ was with someone else.

Korsak left Maura's office and took the elevator back upstairs. She was alone once more. It was unbelievably quiet. For some reason, the silence reminded her of the same eerie quiet that existed right before the siege at headquarters last year…..the day Jane almost died. She didn't like to reflect back on that day very often, it was much too painful. When her memories did float back to that day, she felt all of the same emotions with nearly identical intensity. The helplessness and desperation she felt when she thought she might lose Jane was unbearable. Maura's mind drifted to the moment she walked into Jane's ICU room and saw her for the first time after surgery. The surgeon had told Maura that the surgery went well but the rest was up to Jane and she had about a fifty-fifty chance of survival. Because Maura was a doctor, Jane's surgeon agreed to let her see Jane briefly…..

_Maura stood just outside the door of Jane's hospital room trying to find the courage to walk inside. Even though she was a doctor, she found it difficult to prepare herself for what she was about to see. She took a deep breath and stilled herself as she pushed open the door. There was Jane, lying unconscious with tubes sticking out of everywhere, the sound of the heart monitor and oxygen machine assaulting Maura's senses. She slowly walked over to Jane's bedside and let her eyes scan every visible inch of the detective. She tentatively took hold of Jane's left hand, bent down near her ear and spoke softly to her. "Jane, it's me….I'm here with you. I will always be here for you. I need you to do something for me, okay?" Tears started trickling down Maura's cheeks as she continued, "I need you to fight Jane...….I need you to fight like you've never fought before…..I can't lose you…I need you…...….you have no idea how much you mean to me….I've never told you but I'm telling you now…. you are so much more than my best friend….you're my family…..please, please don't leave me….I'm not ready to let you go…_

Maura felt a drip of water splash on top of her hand which thrust her back into the present. She reached up and touched her cheeks, feeling the wetness flowing from her eyes. She grabbed a Kleenex and delicately wiped the tears away. _I'm not ready to let you go, _she remembered telling Jane. Suddenly, Maura had an overwhelming need to see Jane right away. She grabbed her purse and keys and dashed out of the morgue.

**After Tonight (Mirah Carey)**

Jane and Lisa had spent their evening dining at Anthony's Pier Four Restaurant in the harbor. Jane was certain that she had just eaten the best seafood she had ever tasted. After dinner, they decided to stroll along the boardwalk surrounding the marina and watch the boats sail in and out of the harbor. Lisa wrapped her arms around Jane's right arm and leaned into her as they walked back towards Jane's car. The drive back to Jane's apartment was mostly in silence as they both quietly anticipated what was about to happen between them. When they arrived at Jane's place, Jane had to park a block away because all of the parking spaces in front of her building were full. Jane and Lisa walked hand in hand down the sidewalk towards the apartment but stopped briefly when Lisa suddenly turned, wrapped her arms around Jane's neck, and passionately kissed her.

Shortly after entering Jane's apartment, Lisa kicked off her heels and went over to Jane's stereo and turned on some soft music. Norah Jones sultry voice belting out 'Turn Me On' flowed smoothly through Jane's living room. Jane went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses before sitting down on the sofa. She expertly opened the wine bottle and poured them each a glass.

"This is one of my favorite songs of hers," Lisa said referring to the music as she approached Jane, "especially right now." Lisa reached her hand out for Jane to take and Jane complied, standing up directly in front of her. Their eyes locked with one another as their bodies swayed slowly to the rhythm of the music. Lisa placed her arms around Jane's neck and whispered in her ear, "you sure you want this?" Jane made no verbal response. Instead, she gazed deeply into Lisa's eyes as she slowly removed Lisa's arms from around her neck. Without hesitation, she looked down and took Lisa's hand in her own. Jane turned around slowly and led Lisa to her bedroom. It was an action that spoke louder than any words ever could…

**What I Wanted to Say (Colbie Caillat)**

Maura arrived at Jane's apartment just in time to see Jane and Lisa walking hand in hand down the sidewalk towards Jane's building. She froze. Although she was still in her car and parked on the opposite side of where they were walking, she panicked. _What was she going to do_ _now?_ She hadn't been thinking clearly when she drove there. Did she not think that Jane might still be with Lisa this late? What was she going to do? She desperately needed to talk to Jane. Maybe she could just casually exit her car, walk over to them and say she happened to be in the neighborhood when she saw them. _Oh come on Maura! That is utterly ridiculous! No one would buy that, _she admonished herself. She was trying to think of something else when she saw it…...Lisa turned and passionately kissed Jane. It's one thing to logically _assume_ something's happening, but a whole different realization when you actually _see_ it happen. Maura placed her hand to her mouth to stifle the small whimper that escaped her lips. Her eyes welled up with tears. As soon as she watched them enter Jane's apartment, she turned on the ignition to her car and drove out of there as fast as she could. Maura cried all the way home. _What is wrong with me? Why are you acting like this?_ She pulled into the driveway of her home and shut the engine off. She didn't get out of her car immediately; instead, she placed her forehead on the steering wheel trying to calm herself down. After several moments, she lifted her head up and looked around as if she had forgotten where she was. None of this was making any logical sense to her… how she was acting, what she was feeling…then suddenly, a realization struck her in the chest like a lightning bolt. "_Oh My God!...I think I'm in love with Jane!" _She said out loud to no one…..


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **Don't own them, not for profit, just for fun.

**A/N:** Well, I didn't plan to post an update again this soon, but to be honest, I was not completely happy with my last chapter. Oh well, you live and learn. My muse was working a little better for this one. This chapter leads into the Gone Daddy Gone episode and is extra long so I hope you all enjoy and as always…I really, really, appreciate your reviews.

**Chapter 5: Magic (Colbie Caillat)**

Jane started to stir at the sound of Jo Friday whimpering at the closed bedroom door. She took a moment to let the cobwebs clear her head before opening her eyes. She felt something heavy pressing on her right arm causing her limb to be asleep. She looked over and noticed blonde hair splayed out in all directions…...déjà vu? Except for this particular hair did not belong to Maura. She suddenly had a momentary wave of guilt. _Why does it feel as if I cheated on Maura?_ Jane thought to herself. She planned to quietly slip out of bed to let Jo Friday in the bedroom but wasn't able to before Lisa was roused awake by the same sound. Lisa raised her head up and looked at Jane, "good morning." She gave Jane a light kiss on her collar bone, "It sounds like Ms. Jo would like to come in and visit." Jane went to get up to open the door but Lisa gently put her hand on her chest. "Stay in bed, I'll let her in," Lisa said with a sleepy voice. She opened the door and Jo Friday dashed in with tail wagging, jumped on the bed and started giving Jane sloppy kisses to the face.

Jane was not particularly in the mood to have dog slobber all over her face first thing in the morning….…..not that she was ever in the mood for it. "Jo Friday…no-no…stop." Jane swished her head from side to side to dodge Jo's slobbery assault but the little dog was stealthily fast and able to move around Jane's defenses. "Jo!...stop!...get down!" Jane wanted Jo to get off the bed and climb in her own bed where she could lick _herself_ until her heart was content. The little dog whined but obeyed Jane's command, jumped off the bed, and crawled into her Boston Red Sox doggie bed. She looked back up at Jane with ears down and a sad face.

Lisa laughed at the display until she noticed the little dog's hurt expression, Ohhh…..you hurt her little feelings," Lisa said as she bent down to pet Jo on top of the head. "She just wants some love this morning."

"She'll be alright…nothing that a tasty treat won't fix. We've been together for awhile now…..she knows I'm not much of a morning person." Jane explained as she wiped the slobber off her face.

"You're not huh? Well….…..maybe I could fix that," Lisa said with a sexy smile tucking one side of her blonde locks behind her ear. She got back in bed, crawled on top of Jane and straddled her. She looked down at Jane with passion in her eyes as she rubbed her hands down Jane's shoulders, to her arms, and then to her abdomen. She felt Jane's body tense and recognized why immediately…her hands were close to the gunshot scar. She knew that Jane had been shot last year when a dirty cop and his team of thugs had busted their way into police headquarters to recover incriminating evidence on the rogue cop. Not only had her fellow prosecutors told her the story, she had read the closed case file awhile back out of curiosity. She was in awe of how courageous and selfless Jane had been through the ordeal. "Relax," Lisa placed her hand on top of the scar. "Someday….. ..when you're ready…I would like to hear about this…but it doesn't have to be anytime soon." Lisa moved both her hands and gently took Jane's hands in hers. She brought them up to her lips and placed a gentle kiss on each of them, "same goes for these too."

Jane found it excruciatingly difficult to remain calm and not flinch under Lisa's touch around her scars. The only person Jane had _ever _allowed to touch them prior to this was Maura. It unnerved her to have someone else touch them, even if it was someone that she had just slept with. She had no intention of discussing the details of said scars anytime soon and decided to try to alleviate her tension by changing the subject, "Hey, anyone ever tell you that you bear an uncanny resemblance to that singer…..um, what's her name…..Colbie Caillat?"

Lisa saw right through Jane's attempt, "Great transition to change the subject detective. But, to answer your question…..yes, I have been told that before. It's usually followed up with 'and Colbie Caillat resembles Jennifer Anniston'…..so I guess in all you're saying I resemble Jennifer Anniston?"

"Well, I wouldn't go _that far_," Jane said with an impish smile. This prompted Lisa to grab each side of Jane's waist to tickle her. Jane's response to the attack was to swiftly and efficiently flip Lisa onto her back and pin her arms above her head. Their eyes locked and Jane slowly lowered herself onto Lisa and captured her lips. Poor Jo Friday was going to have to wait a little longer for that tasty treat…..

**The Scientist (Coldplay)**

Maura awoke with a throbbing headache. All through the night, she had fitful and restless sleep, tossing and turning, unable to get her mind to settle down. She entered the kitchen, said good morning to Bass, and started a pot of coffee. She went to the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were puffy and dark, a response to last night's paroxysm of crying. She decided to take a hot shower to calm her paranasal sinus cavity. She turned on the hot water as high as it would go and allowed the bathroom to fill up with steam. She desperately tried to make sense of all the emotions swirling around inside of her. As she entered the shower, she welcomed the steaming hot water as it sprayed over her hair, face, and body. Her mind suddenly assaulted her with visions of Jane and Lisa. _Were they still together? Did Lisa spend the night? _Maura's mind continued to torment her by dancing visions of Jane and Lisa together in Jane's bed. She placed her hands on the front shower wall and leaned forward against it. Maura shook her head back and forth in attempt to shake the vivid visual displays away. _How did this happen?_ She tried to make sense of her change in feelings for Jane. _I'm in love with Ian, right?…and Jane? I'm in love with Jane too?_

Until recently, Maura had thought that Ian was the only one for her…..the only one that she could ever imagine settling down with and starting a family. Although she continued to date and have sexual relationships with other men, she had held hope that one day she and Ian would eventually be together. He was, after all, the love of her life…._wasn't he_? She attempted to dissect her emotions one by one, pulled them apart and examined them with her logical mind. She was a scientist….she could explain everything with logic and reasoning. She loved Ian and Jane was her best friend. It should be just that simple, right? Why then now, when she thought of being in love and settling down with said love of her life was Ian's face replaced with Jane's? Try as she did, she failed to get her heart in sync with her mind. Her mind told her that what she was feeling was a facade, that Jane was only her best friend and nothing more. That the only reason she was having these feelings was because she was jealous that somebody else was spending more time with her best friend than she was. But her heart said otherwise…and it was speaking much louder.

Even if she conceded the fight between her heart and mind and admitted that she was, in fact, in love with Jane…where did that leave her? Jane was now with Lisa and from the way it looked, Jane had developed feelings for the ADA. The sheer fact of this caused Maura to make the decision to suppress her newly discovered feelings for Jane. Maura thought than even without Lisa in the picture, it would be difficult at best for her and Jane to be romantically involved. Add the fact that Lisa was indeed now a part of Jane's life, it was damn near impossible to think that anything would ever happen between them.

After showering, Maura poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down to read the morning paper. She fought the urge to call Jane even though she ached to hear her raspy voice. She was too afraid that she would discover that Lisa was still with Jane and she couldn't bear the thought of having that notion confirmed. Maura didn't know how she intended to spend her day today but whatever she decided to do, it would be something to help take her mind off of Jane. She desperately needed to take a break from all of the thinking and feeling she had been doing.

Jane and Lisa had spent all of Saturday together and most of that evening. Lisa hinted around about wanting to spend another night with Jane but Jane preferred to have the rest of the evening to herself. She explained to Lisa that she went on call for work starting at midnight and with her luck, she would inevitably get called out to a crime scene. Plus, she had made a promise of an early morning jog with Maura, so she hoped to get a good night's sleep….something that she wouldn't get if Lisa stayed the night. Lisa understood and shortly afterwards, Jane drove Lisa back home, gave her a quick kiss and left with a promise to give her a call later. The rest of Jane's evening was uneventful. For a brief moment, she contemplated giving Maura a call but quickly dismissed the thought….she would see Maura in the morning anyway.

Jane arrived as planned at Maura's front door early on Sunday morning. When Maura answered the door in dress clothes and _not_ jogging attire, Jane was instantly irritated.

"No,no,..no, no no…..did you forget?…Maura, this crack of dawn run was your idea….dammit, I could've slept in."

"Oh shoot….I'm so sorry." Maura had tried so diligently to take Jane off of her mind and immerse herself in a chess game with Tommy that she had completely forgotten about hers and Jane's plan for a morning jog.

"Hey babe, once you touch it, you gotta do something with it," Jane heard Tommy's words coming from inside Maura's house.

Jane was now not just irritated, she was downright furious. "Babe?" She questioned Maura as she walked through the front door and rounded the wall to see Tommy sitting at Maura's dining room table. She noticed that Tommy had a smartass look on his face. "What's Tommy doing here so early?" She looked back at Maura and asked.

"It's not early so much as late…he spent the night." Maura said as she closed the front door. Jane spun around and looked hard at Maura with fire in her eyes. "Playing chess….he's quite good." Maura explained to Jane before directing her attention back to Tommy, "sorry…knight to B3," she said as she walked back over to the chess game and sat down. Jane followed Maura over to the table.

"Good morning sis," Tommy said with a patronizing tone to his voice.

"I didn't realize you two were so chummy," Jane responded sarcastically as she looked around the room to see if there was any evidence at what Maura and Tommy had been up to all night, other than the chess game. She made no attempt to hide her anger and displeasure at finding Tommy spending time with Maura.

"Oh this isn't chummy….I've all but destroyed his king's pawn defense." Maura responded with a challenge to her voice.

"Whatever," Tommy squinted his eyes and openly flirted with Maura in front of Jane. Tommy had a pretty good idea of how Jane felt about Maura, especially after what Ma Rizzoli had told him….. but in his eyes, Maura was fair play. Jane was seeing someone else, so if she didn't have the balls to speak up and go after Maura, then he was going to. Maura was hot and he planned to utilize the ole Rizzoli charm to maneuver closer to the M.E. He didn't bother him that she was out of his league…. it only made it more exciting.

It took all the willpower Jane had not to reach out and wring her younger brother's neck. "Hmm…..good for you." Jane said with her customary husky voice. "Ma goes to Atlantic City for a few days and now you're sleeping over?" She addressed Tommy.

"Like she said Jane, we're just playing chess," Tommy said with mock innocence. He enjoyed getting under the skin of his elder sibling. "Best opponent I ever faced."

Jane rolled her eyes at the flirtatious looks and smiles that were going on between Maura and her brother. She was unbelievably pissed off at the display before her. Luckily at that moment, her phone rang. "Rizzoli," she answered and then listened to the caller on the other end of the line. "Yeah, okay…I'll be right there." She ended the call and directed her next words to Maura, "come on, we have a possible homicide, we gotta go."

"But I'm about to castle and I haven't been called in yet," Maura explained as the aggravation in Jane's expression grew stronger. Maura's phone then rang with her notification of the call out. "No moves without me," Maura whispered to Tommy as she walked away from the table.

"No moves at all," Jane glared at Tommy. "Show yourself out." Before it was all said and done, Jane was certain that she was going to end up pummeling her brother. _He better keep his grubby paws off of Maura_, she thought to herself. Not only was Tommy not good enough for Maura but if any Rizzoli was ever going to be with her, it would be Jane and not her looser brother. Jane was now very much in a foul mood.

Maura rode with Jane to the crime scene. Prior to arriving, Jane had to stop by headquarters and change clothes. Usually, Jane would have had no problem changing in the car in front of Maura, but there was no way in hell that would happen now. The drive to the crime scene was done in relative silence. Jane was too pissed off at the moment to talk to Maura and Maura was lost in her own thoughts about seeing Jane for the first time this weekend. Upon arriving at the crime scene and getting out of the car, Jane spoke her first words to Maura. "Do not sleep with my brother," she said with the strongest tone possible, yet controlled enough to hide her emotions. Maura explained to Jane that she had no such intention, even though she found his exquisite long bones attractive. Jane thought she just might throw up right then and there. Maura further explained that it was Tommy's mind that she found most attractive. She hoped that Jane could read between her comments and realize that Maura was actually talking about Jane.

Jane walked over to Korsak and Frost and examined the crime scene. Korsak was getting on her case about attending her sensitivity training and Jane was in no mood to deal with it. She noticed that the female victim was a dock worker and decided to start her follow up there.

Jane told Korsak and Frost to finish processing the scene while she went to the docks. She then addressed Maura and told her that she was coming with her, to which Maura responded, "You know I'm beginning to think you are deliberately trying to take me away from my chess game."

Although it was true, Jane pointed out the obvious to Maura, "I drove you here."

The car was filled with unspoken tension as they drove to the docks. Maura fought the urge to ask Jane about Lisa but eventually her curiosity won out. "So, how did your date with Lisa go on Friday night?" Maura was apparently hell bent on torturing herself.

"Fine." The one word response was all that Jane could muster. She did not, no could not talk about Lisa with Maura…that would be just way too weird. _Please don't ask me any more questions about Lisa, _Jane silently prayed.

Jane couldn't be that lucky. "So, just dinner and then you took her home?" Maura pressed as she was now certain that self torture was a newly discovered hobby for her.

The muscles on each side of Jane's jaw bone twitched with tension. She unconsciously gripped the steering wheel tighter causing her knuckles to whiten. "Not exactly," Jane replied with another vague response. _Please Maura, just drop it._

Maura was beginning to read between the lines and have her fears confirmed. "I see…..she spent the night with you at your place." _Well, there you go Maura, are you happy now_? She wasn't really sure how she knew, but up until now, she had been fairly certain that Jane had not slept with Lisa. Unfortunately, she was now just as certain that Jane and Lisa had just had their first time together.

Since Maura's last words were said as more of a statement then a question, Jane didn't bother to respond. _Why was Maura so damn interested in her and Lisa's date for God's sake?_ All the questions made Jane uncomfortable, which caused her to drive even faster to get to the docks.

Well, it seemed from the escapades at the dock and the ice pick that was found sticking out of the missing dock worker's heart, Paddy Doyle was back at work. Jane could read the concern in Maura's face as Maura tried to get a grasp of her emotions. _Why would my father murder a female dock worker?_ Maura wondered to herself. Guessing was not something Maura was comfortable with so she changed gears to the one issue she was certain, she would not be performing the autopsy on this victim. She would call in Dr. Pike for this case so there would be no perception of impropriety.

Back at the morgue, the anal retentive medical examiner from Western Massachusetts quickly drained Jane's patience. _This_ _jerk was absolutely nothing like Maura when it came to an autopsy_, Jane thought to herself. She said a silent thank you to the personnel gods for Maura being the Chief Medical Examiner instead of that whack job. It was clear to Jane that Dr. Pike's comments about Paddy Doyle upset Maura. After a few moments, she went to see Maura in her office. "Don't let that idiot get to you." Jane hated to see Maura upset.

"I can't fault him for telling the truth…..Paddy Doyle is a butcher." Maura replied without making eye contact with Jane. She was scrolling through old newspaper articles about her father on her computer.

"Paddy Doyle has nothing to do with you." When Maura pointed out to Jane that Doyle had fathered her, Jane responded, "he simply provided the sperm, alright…..and judging by the _amazing _person that you turned out to be…his DNA didn't win." Jane let her defenses down for just a moment as she allowed her love for Maura to course through her veins. Jane was quick to get it back under control, however, when she realized Maura was receiving instant messages with smiley faces from Tommy. _If anything happens between them, I am going to kill my little brother_, Jane swore to herself.

Later that evening, Maura left the office and returned home to continue her chess game with Tommy while Jane stayed and conducted more follow up with Korsak and Frost. Jane had returned Lisa's call earlier to tell her that she had a long night ahead at work and probably wouldn't get a chance to see or talk to her until tomorrow. A couple of hours later, however, Lisa showed up at Jane's office with a fresh cup of coffee from the gourmet coffee shop around the block from headquarters.

Jane spotted Lisa as soon as she walked into the bullpen…..so did every other male in the room as a low whistle came from somewhere…._probably that asshole Crowe, _Jane said to herself. Korsak and Frost both looked up from their tasks to watch the interaction between Jane and Lisa. Jane met Lisa halfway near the center of the bullpen, "Uh….hey, what brings you hear?" Jane looked around to see who was watching them. She caught Korsak and Frost staring with goofy smiles on their faces, which prompted her to roll her eyes.

"I thought you could use a decent cup of coffee…..and well, I wanted to see you…. if only for a minute," Lisa said the last part in a low whisper so that only Jane could hear. Jane heard Korsak loudly clear his throat from behind her….a clear signal to Jane that a proper introduction was in order. Korsak and Frost both knew of Lisa the ADA but…..they hadn't had a chance to meet Lisa, the new love interest of Jane. Korsak and Frost knew Jane was incredibly uncomfortable at the moment and well,…..they loved every minute of it.

Jane turned around and openly sighed before speaking, "Lisa…..I believe you have met my partner, Barry Frost. Frost jumped up to shake Lisa's hand as they exchanged pleasantries. "And of course, you know Detective Sergeant Vince Korsak. He was once my partner before he got promoted and became a permanent pain in my ass." Jane looked at Korsak and batted her eyelids at him in quick succession.

"Yes, of course, nice to see you again Sergeant Korsak," Although Lisa only knew him from the Merch case, his reputation with the DA's office was legendary. Korsak was one great detective….. _but… not quite as good as the tall Italian that stood next to her_, Lisa thought to herself. "Well, I need to get going…..didn't mean to interrupt, I just planned to stop by for a second."

"I'll walk you out," Jane motioned for Lisa to walk ahead of her before turning back towards Korsak and Frost, "back in a minute."

"Take your time…no hurry," Frost replied with a smirky smile. Jane turned her head back towards Frost and mouthed "stop" before turning back around to leave.

As they got on the elevator to go down to the lobby area, Lisa inquired about the new homicide that Jane was working. Jane explained that it appeared to be the work of Paddy Doyle and had something to do with control over the docks.

"Paddy Doyle? I've heard stories about him all my life. When I realized I wanted to become a prosecutor, I would often daydream about the day Paddy Doyle was captured and brought to justice…..and I would be the prosecutor to try him." Lisa knew that trying a case like that and getting a conviction on Paddy Doyle would result in the fast track to becoming _The District Attorney of Boston…_something she quite aspired to become.

"Yeah, well….good luck with that….no one has ever even got close enough to charge him with a crime, much less have him see the inside of a courtroom." Jane said skeptically.

Jane and Lisa exited the lobby and stood out in front of the building. "I guess you have no idea when you are going to be done, huh?" Lisa already knew the answer but asked it anyway. She had been around enough homicide cases to know that the first forty eight hours after any homicide was the most crucial for a detective. Jane nodded her head no in response to Lisa's question. With that, Lisa reached up and placed a soft kiss on Jane's cheek. "Well then, I guess I'll see you when I see you. Please be careful." Lisa stared into Jane's eyes before she turned around and left.

Jane watched Lisa get in her car and drive away before going back upstairs to the bullpen. While they were hashing out aspects of the case, Korsak and Jane decided to pay another visit to the docks in hopes of getting someone to talk to them. Once at the docks, Jane still got stonewalled by everyone. She had wasted her time because she couldn't find anyone willing to talk to her. After having to put a fat ass male chauvinist pig in his place for touching her ass, Jane got a call that informed her of another dead body….. Paddy Doyle's right hand man.

Jane met Frost at the crime scene. Shortly afterwards, Dr. Pike arrived. Jane groaned, "Ah, what the hell is Pike doing here?" She turned to Pike, "Where is Doctor Isles?" Jane said with exasperation in her voice. She really disliked this idiot and didn't want him messing with one of her crime scenes. When Pike explained that Dr. Isles was unreachable, Jane instantly became concerned. She turned back to Frost and Frost told her to go.

**I Love You (Sarah McLachlan)**

Jane tried calling Maura several times but didn't get an answer. She drove with lights and siren to Maura's place. She entered Maura's house with gun drawn and discovered Maura and Tommy tied up and blood everywhere.

"Where's Doyle?" Jane asked as she scanned the area. Maura explained that he left about fifteen minutes ago. Jane holstered her gun, grabbed some scissors, and cut the zip ties off of Tommy and Maura. Tommy told Jane that Maura had to treat Doyle at gunpoint and Jane grew even more pissed off. Maura informed Jane of what she had learned from Doyle and Tommy defended him, telling Jane that Doyle loved his daughter even though he was a bad guy. Jane looked hard at Tommy, "you finished?" She went over and placed her hands on Maura's back and shoulders before turning back towards Tommy, "do me a favor, give us a minute, will ya?" Tommy briefly thought about protesting before he saw the glazed over look in Jane's eyes that said, '_don't fuck with me right now_.' Tommy decided upon a wise choice of action and left, leaving Jane and Maura alone.

As soon as Tommy left, Maura turned around and wrapped her arms around Jane's neck. Jane fully returned Maura's embrace and held her for awhile. She could feel Maura's body shake from the fear and adrenaline release. Jane rubbed her hands up and down Maura's lower back and whispered, "I got ya, it's okay.…..I got ya." After a few moments, Maura pulled back enough to look up at Jane and stare into her eyes. Jane stared back and realized that something unspoken was happening between them. Jane was certain that what she saw in Maura's eyes was desire… but how was that possible? Maura focused in on Jane's lips and Jane had the realization that Maura was about to kiss her. _What the hell? _Jane failed to hide the look of surprise and confusion on her face, which prompted Maura to pull back and release herself from Jane's embrace. _Dammit, what was that all about? _Jane was both confused and disappointed at the same time.

Maura began cleaning up the mess that her father and his hired thug had made in her house without saying a word to Jane. Jane just stood there for a moment and watched her, patiently waiting for Maura to acknowledge the moment between them. When Maura failed to do so, Jane sighed, removed her jacket, and started to help clean up.

Maura and Jane completed the cleaning in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. By the time they finished, both were exhausted from being without sleep for so long. It was the early morning hours of Monday. Jane rolled her sleeves back down, grabbed her blazer and started putting it on to leave. Maura turned and looked at Jane with a question in her eyes. Jane stood there in silence and stared at Maura. She was determined to force Maura to verbally ask the question.

"Will you please stay with"—…the sound of Jane's phone ringing caused Maura to stop mid question. Jane glanced down at her phone…it was Lisa, she had to answer it. "Good morning," Jane answered as she looked at Maura but then turned around so her back was to her while she spoke in the phone. "Unfortunately…. yes, I'm still at it," Maura could only hear Jane's side of the conversation but she had the distinct feeling it was Lisa on the other end of the line, "okay… sounds good….me too….see you later." Jane wrapped up her conversation and Maura wondered what Jane's 'me too' response to Lisa was all about. _Did Lisa tell Jane she loved her and Jane responded back with 'me too'? _The thought made Maura sick to her stomach.

Jane put her phone back on her belt and turned around to face Maura. "Lisa?" Maura asked as she looked deep into Jane's eyes from across the room. Jane nodded her head yes but spoke not a word. She was struck with the realization that her personal life had just become more complicated.

Maura nodded her head up and down in understanding of Jane's non verbal response. There was no way Maura was going to ask Jane to stay with her now. As if realizing the very same thing, Jane finally spoke, "I need to go home, change clothes, and get back to the office. I've gotta find Doyle." Maura nodded in understanding.

Jane walked towards the door to leave but paused at the threshold. She was torn as to what to do. _Should she turn around and demand that Maura talk to her about their almost kiss and what she was feeling? Or, should she just take it upon herself to embrace Maura and kiss her? And what about Lisa…if anything happened between her and Maura, where did that leave her and Lisa? _All of the questions running through her head required a great deal of time to ponder and sift through….time that she didn't have at the moment. She had to find Doyle and find him quick or she would soon have another murder on her hands. With her decision to worry about her overly complicated love life later, she walked through the door and left Maura standing there staring at the now empty threshold.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** Don't own R & I

**A/N**: Thank you to all who have reviewed. If your profile allowed, I sent each reviewer a personal thank you. I always feel that if someone is willing to take the time to write a review on my story, then I believe it is the least I can do to acknowledge it with a personal thank you. I never realized how important reviews were to a writer until now. As always, I appreciate your reviews.

**Warning**: There is a lot more angst to come, especially in this chapter. This story has a long way to go, so Jane and Maura are not going to get together and live happily ever after anytime soon…. so I apologize in advance. Life and love in reality is very complicated and never so black and white. I firmly believe that one must walk through the fire before one can truly appreciate the gifts on the other side.

**PS:** If you notice, the songs for this chapter are angry and completely unlike the songs in the previous chapters…..I think Jane prefers it that way when she's this angry **;-) **…..thanks for reading.

Chapter 6:

When Jane arrived back at her apartment, exhaustion had taken front and center. She could no longer think clearly about anything. As much as she hated to admit it, she needed to get some rest before going back to the office. She dialed Korsak and told him that she was going to grab a couple of hours of sleep before returning to the office. Korsak let her know that Dr. Isles had called for the same reason and advised that she would not be in until late morning.

Jane made it back to the office right before noon and immediately went down to the morgue to see Maura…..not to discuss what had happened earlier….but to find out if the DNA results of the skin found in Melissa Joy Black's teeth had come back. Jane walked into the autopsy room to find Maura staring at the ice pick that had killed Ray Murphy. Maura was apparently zoned out and did not hear Jane's question the first time. Jane had very little patience for Maura or anybody else at the moment. She repeated her question with significant irritation in her voice. Maura explained that the results would be a formality because she had already determined that Murphy was Melissa Black's killer…..the bite marks on his arm matched Black's dental records. Jane's phone buzzed…..it was a text message from Frost telling her he had something big for her and Maura to see….

Frost was an absolute genius…..he was able to salvage the half digested SD card found inside the victim. The card contained the audio and video of Sutton and Ray Murphy's pay off meeting which broke the case…and also cost Melissa Joy Black her life. Jane realized that she had been wrong…..Doyle had been telling the truth…..he had not committed the murder. It looked as if Ray Murphy had given up Sutton's name to Doyle before he met his fate at the end of an ice pick. The same fate awaited Sutton if Jane and the guys didn't get to him first.

Jane, Korsak, and Frost arrived at the Mass Shore Corporation to discover the doors were locked. Jane un-holstered her Glock and with two quick shots to the glass door, they were able to enter the building. They arrived on the darkened sixth floor to find Sutton in the conference room with a couple of mutilated digits to his left hand…something Korsak thought he very much deserved….in addition to spending the rest of his life in prison.

"Where's Doyle?" Jane demanded as she cleared the back part of the conference room in hopes of finding him. "Is there any other way outta this place?" She slammed her fist against the elevator button, "it's a private elevator…..dammit!" Jane couldn't hide her frustration over Doyle's ability to always escape. She snatched the conference room curtains back just in time to see Doyle walking towards his limo, his left arm still bound in a sling from the gunshot wound Maura had treated. Doyle had the audacity to look up at Jane with an arrogance that said 'nice try detective', and then he was gone. Jane put a BOLO out for him but doubted it would do any good. Well, at least they had Sutton…..he would be the one to pay for the murder of Melissa Black.

**Bitter Taste (Three Days Grace)**

Jane entered Maura's to find that her mother had arrived home from Atlantic City….apparently with a suitcase full of goodies. "Ma, did you take this from the little frig?" Jane picked up one of the mini bottles of alcohol strewn on the counter.

With contention in her voice Angela replied, "They refill it Jane."

_Oh how stupid of me to ask such a silly question, _Jane thought to herself before responding, "this isn't free, Ma, they're gonna charge your credit card." Jane was tired and didn't really feel up to explaining all of this to her mother.

"I paid a hundred and nine dollars a night for that room," Angela said incredulously with her hand on her hip. At the frustrated look on her daughter's face, she replied, "Really?...I'm gonna send it back." Angela started packing everything back up into her suitcase.

Jane turned to Maura and Tommy, who were once again playing chess, and flashed her brightly colored rainbow sensitivity training certificate. "Four hours of sensitivity training…and I passed with flying colors."

"Did you learn anything?" Tommy asked without looking up from the chess board.

"Yes, I am an equal opportunity offender," Jane answered proudly. A moment later her phone rang. Jane removed it from her belt and glanced at the caller ID… a blocked number. She answered it anyway and immediately recognized the voice on the other end when he spoke..…it was Doyle. "How did you get this number?" Maura looked up when she heard Jane's question.

"I'm one of the good guys as compared to this new way of doing business….I know you know that." There was something about Detective Rizzoli that Doyle liked and trusted. Long ago, when he realized his daughter was spending an inordinate amount of time with the fiery detective, he had his folks check her out. He also did his own checking up on Jane and found her to be someone very worthy to not only be in his daughter's life but to also protect Maura when he wasn't around.

"I'm not sure I do….where are you?" Jane didn't expect for Doyle to tell her but she thought she'd ask anyway. When Doyle refused to tell her, Jane responded, "well, that's too bad, why don't you tell me about Melissa Joy Black?" By this time, Maura had stood up and moved next to Jane so she could hear the caller….she had already figured out that it was her father. Jane pulled the phone away from her ear slightly so Maura could hear.

"Back when I ran the docks, we didn't kill women…or hurt hard working people like her father Richie." Doyle explained. When Jane told him that Richie's death was ruled an accident, Doyle responded, "Yeah? Check the DNA of the blood alcohol test they said was Richie's." Doyle paused before continuing, "take care of my daughter."

Maura's blood started to boil at her father's last statement. "I can take care of myself," Maura loudly proclaimed into Jane's phone before telling Jane to hang up.

Doyle was not surprised to hear his daughter's voice in the phone so near to Jane. As a matter of fact, he had counted on it. Maura would've refused to listen to anything he had to say but by him contacting Rizzoli, he was able to get the message to his daughter. For some reason, it was just as important to him that Jane Rizzoli knew he was a man of honor, as it was for his own daughter to know. He suspected that this would not be the last time he and Rizzoli crossed paths and he wanted to have an understanding with her.

After hanging up the phone, Jane looked deeply at Maura, "I do think he loves you." Jane was beginning to have some level of respect for Doyle and that worried her. She had to remind herself that Doyle was a notorious mobster who had personally killed several people. _People that were low life scum that society was better off without anyway, _Jane internally rationalized.

"It doesn't mean I have to love him back," Maura explained as she returned Jane's intense gaze.

The moment was interrupted when Angela noticed the broken door. Jane immediately blamed it on Tommy and he was smart enough to play along. Jane had her fill of Tommy's smugness over the weekend and she was ready to take him down a peg right in front of Maura. She walked over to the chess board, took the queen from Maura's side of the board and checkmated Tommy's king. Maura was incredibly surprised at the move, "you know how to play chess?"

"Yeah, who do you think taught him?" Jane said with her low raspy voice. She thoroughly enjoyed the look she received from both Maura and Tommy. _That'll teach ya little brother!_ "Tommy's not the only Rizzoli with a beautiful mind." She gave Maura a sideways glance and smile before walking away.

"Jane, come help me take all this stuff over to the guest house, will ya? I gotta get it all returned tomorrow." Angela yelled from the kitchen, referring to all the misappropriated hotel items. Jane walked over and grabbed the suitcase to carry it out. "Although, it'd be a shame to return the robe…..it's sooo lush!" Angela held it out at arm's length again as she walked out of Maura's. Jane rolled her eyes and sighed as she followed her mother out the door.

"See you guys tomorrow, I gotta get home and let Jo Friday out." She shouted back at Tommy and Maura who were just beginning to put away the pieces to the chess game. Jane thought about staying at Maura's longer in hopes that an opening would arise to talk about the moment between them. But now, Jane had started to doubt that the so called moment even happened. She rationalized that maybe she just imagined the whole thing…imagined the look of desire on Maura's face, imagined that Maura almost kissed her. She was, after all, pretty fatigued so it was quite possible that her mind had played tricks on her. She quickly decided that now was not a good time to deal with it….she was too tired and her pesky little brother was still around.

They entered the guest house and Jane placed the suitcase on the table. "Alright Ma, I'm outta here." Jane leaned over and gave her mom a quick peck on the cheek. Realizing she forgot something Jane cursed in frustration, "damn, forgot my stupid certificate." She ran out of the guest house and back towards Maura's. "See ya later Ma," Jane yelled back as she left.

Jane dashed back into Maura's house through the same door she went out but stopped cold at the sight before her…..Tommy and Maura kissing. Jane's eyes pooled with unabashed rage. Her vision narrowed as the adrenaline rush coursed through her veins. Jane instantly recognized the phenomena….tunnel vision. Fists clenched tightly by her side, Jane fought desperately against her feral instinct to attack…..to fight…to lash out. Instead, she did the only safe, controlled response she could….she turned around and left.

Maura pulled away from Tommy so fast she nearly fell down backwards. Realizing that Jane had seen what happened, she went into full panic mode and chased after Jane. "Jane! Jane! Wait please! Stop! Listen to me! Jane continued to ignore Maura's shouts as she reached for the door handle to her unmarked cruiser.

When Maura realized that Jane was ignoring her and wasn't going to stop, Maura became increasingly desperate. She had to say _something_ that would make Jane stop…..something to make her turn around and listen…..something that would give her a chance to explain. "I know that you love me!" _That worked_….. Jane stopped her movement but did not turn around. Maura was grateful to have Jane's attention so she continued. "The morning after Ian left…when you went to leave…I heard you…..I heard everything."

Jane cringed at the mention of Ian's name. She could barely hear Maura's words above her heart beat pulsing in her ears. She didn't realize she had been holding her breath until she felt her lungs scream from lack of oxygen.

"Jane, please give me a chance to explain." Tears were now flowing freely down Maura's cheeks. "I know you love me…..please?"

Jane turned around slowly and met Maura's eyes. Maura couldn't help but gasp as she saw the cold, steely look on Jane's face and for a moment, it actually frightened her. With lightning speed, Jane closed the distance between them and stood mere inches from Maura's face. "Things change," Jane said slowly and deliberately. Her eyes were like hot coals burning through Maura's core…..it left Maura speechless. After the briefest of moments, Jane spun back around, climbed in her car, and squealed the cruiser's tires as she drove away. She left Maura standing there frozen to the ground.

Maura felt as if she had been standing in the same spot for eternity, although it had only been several minutes. She was utterly devastated. The one person she relied on….. the one person that accepted her unconditionally..…. the one person who truly held her heart…..was gone. Maura began to hyperventilate from anxiety. She pressed her fingers to the pulse point in her neck and realized her heart rate was past its maximum range. She began taking deep breaths in an attempt to alleviate the stress and lower her heart beat. Moments later, she was able to calm her breathing down enough to return inside. As she entered the door, she saw Tommy sitting in the same spot as when she had left. "Tommy, what were you thinking? Do you have any idea what you've done?" Maura stood in front of Tommy but kept several feet of distance between them. Tommy had kissed Maura without her permission or for that matter…recognition. Maura didn't realize what he was planning until his lips were on hers. The act had caught her completely off guard. They had been simply picking up the chess pieces. When Maura bent down to pick up the chess board to fold it and replace it in its box, Tommy extended his neck out and captured her lips. Maura was sure that from Jane's perspective, it looked as if Maura had bent down to kiss Tommy.

"Maura, I'm sorry….I, uh.…it just happened. I thought we were kinda hitting it off…..I mean, I'm attracted to you….I thought you were flirting with me too, ya know? I don't understand…..what's the problem? Nothing's going on between you and Jane… Jane is seeing that Lisa girl….I'm single, you're single…..I guess I'm not seeing why it's a big deal." Tommy wasn't grasping why Maura was so freaked out.

"Tommy, it's a 'big deal', as you say, because _you_ are Jane's brother! I know Jane feels as if I have betrayed her! I would think the same thing if I were her. She won't even talk to me!" Maura stood in the middle of the room with her arms crossed. She was greatly exasperated at Tommy's lack of concern. She started to tear up again.

Tommy closed the distance between them, reached up and placed his hands on Maura's upper arms. "Maura, look…why does that matter? Jane has no right to tell you who you can and cannot be with….brother or not. If we are attracted to each other, then we have a right to be together." Tommy was becoming pissed off at Jane. Ever since they were kids, she tried to control everything and everybody. His eldest sibling had never really trusted him….not that he gave her good reason to… but he was tired of living in Jane's shadow….tired of Jane being the boss of everyone…..tired of Jane. He thought about Jane embarrassing him in front of Maura earlier with the chess game. Then he smugly thought of Jane witnessing the kiss between Maura and him… _right back at ya sis! _

"Tommy! No! I'm sorry….I can't. Yes, I do think you are attractive but I have feelings for Jane….feelings that go beyond friendship…...I just haven't said anything to her about it yet. Don't you see? I can't have anything with you because I am in love with Jane!" Maura almost included that even without being in love with Jane, her and Tommy would never be more than at most, a one night stand, but she decided to spare his ego.

"You gotta be kidding me, right? _ You're_ in love with Jane? Un….freaking…believable!" Tommy released Maura's arms and threw his own up in exasperation. Tommy was furious at Jane. Once again, she gets the best of everything. "You do realize that she is with someone else, right? If I know one thing about my sis…she's not a cheater….she won't be with Lisa and you too….and if she has already started to feel for Lisa…..well, I think that will leave you out in the cold…..especially after this." Tommy hated to be so blunt and sound so cold but the facts were the facts. Betrayal is not something Jane will forgive and overcome. Even though it wasn't Maura who started the kiss, she didn't exactly pull away either….until she realized Jane had returned.

"I think it's time you leave Tommy….I have no desire to discuss this any further with you." Maura was outraged at Tommy's comments. _How dare he? Who does he think he is?_ As angry as Maura was now at Tommy, she didn't trust herself to open her mouth any further. Even though Maura believed that whatever horrible words she was tempted to say to him would have been justified, he was still Jane's brother and she refrained out of respect for Jane…..and Angela.

Tommy glared at Maura, grabbed his keys, and walked out of the already damaged door, slamming it. The force caused more of the door frame to crack and splinter.

**Going Under (Evanescence)**

Jane drove faster and faster, not really caring that she was being a bit reckless. She tried to still the anger inside but to no avail. She replayed Maura's words again in her head. So…. Maura had heard her…knew Jane was in love with her…..all this time for the past several months….and yet, never said a word about it. She couldn't help but feel foolish, like she had been played. In all these months, not once did Maura attempt to talk to her about it…not once did Maura acknowledge that she knew…not once did Maura ever give any indication that Jane's feelings were reciprocated.

She picked up her phone and dialed Lisa. Lisa answered on the second ring, "well hey there, long day, huh?"

"You have noooo idea," Jane's voice was hoarse from the stress and exhaustion of the day. "Can I come over?" Jane was too tired and too angry to do anymore thinking. She didn't want to think about work, she didn't want to think about Maura and Tommy…..no, she had done enough thinking for awhile.

"Of course, I would love to see you. By the way, you sound completely exhausted. Is there anything you'll need when you get here…like dinner or a drink? If so, I'll have it ready for you when you arrive." Although Lisa didn't know details, she knew that Jane had probably had a rough couple of days and she wanted to do what she could to help.

Jane smiled at the thoughtfulness in Lisa's offer, "Nope, just you….that would be perfect."

"Well, alright," Lisa's voice was soft, sexy, and soothing to Jane's ears. "Then _I _will be ready for you when you get here." Lisa allowed the double meaning to linger.

There was a long pause on the line as Jane processed Lisa's words. _This woman really is pretty wonderful_, Jane thought to herself. "I'm stopping by my place first to take care of Jo and grab a few things and then I'll be on my way."

"Okay, and if you want, why don't you just bring Jo with you? I doubt the poor little thing wants to be left all alone again after you just get home. Plus, I really like her and wouldn't mind seeing her too." Lisa explained.

Jane couldn't help but release a small laugh, in spite of the bad mood she was in. "You got it….see you in a few." With that, Jane hung up her phone as she pulled into the parking space in front of her apartment building.

Jane entered her apartment and was immediately greeted by Jo Friday. She bent down and picked up the little dog who shook and gave her kisses everywhere her little tongue could reach. Jane laughed at Jo's excitement and thought what she wouldn't give to trade places with Jo sometimes. "Heya girl, I missed you too…wanna go stay with a hot blonde at her house tonight?"

Jane's blood was still boiling from everything that happened at Maura's. She wanted to rid her body of the anger she felt inside before it was inadvertently released on an innocent party….namely Lisa. After feeding and walking Jo Friday, Jane changed into a pair of shorts and sports bra before standing in front of her life size workout bag. She put on her boxing gloves and went to work on the bag. Although her body had been screaming for rest, it had found its second wind, fueled by the rage pumping through her system. She started off rather slowly with simple jab/cross combinations to the bag's face. The feel of her fists striking the hard surface of the bag felt good to Jane so she quickly added a hook/ uppercut combo. Her skin started to glisten with sweat as she increased her speed. She added kicks with her punches…..jab, cross, sidekick…..hook, uppercut, front kick…hammer fist, roundhouse kick. With each strike of the bag, a vision would flash in her mind's eye. _Punch_…Maura telling Jane that Ian was the love of her life….._Kick, _Jane whispering that she loved Maura the morning she left….._Punch, Punch, _Maura almost kissing her…._Kick, Punch….._Jane telling Maura not to sleep with her brother….._ Punch, Kick, Punch …_….Maura confessing that she knew Jane loved her_…Punch, Punch, Punch, Spin, Kick_….Maura kissing Tommy. Jane struck the bag so hard on the last combination, it nearly came off its hinges. She stood there in a pool of sweat and waited for her heart rate to slow down and rapid breathing to subside. She was done, she'd had enough….enough of the job…enough of Tommy…..enough of Maura. She welcomed the internal emotional numbness that inevitably followed after she released her anger.

Jane hadn't always been able to release her anger in such a healthy, productive manner. In the not too distance past, her anger would've equated to some form of self destructive behavior such as fists through walls, heavy drinking, unnecessary risk taking, etc. At least now, she provided herself a safe outlet for her anger that did much less harm to her body.

After her all out thirty minute Kenpo Karate session, Jane took a quick shower, gathered some clothes and Jo and headed to Lisa's place.

Jane arrived and was greeted at the door by Lisa wearing a silky black robe and sexy smile. She had her hair up in a loose ponytail with small strands dangling on each side of her face. Jane thought it was one of the most sensuous things she had ever seen. As Jane entered, she was handed an ice cold beer and given a soft kiss to the lips. Jo Friday busied herself with running around to explore the new territory.

"Come with me," Lisa held out her hand for Jane to take. Their fingers entwined, Lisa led Jane to the master bathroom and opened the door. The room glowed softly as candlelight danced and flickered throughout the large open space. The jetted oval bathtub on the far side of the room was filled with bubbles that smelled of gardenia and was surrounded by white tea light candles on all sides of its edge. Beside the tub, and hanging on an antique rack that stood independently in a corner, were a thick white terry cloth robe and a pair of matching slippers. It was the epitome of relaxation and Jane could hardly believe that Lisa could truly be this thoughtful and giving. "Get undressed and get in, I'll be back in a minute." Lisa directed as Jane turned to kiss her in thanks for such a wonderful surprise. Jane did as instructed and undressed. She slipped slowly into the garden tub, allowing her skin a chance to get acclimated to the hot water. She took a swig of her beer, leaned her head back and closed her eyes. This was exactly what she needed and it felt unbelievably wonderful. Moments later, Jane could hear soft low spa music playing through the intercom system in the bathroom. Lisa returned and stood by the tub as Jane opened her eyes to glance up at her. With eyes locked on one another, Lisa untied the belt to her black robe and allowed it to drop to the floor. Emitting an elegance that impressed Jane, Lisa entered the tub and slipped smoothly into Jane's arms, resting her back against Jane's chest. Jane instantly wrapped her arms around Lisa and placed soft kisses to her neck and shoulder.

"How's this?" Lisa whispered softly as her head tilted back and rested against Jane's right shoulder.

"Hmmm…..absolutely perfect," Jane mumbled as she continued to kiss up Lisa's neck to her ear. "I really needed this…..I just didn't know it." Jane whispered in her ear. "Thank you."

Lisa moaned softly as Jane traced small circles with her tongue around the edges of Lisa's ear. "You're welcome. I wanted you to have a soft landing for your hard day." Lisa explained with a small smile that played around the corners of her mouth. Although Jane was often mysterious and elusive, Lisa was rapidly developing strong feelings for the guarded detective. She just wished that Jane would open up to her more, allow her in further. Lisa hoped in time, Jane would be comfortable enough with her to lower some of the walls and allow her to get close. Until that time, Lisa was content enough and patient enough to let things flow at the speed they were going.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** Don't own R & I and not for profit. Although some of the information about the Kennedys in this chapter is accurate, Lisa Kennedy is a fictional character made up in my mind and is in no way associated with the real Kennedy family.

**A/N**: According to the show, Maura went to Boston Cambridge University. Since there is no such place, I decided that in my FF, she went to Harvard instead. I am posting both Chapters 7 and 8 today. As always, I'm immensely grateful to all who have reviewed and very much appreciate future reviews. Hope you enjoy..…

PS: Had a little technical difficult tonight with loading the chapters...my apologies. Also, I just noticed that anytime I used Italics that the words were running together even though there were spaces between them before I uploaded. Wish I would've caught it earlier...things like that drive me crazy :-)

Chapter 7: **Distance (Christina Perri) **

Korsak walked down to the Division One café to grab a cup of coffee and talk with Angela. He had noticed….._everybody _had noticed… that Jane and Maura were not speaking. It had been over a week and they still were not speaking. Frankly, he was over it…..one way or another, this had to stop because the tension was driving him crazy. When he would ask Jane about it, she refused to talk, telling him it was none of his business. When he would go down to the morgue to ask Maura what was going on, she would instantly get upset, start to cry, and leave the room. Something had to give. He realized that he wasn't a woman and, therefore, not really in tune with their emotions but the estrogen around the place from all the turmoil was driving him to drink…..more than he already did! He was a problem solver….that's what he did…..so he was damn well going to figure out a way to solve this particular problem too. He decided to enlist Angela's help and wanted to bounce his thoughts off of her.

"Angela, what the heck is wrong with Jane and Dr. Isles? I realize things have been rough with them for awhile now but this has gotten way out of hand! Frost and I can't take it anymore! There has got to be a way to fix it. Jane refuses to even go near the morgue. Luckily, there hasn't been a homicide in the last week or I would really be scre….um, I mean in a pickle." He didn't like to use foul language in front of a lady….especially Angela Rizzoli. He hoped one day he would get up enough nerve to ask her out to dinner or a cup of coffee or something.

"I know…. Jane won't talk to me about it either. If you ask me, I think it has to do with that Lisa woman…._who_ by the way, I haven't even met yet." She poured them each a fresh cup of coffee before returning the pot to the burner. She then sat down across from Korsak. "Maybe Dr. Isles has started to realize that she likes Jane as more than just a friend but this Lisa is in the way. You know Vince….girls can be funny sometimes in their emotions."

"Tell me about it…that's an understatement!" Korsak said while rolling his eyes. "But if what you say is true… if Lisa has driven a wedge between them… why wouldn't Jane just end it with Lisa? I mean, after all that Jane and Dr. Isles have been through, I would think Jane would choose her hands down."

"Well, I wish I could answer that but who knows." Angela said while shrugging her shoulders. "I just don't understand the younger generation….they are so complicated!"

Korsak shook his head in agreement. "So, you got any ideas about what we can do…to help fix this?" At this point, Korsak would try just about anything.

"Not really… although…hmmm," Angela paused as if she just got an idea.

"What?" Korsak wanted to know what light bulb just went off in Angela's head.

Angela suddenly felt inspired. "Vince…..I think it's time that I meet this Lisa….tomorrow night in fact. Are you free?" Angela wanted Korsak there for support…plus she secretly kind of liked him…..in a non friendly sort of way and wished he would ask her out to dinner or coffee, or well… something.

"Yeah, I'm free…whatcha have in mind? Korsak's curiosity had been peaked.

"Don't worry…...I'll give ya the details for your part later…..just leave the rest to me…be at Jane's apartment at seven o'clock tomorrow night….sharp." Angela started to get very excited about her plans. "I'm going to invite Frankie and Tommy also."

Jane was sitting at her desk typing away on her computer when her office phone rang. "Boston Homicide, Rizzoli." Jane answered in a monotone voice. It was her mother…._damn_! She wished she had caller ID on her work phone. "Hi Ma…What's up?"

"Jane, I've decided to make dinner at your apartment tomorrow night for you and the boys. Frankie has an off day tomorrow and we hardly ever have a chance to get together anymore as a family." Angela decided this was a good pretense to get Jane to agree to the idea. For effect, she added a little extra whining in there so Jane would feel guilty if she tried to refuse the offer.

"Is Tommy coming?" Jane had no desire to be around her low life….good for nothing…

Jane's thoughts of her brother were interrupted by Angela's answer. "Of course he is dear, he's your brother isn't he? Why wouldn't he be there?" Angela thought Jane's question was ridiculous.

"No reason Ma, never mind." Jane would rather chew on rusted nails than explain to her mother what was going on between her and Tommy. So, she would just have to deal with it somehow.

"Oh….and please invite Lisa….I would like to finally meet her Jane and I'm sure your brothers feel the same." For Angela's idea to even have a chance, Lisa had to be present.

"Fine Ma….I gotta go….I got work to do." _Well_, Jane thought…._I did say it was time for the family to meet Lisa so…. no time like the present. _Jane immediately called Lisa after hanging up with her mother. After confirming that Lisa was good with the plan, Jane hung up and returned to her typing.

**Gravity (Sara Bareilles)**

_Next day…._

When Jane arrived home from work, Frankie and Angela were already there. Frankie was sitting on the sofa watching TV and drinking a beer. "Heya little brother, how's it going?" She reached over the back of the sofa and ruffled his hair. He jerked his head away. Frankie hated that his big sis still treated him like he was five sometimes. "Damn Ma, something smells good, Manicotti?" Jane asked as she opened the refrigerator and grabbed a beer for herself. She looked around and didn't see Tommy…..she was holding out hope that he couldn't make it.

"Jane….watch your language…..and yes it's Manicotti." Angela said as she hit Jane on the leg with a dish towel.

Jane looked at Frankie in confusion, "What'd I say?" Frankie just shrugged his shoulders and went back to watching television.

"Where's Lisa?" Angela wanted to confirm that nothing had changed and she was still coming.

"She's running a little bit late…she got caught up at the office at the last minute." Just as Jane was explaining this to her mother, there was a knock on the door. "That's probably her now." Jane opened the door to find Korsak….._and_ Maura standing in the doorway. _Holy shit!_ Jane spun around and looked at her mother directly in the eye with a pointed _what the hell Ma!_

"Well, are ya just gonna stand there or are ya gonna let us come in?" Korsak couldn't help but be amused at the surprised look on Jane's face. However, he hoped for his sake that Jane never,…..ever,..….found out that he had any part of this diabolical plan…..ever.

Jane stepped aside so Korsak and Maura could enter. As Maura walked in, she looked at Jane but stopped short of making direct eye contact with her. She handed Jane a nice bottle of merlot without saying a word.

Jane reached out her hand and took the offered wine, muttering "thank you" as her only response. She watched as Maura went over to greet Frankie and Angela and noticed that she looked beautiful as always. But the hurt and anger she felt towards Maura quickly snapped back into place. She turned and gave Korsak a hard look, who decided at that very moment to start picking imaginary lint off of his tie. She barely got the door closed before there was another knock. She opened the door to now find Lisa standing in the doorway. _Maybe she should just kill herself now….._

"Hey gorgeous," Lisa walked in and gave Jane a kiss on the lips. She too had a bottle of wine in her hand. Jane, still holding the bottle from Maura, now reached out to receive Lisa's bottle. _Good grief!_

Maura couldn't help but watch as Lisa entered Jane's apartment. She had to turn away though, when she realized Lisa was about to kiss Jane. _What in the world am I doing here? How did I let Korsak talk me into this?_ Right then and there, she had the overwhelming desire to become invisible and slip out the door.

Jane looked at Frankie…..Frankie looked at Jane…._please help me, _Jane pleaded with her brother with her eyes.

Frankie stood up and asserted himself. "Everyone, allow me to make the introductions. Ah….Lisa… hi….I'm Frankie, Jane's brother." Frankie walked over and shook Lisa's hand before continuing. "Ya know Korsak." Korsak and Lisa nodded their heads in greeting. "I believe you've also met Dr. Isles." He gestured towards Maura.

"Yes… briefly, during the Merch trial I believe….. nice to see you again Dr. Isles." Lisa said as she shook Maura's hand. She could've imagined it but she thought Dr. Isles grip seemed awfully tense. Maura spoke not a word….just simply nodded.

"And this is our Ma, Angela." Frankie finished with the last introduction. "Our brother Tommy is running late….as always." He explained to Lisa as he rolled his eyes. Lisa couldn't help but release a small laugh. She just knew that she was going to like Frankie.

"Very nice to meet you." Angela said as she took Lisa's hand. She eyed Lisa up and down while giving her the once over. Hmmm, Angela thought to herself….. Lisa's build and hair were similar to _Dr. Isles_…Lisa dressed extravagantly, _like Dr. Isles….._Lisa held a prominent professional position in Boston, _also like Dr. Isles…..interesting….._Angela was very interested to find out if there were more similarities between Lisa and Dr. Isles. Her motherly instincts told her there were…..

"So, Ms. Kennedy, tell me, are you in any way related to the famous Kennedys of our area?" Angela asked.

"Please…. call me Lisa," she said with a smile. She dreaded answering Angela Rizzoli's question but she really had no choice. "…..and yes, actually I am. My father is Joseph Patrick Kennedy the second."

Lisa's response caused Jane to look up in surprise…she had no idea. _How has this not come up in conversation yet? _Because you never asked Rizzoli! She inwardly cursed herself.

_Sooooo_…..Lisa comes from a wealthy and influential family as well…also _like Dr. Isles_, check! Angela decided to press for more information. She raised her eyebrows in expectation for Lisa to continue.

Realizing that Angela was looking for more information, Lisa continued, "I'm the oldest…..and at the time….the illegitimate child of him and Sheila Brewster Rauch. I was born in 1976 but my parents weren't actually married until 1979. I have two younger twin brothers, Matt and Joe."

Jane quietly contemplated the family similarities between herself and Lisa…..both were the oldest of three children and the only female….both had younger brothers. Yes, there families were similar….…._except for the fact that Lisa came from a famous family dynasty…..….who are powerful…..…. politically influential….and very rich….Nope, never mind, families not alike at all!_

Angela continued, "So, um, Lisa, where did you go for your college education?" Angela just knew it was going to be an Ivy League university….

"I graduated from Harvard Law School," Lisa answered.

A mother's intuition is _always_ correct, Angela thought smugly. Harvard University huh?...just like…..…_wait for it_…..….._wait for it_…_Dr. Isles_! In just mere minutes, Angela discovered that though Lisa was beautiful, smart, successful, _and_ nice…..she, unfortunately was just a substitute for the original… for the one that Jane, her Jane, really wanted. Now, she just had to figure out a way to….. one, get Jane to realize it…two, get Dr. Isles to realize it… and three, get Jane and Dr. Isles together once and for all.  
>Angela knew that getting Jane and Dr. Isles to finally admit their feelings for one another and be together was not only what was best for them….it was what was best for everyone around them! They were driving everyone mad with all the pushpull they did constantly! Angela decided it was high time that all of this craziness ended once and for all!

Another knock at the door….Frankie went and answered it this time. It was Tommy.

Jane looked up….._just when I thought it couldn't possibly get any worse._ Jane was certain that she was currently paying dearly for every misdeed she had ever done in her life and that the angels of heaven and hell were laughing hysterically at the moment…..

After Frankie introduced Tommy to Lisa, Tommy glanced over at Maura but she refused to look, or for that matter, speak to him. This did not go unnoticed by Jane, who was confused by Maura's body language.

At the first chance Jane got, she grabbed Frankie by the arm and pulled him into the guest bathroom. "What the hell is going on?"

"Why ya asking me? I'm as surprised as you are….I had nothing to do this Janie." He said with his hands up in mock surrender. Whoever was responsible for this plan, Frankie knew he would've never touched it with a ten foot pole. As soon as Jane had confided in him that she witnessed Maura and Tommy kissing, he didn't expect to see his siblings in the same room together in like maybe…forever. Not to mention that _nnnoowww,_ Lisa and Maura were also in the same room together. He felt really, really bad for his sister.

"So what am I gonna do? This is ridiculous!" Jane said as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Well, I guess you could just go with the flow and see how it all turns out. Who knows….maybe everybody, including you, will get along and it'll be okay." Frankie didn't believe it for a second but he said what he could to try and make Jane fell better.

Jane looked at him like he just grew two more heads. "You know what….your right….I'm sure that we can all just be _one_ _big happy family_! Hey…..I know…why don't we just have a double wedding? Me and Lisa and Tommy and Maura…..wouldn't that be just _swell_!" Jane sarcastically mocked her baby brother.

Angela knocked on the bathroom door. "Jane and Frankie, what in the world are you two doing in there? You're being rude to our guests! It's dinner time…..now get out here!"

Jane rolled her eyes and took one last look at her brother before she opened the door and accepted her fate.

Angela placed the manicotti, salads and other trimmings on the table as everyone took their seats. Lisa sat next to Jane and… as Jane's luck continued for the evening, Maura sat directly across from them. _Well isn't this just cozy_…Jane downed another beer. She started to wonder how quickly she could get drunk and pass out. Everyone was eating in silence until Angela decided to break it.

"So, Lisa, did you ever run into Dr. Isles while you were at Harvard? Ya know…..she graduated from there also… probably around the same time as you I would think….seeing as both of you _are_ about the same age and everything. It's a small world isn't? The senior Rizzoli began.

_Ma... don't…_Jane warned with her eyes.

Angela continued however, "I mean….what are the odds that my Janie here would be romantically involved with one Harvard graduate and best friends with another?"

_That _question caused Maura to look at Angela, Angela to look at Jane, Jane to look at her plate of Manicotti as she stabbed it violently with her fork. _Here we go_….

"No….sorry," Lisa looked over at Maura as she replied to Angela's questions. "I'm afraid we never met in college…and well, I guess it _is _quite a coincidence that Jane's two favorite gals went to the same university…..I guess that just means she has great taste in women." She winked at Maura who politely smiled in return.

After dinner, everyone sat around either in the dining room or the living room engrossed in their own independent conversations. As Jane went to her bedroom to change her manicotti stained shirt, she thought that maybe….. just maybe…. she would get out of this evening without any fireworks. She knew it would be a miracle but it was one she very much hoped for. After changing her shirt, Jane walked out of her bedroom, down the hall, and smack into Maura who was headed to the guest bathroom. Their eyes locked onto one another. They both stepped in the same direction and then back again in an attempt to maneuver around one another. Finally, Jane hugged the wall with her back, giving way to Maura. As Maura moved past her, both were painfully aware of the physical closeness of their bodies. "Oops…sorry," was all Jane could muster out as she braced against the wall. Maura smiled a weak smile in return. She was at a loss as to what to say to Jane and frankly, she was trying her best not to break down in front of her. The invisible electrical current between them overwhelmed their senses. Maura suddenly freed herself from the magnetic force and dashed into the bathroom. Jane stood there a moment longer staring at the now empty hallway. _I can't take this anymore…I have to fix it somehow,_ Jane thought to herself. She returned to the gathering and went and sat beside Lisa on the sofa, who, in turn, placed her hand on Jane's thigh.

Moments later, Maura returned to the living room. Her eyes immediately fixated on Lisa's hand resting on Jane's thigh. _It's not fair that she gets to touch Jane anyway and anytime she wants, _Maura inwardly fumed…_but I can decide not to torture myself any further by watching it._ Maura made the abrupt decision to leave. She quickly grabbed her purse, thanked Angela for dinner, and said quick goodbyes to everyone else. Her excuse for leaving so soon was that she had an early day at work tomorrow. Maura walked out the door. Jane looked over at Lisa in slight hesitation before deciding to follow Maura out the door and down the stairs. Angela and Korsak watched Jane go after Maura before making knowing eye contact with each other, relieved that their plan appeared to be working. At least they were going to talk now…

"Maur, hold on a sec…wait up!" Jane shouted.

Maura stopped and turned around to see Jane approaching. She couldn't help the mist that formed in her eyes. Jane stopped when she got within a couple of feet of her. Jane was close enough to see that Maura was fighting back tears…which softened her defenses. She stood there for a moment staring into Maura's eyes before she spoke. She had so much to say to her but suddenly couldn't find the words. "Thanks for the wine." That's not how Jane imagined starting the conversation off but at least she said _something._

"You're welcome." Maura's voice was shaking as she responded.

Jane sighed. "Look Maur, I don't want to do this anymore, ok? I'm sorry that I stormed out on you after I saw you and Tommy kiss. I have no right to dictate to you who you can and cannot be with….I was a jerk. I miss my best friend, ya know?" Jane's words caused Maura to let the tears flow. Jane's eyes also became moist and her throat constricted as she fought her own release of tears. "I miss you….. not being a part of my life…I wanna fix it…please? I don't care if you and Tommy end up together…I just need my best friend back, ok?" Jane longed to touch Maura but didn't trust herself at the moment. She was feeling exceptionally raw and exposed…. deathly afraid that she wouldn't be able to hold back and control her feelings if she did touch her. "So, can we move past all of this and go back to being best friends…..please?"

Maura allowed Jane's words to flow through her. _She just wants me as her best friend…..nothing more._ _She's really not in love with me anymore…I'm too late…._

"Jane, Tommy and I are not together….. nor will we end up together." Maura really needed to make this perfectly clear to her.

_Well then, why were you kissing him? _Jane thought to herself. _Leave it along Rizzoli…..it's not important. _"Okay, okay, whatever…either way…it doesn't matter anymore to me. I'm gonna support you no matter what, ok? I'm going back to being the best friend you deserve."

Maura continued to look down at her feet as she wiped the tears from her eyes. She remained quiet.

"Are we good? Are we ok?" Jane ducked and lowered her head to capture Maura's eyes and then visually raised Maura's head up so she could maintain eye contact between them.

Maura finally raised her head and met Jane's gaze. "Yes Jane, we're good…..I very much wish to move past all of this…I miss our friendship."

Jane released a deep breath….._Thank God_! "Wanna come back inside?" Jane offered.

"No, no thank you…..I really am very tired and would like to just go home." Maura omitted that she just couldn't stomach anymore Lisa and Jane moments.

Jane was slightly disappointed. "Oh…..well, okay…careful going home….see ya tomorrow?"

Maura nodded as she spoke, "I will….and yes…..see you tomorrow. Good night Jane."

Jane watched as Maura got into her car and pulled away. She then turned around and headed back up to her apartment. Even though she felt better that she had made peace with Maura, her heart still ached for other reasons she chose to deny. _Get over it Rizzoli!_

When Jane walked back into her apartment, everyone seemed to be wrapping it up and saying goodnight. She overheard her mother telling Lisa that it had been nice meeting her.

Frankie walked over to Jane and touched her arm…"you ok?"

Jane turned her gaze towards him and shook her head. "Yeah, Yeah…..I'm good…..thanks Frankie…..for everything." Jane believed that Frankie was the best brother anyone could ever hope for…. and more than made up for having another brother like Tommy.

"See ya tomorrow Jane." Korsak said as he walked out the door, followed by Frankie, Tommy, and their mother. Jane didn't bother to acknowledge Tommy as he walked past her. That left her and Lisa alone, standing in the middle of the room. Jane didn't like the look she saw on Lisa's face and knew that a very uncomfortable conversation was looming on the horizon.

Lisa's innate directness once again presented itself. She looked hard into Jane's eyes before she spoke. "Care to share what's going on between you and Maura Isles?"

Jane stood there in silence for a moment wondering just how much, if any, she should tell Lisa.

"I thought that the two of you were just friends." Lisa continued with eyebrow arched.

Jane remained silent a moment longer before responding. "We are."

"Really? Hmmm…..well, it sure doesn't seem that way. It seems an awful lot like jilted lovers going at it. What gives?" Lisa was trying to remain calm as she spoke but when Jane didn't respond, her frustration grew. "Jane? I need to know where you're at emotionally…..okay? Is it with me or is it with Maura? Because….I'm starting to fall for you…so, if I need to walk away…let me know now. It'll still hurt… but it's going to hurt me a lot more later…. if I continue to fall in love with you…only to have you leave me for Maura in the end."

In frustration, Jane ran her fingers through her long raven tresses and sighed. "Honestly Lisa…I don't know where I'm at." Jane finally answered in exasperation. She was so confused and conflicted.

There was a long pause between them as they continued to stare at each other "I see...…well then, how bout you call me _if_ and _when_ you figure it all out." Tears welled up in Lisa's eyes. "I may or may not still be here." With that, Lisa gathered her stuff and left.

Jane stared at the closed door. _Fuck me!_


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: **Set Fire to the Rain (Adele)**

Jane and Lisa had not spoken to each other in three days. So when she received a call from Lisa requesting a meeting at her office, Jane knew from the tone of Lisa's voice that the call was business and not personal. Therefore, she decided to bring her partner along. Plus, they had just come from conducting follow up on a cold case they were working in their spare time….as if they ever really had spare time….and Lisa's office was on the way back to headquarters. Jane and Frost entered the District Attorney's Office and walked up to the receptionist.

"Good afternoon, may I help you?" The receptionist ceased her typing on the computer and acknowledged Jane and Frost.

"Hi, I'm Detective Rizzoli and this is Detective Frost, Boston Homicide. We're here to see Lisa Kennedy. She's expecting us." Jane said as she and Frost flashed their badges.

"Yes, of course, one moment detectives." The receptionist dialed Lisa Kennedy's extension and informed her of her visitors before directing her attention back to Jane and Frost. "Ms. Kennedy will be right with you."

Moments later, Lisa arrived at the front lobby and escorted Jane and Frost back to her office. Almost from the first moment they started dating, Jane and Lisa had an understanding with each other that when they were at work dealing with business, they were consummate professionals and their personal life was to be kept separate from that business. However, as Jane was about to find out, sometimes the line between personal and business can get blurry.

Jane and Frost sat down in Lisa's office as Lisa took a seat behind her desk. "So what's this about?" Jane wasn't one for having a lot of patience, especially when it came to work matters.

Lisa made eye contact with Jane before dropping a bombshell, "We have Paddy Doyle…..he's in custody." Lisa Kennedy held Jane's gaze intently.

"Wha…..what? How?" Jane couldn't believe her ears. No one has ever been able to get Doyle. For forty years, he has eluded and evaded every possible attempt at capture and arrest.

"Believe it or not, it all started with a traffic stop by a sharp-eyed beat cop. After you put the BOLO out on Doyle, every cop across the New England seaboard was trying to locate him. His driver was stupid enough to run a red light at the wrong place at the wrong time. They didn't try to run….probably figured the cop would have no idea what Paddy Doyle looked like. We have enough right now to hold him for aggravated assault for his attack on Sutton and then more charges are coming his way." Lisa glowed as she told the story. She knew that Paddy Doyle was her ace…. the ace that would put her in the seat of the District Attorney of Boston in the next election. There was no way in hell she would allow anything less than perfection on this case and subsequent trial.

"What'da mean more charges coming?" Frost spoke up for the first time as Jane sat processing the information that Lisa had just spewed out.

Lisa turned to Frost. "We've had a mole in Doyle's organization for the last year. It was a highly classified joint operation with the feds….only a handful of people knew about it. After Doyle's right hand man was murdered and Doyle was shot, it was time to pull the mole. We have enough direct evidence to put Doyle and his top goons away for the rest of their lives." Lisa closely monitored Jane's reaction to all of the information she was giving them. She dreaded having to do what she was about to do.

"So why let us know about all this now? What do you need from us?" Frost shrugged his shoulders and tried to understand but couldn't help but be irritated that Boston Homicide had been kept in the dark on this.

"Well, Boston Homicide….Jane…..investigated the death of Melissa Joy Black at the docks, which started this whole ball rolling." She returned her gaze to Jane. "You saving Sutton from certain death and witnessing Doyle leave the scene is key to holding him for the aggravated assault charge until we can get all of the other indictments drawn up."

Jane had remained quiet throughout Lisa's story and was careful to keep her face stoic as she processed all of the information. _Oh God!_ _What did this mean for Maura? _

As if she could read Jane's thoughts, Lisa addressed Frost, "Detective Frost? Would you mind stepping out for a moment so I may have a word with Jane alone?" Lisa asked in her professional tone.

"Uh…sure, sure." The tension in the air was palpable. Frost's eyebrows wrinkled in confusion as he looked over at Jane. Somehow, he just knew that whatever was about to be said was not going to be good and had nothing to do with whispering sweet nothings to each other. Jane nodded her head to Frost telling him it was okay to leave. He rose from his chair and stepped out the door.

As soon as Frost left, Lisa got up and walked around her desk. She was the epitome of professionalism in her navy skirt and matching blazer over a nicely tailored white dress shirt. She leaned on the front of her desk and faced Jane who was still seated. Lisa had her arms crossed in front of her as she stared quietly at Jane before she spoke. "Why didn't you tell me that Maura Isles was the biological daughter of Paddy Doyle? You seemed to have omitted that detail from your case file."

"How did you find out?" Jane had her own questions. She tried to hide the fact that her heart had just jumped up into her throat.

Lisa tilted her head sideways in a manner that could only be described as cocky. "You first."

Jane sighed as she ran her fingers through her long dark hair. She decided to stand before answering, "I did it to protect her Lisa, okay?" Jane was pacing back and forth in front of her. "Do you have any idea what could happen to Maura if this information gets out? Her life would be in constant danger! What'd you expect me to do?"

Lisa followed Jane with her eyes. "I would expect you to be professional and forthcoming with all of the information you discover during your investigation detective."

The formalness of Lisa's tone set Jane off. She stopped pacing and walked directly over to Lisa and stood in front of her. "Don't preach to me about how I handle my investigations. Maura being Paddy Doyle's daughter changed _nothing _as far as the case goes. It was not relevant to the outcome."

Now Lisa was pissed as she raised her eyebrows and her voice. "Not relevant? Jane? Seriously? Not relevant? The fact that Boston's number one mobster shows up at the home of the city's Chief Medical Examiner….. _who_ just happens to be his biological daughter…. to get his gunshot wound patched up… and then sent on his merry way to go kill Murphy and Sutton…..that's not relevant?"

Lisa had her….Jane didn't know what to say. After a long pause, Jane found her voice. "So how did you find out?"

Lisa was becoming increasingly irritated by the moment as it appeared that Jane was more concerned with how she obtained the information than the fact that Jane could be in some serious trouble for withholding investigative findings relevant to a criminal case. But she decided to go ahead and answer Jane's question anyway, "Your brother, Tommy Rizzoli. My DA investigator was conducting a follow up interview with him when he dropped that particularly ugly bombshell! If it gets leaked that Boston Homicide and the District Attorney's Office learned through an investigation that the city's Chief Medical Examiner is the daughter of a notorious mobster _and_ covered it up, we can kiss all of our careers goodbye and say hello to federal prison!

Jane didn't care about, nor could she hear, anything else that Lisa had to say. Her eyes glazed over from the anger that shot through her. Her only thought was to find Tommy…

Jane said nothing as she turned and walked out of Lisa's office, leaving Lisa to stand there in bewilderment. Jane didn't even acknowledge Frost as she rushed by him into the lobby and punched the down arrow to the elevator. When Jane decided that the elevator was taking too long, she looked for the exit sign to the stairs and headed for it. She entered the stairway and took the stairs down two at a time until she got to the parking garage. Oblivious to Jane, Frost had followed her. He had just enough time to jump into the passenger's seat before Jane drove off, squealing the vehicle's tires as she pulled away.

When Tommy wasn't working his dog walking gig during the day, he could usually be found at Rizzoli and Sons plumbing business hanging out with their pop. On this particular day, Jane hoped to find him there so she didn't have to go searching all over the place.

It must have been fate because as Jane approached her pop's business, she saw Tommy's truck in the parking lot. The bells on the front door chimed as Jane entered with Frost right on her heels. He had no idea what was going on but something told him he needed to stay close to Jane.

"Tommy!" Jane shouted. She frantically went into each area of the business looking for him. "Tommy! Where are you?" She yelled again, growing with impatience that she was unable to locate him.

Suddenly, a door from behind her opened and Tommy appeared through it, wiping his hands all over a towel he was holding. "Hey sis, what's up?" Tommy was oblivious as to why Jane was at their pop's store at this hour of the day. That was until Jane turned around and he was able to see the look on her face.

Jane couldn't have closed the distance between them any faster if she had been flying through the air. She raised her arms and pushed Tommy hard in the chest, causing him to stumble backwards. "What the hell Jane!"

"You stupid bastard! You told the DA investigator about Maura being the daughter of Paddy Doyle! Are you fucking crazy! Do you know what you've done?" Jane went to push Tommy again but was grabbed by the arm by Frost.

"Easy Jane." Frost was very worried that Jane was about to beat the living daylights out of her brother.

Jane yanked her arm away from Frost and continued yelling at Tommy. "You have jeopardized Maura's life in a way impossible to comprehend!" Jane was doing her best to control herself which was causing her entire body to shake.

"I'm sorry Jane, it wasn't intentional….it just…..it just happened! I had no idea!" Tommy's attempt to defend himself was pathetic at best, Jane thought.

"Oh shut up!" Jane's right eyebrow was arched high towards her forehead as she nearly growled her next words in Tommy's face. "As God as my witness Tommy, if anything happens to Maura….brother or not...you will pay!" She said with gritted teeth. She turned to leave but Tommy's next words struck her in the back like a sledgehammer.

"She loves you, ya know? She told me!" Tommy wasn't sure why he was telling Jane this information. He knew that by doing so, he was blowing any chance he would have ever had with Maura…not that he really had much of a chance anyway it seemed. Even though he and Jane rarely saw eye to eye on anything, she was still his sister….. and well…she had a right to know how Maura felt about her. Plus, he was a little afraid that Jane might make good on her threat if Maura gets hurt.

Jane turned around with fists clenched down by her sides. "What?"

"Maura! She's in love with you! She told me…after you saw me kiss her and got pissed and took off like a bat outta hell!" Tommy explained.

Jane was trying to grasp what Tommy was saying, "Whatdaya mean _you_ kissed _her_?" Jane was certain she saw it the other way around, Maura had kissed Tommy. Maura had been bending near Tommy while Tommy was sitting in the chair.

"No Jane! Maura had nothing to do with it. When she bent over to pick up the chess board off of the table….I...uh….I.. kissed her. It was an impulse…it just happened…Maura doesn't want anything to do me with Jane….she wants _you_!"

Time stood still for Jane. She felt all of the blood rush out of her brain, which made her lightheaded and dizzy. She could hear the tiniest of sounds….the tick of the clock on the wall…...the slight rattle of the blinds as they swayed from the breeze blowing through the window….the ventricles of her heart opening and closing as they pumped blood to and fro. She looked at Tommy, then at Frost. She knew her face must look white as a ghost. She shook her head in an attempt to clear the dizziness and get the blood flowing back through it again. Suddenly, she had a conscious thought. She had to get to Maura _NOW! _


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer**: This just in…still don't own R&I and not for profit…..

**AN**: Ok folks, the techie gremlins have been toying with me this week. I have been trying to personally respond to all the new reviews I received but there seems to be a glitch somewhere. I first thought it was my computer, or operator error (which is always possible), but I now think it has something to do with either the site or my JAVA program. So, for all that were wonderful enough to review my story and have not received a personal thank you from me yet, know that I am diligently attempting to respond to you. In the meantime, please know that I read each and every review and really appreciate you taking the time to comment. I look forward to the reviews for this chapter as things are starting to get a bit more hairy for Jane. Enjoy…

Chapter 9: **Pain (Three Days Grace)**

After Jane's confrontation with Tommy, she and Frost headed back to headquarters. Jane was driving, dodging in and out of traffic with a sense of desperation. She fought the overwhelming desire to just hit her blue lights and siren to get around traffic, but knew that it would've been against policy. With the kind of luck she had lately, she would probably get into a wreck and get her ass in a sling for it. She needed to get to Maura as quickly as possible. Not only to warn her that her connection to Doyle was out but also to confront her about what Tommy had said. _Was Maura truly in love with her?_ _Was it possible that Tommy was telling her the truth or was he setting her up?_ She needed to see Maura, to look into eyes, to challenge her to reveal the truth. And what if it does end up being the truth…..that Maura was in love with her. What next? Jane had, for the most part, completely shut that door long ago. She had said goodbye to any possibility of a future with Maura after she learned of Ian. All those months that Jane had struggled to lock away her feelings for Maura and move on with her life. The off the chart emotions she went through during that time tested her resolve in a way like never before. But she had survived….because that was what she was…..a survivor. So now, here she was faced with the possibility that what she had longed for all those months ago, existed. That Maura felt the same as she did, that Maura wanted to be with her romantically…..sexually….._But what did she want now?_ Did she want to pull the box out of the deepest cavern of her heart, unlock it, and give its contents to Maura? Doing so would make Jane unbelievably vulnerable, exposed, raw …and subject her once more to emotional pain…. pain that would arise if Maura suddenly changed her mind or they didn't work out. Maura possessed the unknowing ability to get to Jane in every way, fashion, and form. No one touched her emotional core like Maura. No one was ever allowed to get that close….except for Maura.

As Jane and Frost continued their approach to headquarters, Jane decided to take a few shortcuts around traffic which would cause them to drive through a few seedier parts of town. The places where prostitutes, pimps, and drug dealers chose to hang out. Jane was very familiar with the area from her days in narcotics and vice. She worked these mean streets quite often back then and knew the culture well. She was still lost in thought when suddenly she felt Frost's hand tap her arm.

"Jane, look over there!" Frost said referring to something out his passenger's window. Jane followed his gaze as it landed on the scene Frost was referring to. A man dressed in camaflouge pants and a hoodie, armed with a knife, and attempting to rudely extract a purse from an elderly woman standing on the street corner near the alley.

"Dammit!" Jane exclaimed in frustration as she struck the steering wheel with the palms of her hands. Getting involved in this was going to delay her from getting to Maura. She wrestled with her conscious for a moment before making the decision to act. "Let's get em!"

Frost jumped out of the car, crossed one lane of traffic and yelled, "Police, Stop!" That got the attention of said perpetrator who took off running down the adjacent alley. Frost gave chase. Jane drove over and partially onto the sidewalk to get around traffic and get to the other end of the alley to head the suspect off. As she pulled her cruiser up towards the opposite end of the alley, the suspect quickly diverted to the left down another alley way. Jane was now out of the cruiser and chasing him on foot. She was starting to close the distance on him as they reached a wall approximately twenty feet tall…dead end. The suspect turned around with knife in hand and lunged at Jane with all his might. Jane jumped back as the knife came way too close to cutting her abdomen but did manage to slice her shirt. The perp lunged at her again before she had a chance to pull her gun. She blocked his next blow with a cross block and follow up punch to the solar plexus, which caused the knife to fly from his hands. She then struck him in the jaw with a vicious forearm strike and finished with a knee strike to his groin. This put him on the ground. Uncontrollable anger suddenly coursed through her veins. She jumped on top of the suspect, straddling him as her right hand grabbed the front of his shirt and her left fist slammed down hard on his nose. Another left punch to his face….. another…..and another…..until blood spewed all over Jane's fist and the suspect's face.

Unaware to Jane, Frost had made it to the alley way and was coming up behind her. He saw the rage in her as she pummeled the suspect. He would've grabbed her arm or something but he was afraid that in her frenzy, she would turn and strike him. "Jane enough!" Stop! Enough already!" Frost shouted from behind her but to no avail. She had rendered the suspect unconscious. She wasn't listening; he had no choice but to touch her. He reached for her arm as she was about to slam another fist onto the suspect's face. She spun around poised to strike him when her glazed over eyes dissipated and she became aware of her surroundings once again. "Damn Jane….relax…calm down, alright. I don't think he has any fight left in him."

Jane was breathing heavily as she stared at Frost. After a moment, she looked down at her hands and noticed that the knuckles on her left hand were badly skinned up and bleeding. She hoped to God that the suspect's blood hadn't mixed with the cuts on her knuckles. _No telling what sort of diseases he might have…_She became painfully aware of just how reckless she had been in subduing the perpetrator. _What's wrong with me?_ As many fights and physical altercations Jane had been involved in throughout her career, she had never lost control of her anger on a suspect...…..not even with Hoyt.

Jane heard the sirens getting closer and realized that back up had finally arrived. Frost had radioed in their location and also requested an ambulance for the suspect. Jane needed to take a moment to collect herself before giving a statement to uniform and the robbery detectives. As she started to walk away from the scene, she heard the uniformed officer approach Frost.

"Jesus Christ Frost…..did you have to beat the perp up _that_ bad!" The uniformed officer said while looking down at the bloodied, still unconscious suspect.

Frost looked over the shoulder of the cop he knew from when he worked uniform to watch Jane as she walked away. He was very worried about his partner. "It wasn't me bro."

The uniformed cop turned around to see what or who Frost was looking at behind him….Detective Jane Rizzoli. He recognized her now. "Damn…remind me to never fuck with her!"

Jane went into a nearby restaurant and entered the ladies restroom. She placed both hands on the sink counter and looked at herself in the mirror. She was very disappointed in herself. All the work she had done to learn to control her temper…her anger… went out the window with the capture of this suspect. _He did try to stab you, ya know!_ Jane rationalized. She wasn't fooling herself though….she knew that she had gone overboard with striking the perp. She accurately surmised that her rage had come from dealing with Tommy over putting Maura's life in danger and that this particular suspect had paid dearly for said rage. As if remembering she had some place to be, she swiftly turned on the water, used the soap dispenser, and vigorously washed the blood off of her hands before returning to the scene outside.

**Make You Feel My Love (Adele)**

Maura was in her office typing up her latest autopsy report. She had a two o'clock appointment and since it was just minutes until that time, she decided to try and finish up the report before her meeting started. A light knock on her open office door caused her to look up from her computer….her appointment had arrived. Maura stood up to greet her visitor. "Please…..come in." Maura motioned for her visitor to have a seat in the chair in front of her desk.

"Good afternoon, Dr. Isles….how are you?" Lisa Kennedy said as she entered Maura's office.

"Please…..call me Maura." Since they seemed to be interested in the same special someone, she figured that there was no since in trying to be so formal. "I'm well Lisa…..and you?"

Lisa fought against giving Maura a tort response to her question such as…_how do you think I am? I just recently found out that my girlfriend has a thing for her best friend! _However, she refrained and decided to maintain her professionalism. "Same here….thank you."

"So, I must say, I was taken aback when you called and requested this meeting. I know you explained briefly over the phone that it had to do with follow up on a case, but I'm not aware of which one you would be referring to, since the only one we have worked together on has been adjudicated." Maura secretly wondered if the real request for the meeting had to do with Lisa wanting to confront her about Jane.

"Oh, I apologize for the confusion.…..the reason for this meeting has nothing to do with a prior case but with one that my DA investigator and I are personally following up on." Lisa gazed intently at Maura before continuing. "This case has to do with Paddy Doyle." Lisa carefully studied Maura's body language as she waited for a reaction.

Maura froze. _Oh no! _She fought desperately to not outwardly display any type of reaction to Lisa's statement. She inwardly attempted to regain her composure before responding. "I see, well….how can I help?"

"Well, you can start by telling me everything you know about Paddy Doyle," Lisa paused for effect before continuing, "….to include how long you've known that you are his biological daughter?" Lisa contemplated whether or not Maura would attempt to deny the allegation.

_Oh God….now what? I can't lie….I really wish Jane was here right now! What do I say? _Maura started to internally panic.

After waiting awhile for a response from Maura but none seemed to be forthcoming, Lisa spoke again, "Dr. Isles…..please… answer the question." She purposely refrained from referring to her as Maura at this moment. As much as the doctor was trying to hide her reaction to what Lisa had said, Lisa could tell that she had thrown the beautiful doctor into a tailspin.

Maura had no choice…..she had to tell the truth. "Awhile…I've known for quite awhile now." Maura finally admitted just barely above a whisper. There was a momentary pause before Maura had to ask Lisa a question. "How did you….I mean, your office…..find out about this?" Maura refrained from making this personal.

"I can't really go in to all of that at the moment…I suspect, however, that Jane will fill you in on that information when you see her….suffice it to say…. that little piece of intelligence came to us as quite a surprise shortly after we took Doyle into custody." Lisa explained.

Maura felt all of the blood drain from her face when Lisa told her that Doyle…..her father….was in custody. _ What am I going to do?_

Lisa watched as Maura's face turned sheet white. A part of her felt bad for the medical examiner. This was a lot for someone to take in as it could be a career ender for the doctor. Another part, though, felt that Maura and Jane had crossed the line in keeping this information a secret…..and now, it was coming back to haunt them. Lisa noticed that at the mention of Jane's name, Maura's face flushed as color returned and her gaze diverted downwards. She couldn't resist making it personal any further as she let a bold statement slip from her lips, "you can't love her as good as I can, you know?"

Maura looked up at Lisa. "Excuse me?"

"Jane…you won't be able to give her the love she needs…the love she deserves. I have a distinct feeling that you've done nothing but cause her pain." Lisa raised an intimidating eyebrow at Maura.

Maura felt a rush of anger inside but opted to stay calm. She collected herself before responding, "I suppose you are entitled to your opinion…..but your hypothesis is way off base…and your statement out of line, Ms. Kennedy." Maura narrowed her eyes at Lisa as she spoke. She refused to be intimated by her or her words any further. "Now, if you'll excuse me…..if we are done here, I have work to accomplish."

"Very well, we're done…. for now, but there will be more questions forthcoming." Lisa grabbed her briefcase and stood up to leave. "I'll show myself out…thank you so much for your time doctor."

At that moment, the elevator opened. Jane got off and walked into Maura's office. She stopped abruptly when she saw Lisa standing at Maura's desk.

Jane's eyes locked onto Lisa's and Lisa was well aware that Jane was furious with her. "Since when did the DA's Office start making house calls, Lisa?" Jane walked over to stand directly in front of her as she spoke.

"I was just leaving…..I needed to clarity a few things with Dr. Isles." Lisa was just as furious with Jane as Jane was with her so she didn't back down from the challenge. "Give me a call later if you wish to talk." Lisa whispered to Jane as she walked past her and out the door.

Jane watched as the elevator door closed and Lisa was gone. She turned back towards Maura. Jane was about to speak when Maura noticed the blood on her shirt and the cuts on her hands.

"Oh my God, Jane! What happened?" Maura jumped up out of her chair, walked around the desk and stood in front of Jane. She examined Jane with her eyes before grabbing her hands and inspecting the cuts on them. "Your knuckles are a mess." Maura said as she looked up into Jane's eyes. She felt a distinct flutter in her stomach.

Unbeknownst to Maura, Jane had a similar flutter flying around in her own stomach. "Yeah…..they ran into a robber on the way over here…..I'll live." Although she didn't really want to, Jane gently pulled her hands away from Maura's examination before continuing. "So, I take it Lisa told you…..about Doyle?"

Maura immediately missed the physical contact with Jane but understood that Jane wanted to get down to the reason for Lisa's visit. "Yes." Maura had already decided that she had no intention of telling Jane what else Lisa chose to discuss with her.

"Maura, you know you're in danger now, right? Even more so when this information comes out during Doyle's scheduled preliminary hearing." Jane bit her bottom lip as she spoke. She had to figure out a way for them to get out of this mess.

"I know… don't worry about me though, Jane…..I can take care of myself." Maura could tell by Jane's mannerisms that she was seriously stressed out at the moment and she hated being the source of that stress.

Jane's eyes softened as she listened to Maura's words. She suddenly thought of what Tommy had said…..that Maura was in love with her. She reached out and touched Maura's chin to raise her head up so their eyes could meet. "It's not a choice….I can't help but to worry about you…..to care about you." Jane softly admitted as they stared deeply into each other's eyes. For a moment….the rest of the world melted away. For a moment…there was no Doyle, no case,…... no Lisa. For just a moment…..all that existed was Jane and Maura… facing each other….gazing into one another's eyes….both wanting to say so much but neither knowing where to begin. The problem with a moment… is that it doesn't last forever.

Korsak walked into Maura's office and instantly became embarrassed at the scene he had just interrupted. _Damn! My timing sucks!_

Jane watched as Maura's eyes left hers and fixated on someone behind her. "Korsak…your timing sucks." Jane said hoarsely without turning around to see if it was, in fact, Korsak. She knew it was him….she could smell his cologne. Hesitantly, she let go of the interrupted moment with Maura and turned around to face Korsak. "This better be important."

"Sorry Jane…. it is….Cavanaugh wants to see us in his office right now." Korsak explained with regret in his voice.

"Now what?" Jane sighed and asked rhetorically as she watched Korsak give her the 'who knows?' look before stepping out into the hallway by the elevators, giving her and Maura a second to finish up. "Can we talk later?" Jane asked softly as she turned to look back at Maura.

"Yes…..please…..I think we very much need to." Maura was more than ready to finally put it all out on the table….to confess her feelings for Jane….consequences be damned.

**Dear Agony (Breaking Benjamin)**

Jane walked out of Maura's office and met up with Korsak. They took the elevator back up to the bullpen in relative silence. They barely had a chance to exit the elevator before Cavanaugh was out of his office and yelling. "Rizzoli, Korsak….in my office…NOW!"

"Geez, what crawled up his ass today?" Jane leaned over and whispered to Korsak as they both neared the commander's office. As soon as they entered, Jane became painfully aware of the source of her boss's ass crawler….her.

"Rizzoli, care to explain why I just got a call from the Office of Professional Standards telling me that a formal complaint of police brutality is being filed against you! Your robber is in the _hospital _with a _concussion_, Rizzoli! He says you beat him to a pulp!" Cavanaugh was pissed. This is the last thing that he needed to deal with in his office…..especially against his best detective.

"Sir, the perp pulled a knife on her! He tried to stab her! I think Detective Rizzoli was more than reasonable in the amount of force she used to subdue the suspect." Korsak vehemently defended Jane. Not only did he do so because he was her sergeant and he looked after his people but also because it was, well….Jane.

"Save it Korsak! Rizzoli will have a chance to plea her case when O.P.S comes to interview her." Cavanaugh looked back to Jane and eyeballed her hard. "I want you to keep a _very_ low profile until this gets cleared up. Do I make myself perfectly clear Detective Rizzoli?"

"Yes sir." Jane wasn't about to open her mouth any further about anything. She knew when it was best to silently take an ass chewing and when it wasn't. This was definitely one of those times that silence was best. _Rizzoli….you are your own worst enemy! _Jane chastised herself.


	10. Chapter 10

I don't own R and I

**AN: **Thank you all once again for some of the wonderful, amazing reviews you've given me. I truly hope I don't ever disappoint…..I want to say a special thank you to Suomynona. I was unable to send you a personal thank you for your review because your profile does not allow it. However, it was important for me to let you know how much I appreciated your words and feedback. I am extremely humbled by them and wanted you to know that they had a significant impact on me. Thank you again. Now on to the story…..

**Chapter 10: Everybody's Fool (Evanescence)**

After Cavanaugh's blowup, Jane decided to make herself scarce from the office. She thought about going back down to the morgue to see Maura but knew that Maura had an autopsy scheduled for late in the afternoon. Plus, she knew that they both were anticipating 'the talk' and she really preferred that it not happen at work, but rather in the privacy of one of their homes. Jane ran by her apartment to take a quick shower and change her blood splattered clothes before heading to see the one person that could help, the one person that could provide Jane answers on how best to protect Maura…..Paddy Doyle. But first, she had to see Lisa and hopefully convince her to approve the visit to Doyle.

Jane entered the District Attorney's Office and walked right past the receptionist, making a beeline to Lisa's office. "Excuse me detective, please wait….you can't just go barging into Ms. Kennedy's office." The receptionist yelled out as Jane defiantly continued down the hallway towards Lisa's office.

"Watch me." Jane said over her shoulder to the receptionist that was hot on her heels. She made it to the big corner office at the end of the corridor and entered the open door. Jane stopped abruptly which almost caused the receptionist to run smack into the back of her.

Lisa was on the phone. She raised her index finger up in the universal sign that said 'one moment' to Jane. Lisa concluded her phone call before addressing Jane. The receptionist spoke first instead, "ma'am, I'm sorry but she just flew right past me back to your office and I couldn't get her to stop."

"That's alright Holly, thank you." Lisa responded to the receptionist, effectively dismissing her. She returned her gaze to Jane, "Yes?"

Jane stood in front of Lisa's desk with her arms crossed. She was still angry with Lisa for confronting Maura earlier and Jane's defensive posture let Lisa know that up front. "I need to see Doyle."

"Not possible…..sorry." Lisa had figured this was coming so she didn't need to contemplate Jane's request.

"Lisa, please…I have to see him….I need to know who's coming after Maura…..who his enemies are…_before_ Maura's identity gets out to the general public. By the time the information hits the streets, it could be too late…someone could get to her."

Lisa remained silent but continued to stare at Jane. There was a part of her that regretted ever getting involved with the hot headed detective. But the other part of her….the bigger part, wanted Jane in a way that she had never wanted anything in her life. She wanted to possess Jane….mind…..body…and soul. Nothing less would do.

Jane's impatience grew as Lisa remained silent. "Lisa, if you care about me…at all…you'll let me see Doyle." Jane hoped that her statement would pull at Lisa's heartstrings…if she had any.

After a long sigh, Lisa finally answered. "Fine, but I'm going with you and you'll have to talk with him in my presence."

"Okay, whatever, I just need to see him…now." Jane knew that Lisa held all the cards so she had no choice but to compromise.

Jane and Lisa arrived at the city's detention facility. Jane hoped that her day didn't get any worse by running into that asshole Warden Price, a prior defense attorney that Jane had went up against in several murder trials. Price lost each time and apparently was a sore loser….. _and,_ held a grudge. Jane had to go through full security, but not Lisa. _Unbelievable! Damn attorneys all stick together!_

As Jane entered the inmate visitation area of the jail, she immediately made eye contact with Paddy Doyle. He was sitting on the opposite side of the thick glass wall that separated them. Jane sat down in the chair and picked up the phone to her left so she could communicate with Doyle. Doyle mirrored Jane's actions by picking up his own phone. Lisa was standing behind Jane. She would be able to hear Jane's part of the conversation but hopefully not Doyle's. She wondered how well Lisa would be able to read his lips…..not well, she hoped.

Paddy Doyle and Jane stared at each other briefly before Doyle opened up the conversation. "Detective Rizzoli, I had a feeling that you would be paying me a visit."

Jane used her peripheral vision to determine just how close Lisa was to her before she looked back at Doyle and spoke her first words. "It's gonna get out that you're Maura's father."

"I know." Doyle simply responded. A long pause ensued.

Jane's frustration started to grow. Doyle was not exactly providing her a plethora of information. "So, how do I protect her? Who's coming after her?"

"Unfortunately, you can't protect her. The list of my enemies is long and distinguished. With me locked up, they _will_ get to her. They will use her to get to me….to destroy me… financially, emotionally, and physically." Doyle's eyes bore into Jane's as he spoke. He was being very direct with her. He needed her to understand the direness of the situation…. to realize that Maura was in grave danger. The feeling in his gut told him that he could trust Jane Rizzoli. That same gut also told him that the Italian detective was very much in love with his daughter. He believed that the detective would more than willingly give up her own life to protect his daughter's. "I love her ya know. Even though I never got to be a real father to her, she is the most important thing in my life. I know she doesn't want anything to do with me and….well, I don't blame her. I realized awhile back that I'll have to be content with loving her from afar." Doyle paused before continuing, "and I would do anything I had to do to protect her….._anything_." Doyle emphasized his last word for effect. "I suspect that you and I have that perspective in common, detective."

Jane listened to everything Doyle said without interrupting. It was true; she would do anything to protect Maura….. lay down her life, if necessary. That's why she was so desperate to get some information that would help her protect Maura. Without any information, Jane was operating blindly…more reactive than proactive…..and she much preferred to act rather than react. She believed Doyle….believed that he did love his daughter very much and would do what he could to help her. "Doyle…give me something…..give me a name." Jane pleaded.

Doyle broke eye contact to look up at the attractive prosecutor standing behind Jane. He couldn't help but notice the look of impatience on her face. He silently wondered what relationship, if any, was going on between the two as he could sense the obvious tension between them. He returned his gaze to Jane, "O'Malley….Danny O'Malley. Since my senior lieutenant was killed at the same time I got shot, O'Malley is next in charge. He can be trusted…. and he will trust you….if I tell'em to. He can help, if you're willing to let him."

Jane wanted to ask more questions but Lisa signaled to the guard that time was up. The guard approached Doyle and escorted him out of the visitation area. Jane wondered if Lisa was able to hear what Doyle told her. She stood up and turned to face Lisa, "did I take too much of your precious time?" Jane asked sarcastically before moving past her to walk out.

Jane and Lisa made the fifteen minute drive back to Lisa's office without saying one word to each other. Jane was too busy kicking herself for misjudging Lisa. She couldn't believe that she allowed someone to fool her so badly. When they arrived back at the parking deck, Jane planned to jump back into her cruiser and head over to Maura's place, but Lisa asked her to come back up to the office so they could discuss the case further. Jane's gut told her it was a bad idea but she agreed anyway…she should've listened to her gut. The place was pretty much a ghost town when they got back up to Lisa's office floor. Since it was after six in the evening, most of the prosecutors and support staff had left long ago. As they entered the office, Lisa turned and shut the door before placing her briefcase in her desk chair. She immediately turned, walked towards Jane and put her arms around Jane's neck. Before Lisa could lean in to kiss her, Jane removed Lisa's arms from around her neck and stepped back.

"I thought you wanted to discuss the case, not make out." Jane stated flatly. She refused to let this woman get to her. She decided that now was the time to officially end it with Lisa….whatever _it _was…..at this point, she wasn't really sure what she and Lisa had ….._or_ who Lisa had pretended to be…Jane was pretty sure that she now had the real Lisa figured out. Lisa was overly ambitious…someone that would do practically anything to get ahead….to obtain what she wanted, not caring who she had to step on or over to accomplish it. Jane had no use for a woman like that.

When Jane removed Lisa's arms and stepped back, Lisa's expression transitioned from hurt to instant anger. Her eyes flashed with rage before settling back down into an eerie calm. "I have a proposition for you Jane." Lisa's voice was very matter of fact, which conflicted with the look in her eyes. Lisa watched as Jane crossed her arms in front of her and raised her eyebrows as a non verbal cue to continue. "Say goodbye to Maura Isles, be with me, and I'll not release any information related to her being Paddy Doyle's daughter."

Jane could hardly believe her ears. _What was this woman's malfunction? "_You can't coerce me into being with you Lisa."

Lisa narrowed her eyes at Jane as she spoke, "Can't I? I thought you would do anything for Maura….. _anything _to protect her….well, here's your chance. I am _very_ ambitious and competitive….. I do not like to lose….and, as such, I don't intend to lose you…so, what do you say? Maura's fate is in your hands." Lisa stepped closer to Jane as she flashed a seductive smile, "You know I know how to make you feel good."

Jane's mind was swirling. _How the hell did Lisa hear what Doyle had said to her? _"Whoever you've pretended to be these last couple of months Lisa, it clearly isn't the real you. It must've taken a lot of energy to portray yourself as something you're not. At least I got the chance to see the real you before we went any further." Jane said as she concentrated on keeping her anger in check. 

"So….. your answer is no then, right?...is that what I'm hearing? Geez, not much into making sacrifices for those that you love, are you?" Lisa was taunting her now.

Jane took several deep breaths in an attempt to calm the anger boiling inside. She wanted to walk out, dismiss Lisa from her life, and forget she had ever made the mistake of being with her. But then she thought of Maura. Doyle's words rang in her ears; _I would do anything I had to do to protect her…..anything._ Jane loved Maura like no other…..more than life itself….and she _would_ do anything to protect her…even if it meant that she could never be with her. "For how long?" Jane asked with a growl in her voice…. referring to how long she would have to endure being with a woman she was quickly starting to despise.

"For as long as I want you." Lisa responded casually. "I usually get bored with my lovers rather quickly….. but baby…" she eyed Jane up and down before finishing, "you are something special. It may take quite awhile before I'm tired of you."

Jane couldn't believe she was actually considering this crazy woman's proposition. She decided to play along in the madness only until she could figure out another way to protect Maura and keep the secret from getting out. Agreeing to this would at least buy her some time….but what would it do to Maura….and her…..in the process? Jane sighed heavily before sealing the deal with the devil. "You may have me physically Lisa, but you will never have my heart."

Lisa flashed a wide smile as she chose to ignore the last part of Jane's statement, "I'm good with physical…for now….I will expect more later."

"What about your ambitious career and the DA seat?" Jane challenged as she arched an eyebrow. "Don't you want that?"

"Oh I'll still win the case against Doyle and become the new District Attorney …..but I'll also win the girl…..best of both worlds, don't you think?"

"I still have to work with Maura, ya know?" Jane pointed out the obvious.

"Fine, work with her…I don't care….but work _is_ as far as it goes. Anything more and our little secret will be revealed. Deal?"

Jane had more questions. "How do you know that I'll honor our agreement when you're not around?" Jane was curious just how Lisa expected to control her when she was out of sight.

"Because Jane, you are, if not anything, loyal to the ones you love"…..She suddenly thought about how Jane had deceived her in regards to her feelings for Maura and felt a rush of betrayal surge through her….."not so much if you don't…I don't believe you would jeopardize Maura's safety in such a way." Lisa explained. "So do we have a deal or not?"

"Fine." Jane answered through gritted teeth…but in her mind she followed her answer up with something more, _but not for long….._

**Breakthrough (Colbie Caillat)**

By the time Jane arrived at Maura's place, it was nearly eight o'clock. She had no idea what she'd planned to say to Maura… what she would do when she looked into her eyes. Jane only knew one thing at the moment…..she couldn't bear the thought of something happening to Maura. Jane had to protect her at all costs.

Maura opened her door in response to the light knock on it. Standing there in her doorway was the weary looking detective that she now realized she loved with all of her heart and soul. Their eyes met. "Hi." Maura's voice cracked at just that one word so she dared not say anything more at the moment. She stepped aside so that Jane could enter. Jane walked in without saying a word and sat down on the sofa. "Can I get you something to drink?" Maura offered.

"Just some water please." Jane's mouth went dry at just the sight of Maura and it felt like she was chewing on cotton. While Maura went to the kitchen to grab the water, Jane took a quick moment to collect her thoughts and decide how best to start their conversation.

Maura returned and handed a glass of water to Jane before sitting down next to her on the sofa. "I was beginning to worry about you. I tried calling you earlier but your phone went straight to voicemail." Maura spoke first.

"I went to see Doyle." At the surprise look on Maura's face, Jane explained further. "I needed some information…..unfortunately, he gave me very little to go on." Jane said with much regret in her voice. Maura shook her head in understanding…knowing that Jane tried to find out who would be coming after her. Jane looked over at Maura's hands before she spontaneously reached out and gently took one of them. Jane watched her own movements as she enveloped and caressed Maura's hand into both of hers. She continued to stare as her thumbs softly stroked the back of Maura's hand in a slow rhythmic fashion. Jane pulled her eyes away from the melodic action to once again meet Maura's eyes. Suddenly, Jane was ready…ready to open up to Maura…ready to confess to her that she was still very much in love with the beautiful medical examiner. Jane took a deep breath before opening her mouth to speak.

Realizing that Jane was ready to open up the conversation, Maura decided that she really wanted to speak first. As Jane went to speak, Maura raised her other hand and gently placed her index finger on Jane's lips to stop her. "Please, let me." Maura gently asked permission. She had so much to say to Jane…so much to explain…she wanted to set Jane's mind at ease once and for all. Maura removed her fingertip after Jane nodded her head in agreement. Maura began with a small tender smile on her face. "All day, I've been thinking about and practicing what and how I was going to say what I wanted to say to you. I know that it will probably not come out the way I imagined it in my mind…..but know this….it comes directly from my heart." Maura explained. "For the last several months, you and I have grown apart. For the longest time, I couldn't understand why. You grew distant….detached….and I didn't understand what I'd done to cause you to respond in such a manner…...now I do. I was oblivious to the fact of how much I hurt you with Ian. At the time, I had no idea how you felt about me…or how I truly felt about you. The morning you left…..I heard you say that you loved me. I know now that I was wrong for not coming forward and letting you know that I'd heard you." Maura took a deep breath before continuing, "I was scared Jane…..scared of you loving me…scared of what that meant for us, for our friendship….scared and confused about how I felt for you… and for that, I am truly sorry. I'm no longer confused though.….no longer scared of you." Tears started to form in Maura's eyes as a large lump entered her throat. "What I'm trying to say…is that I am deeply and madly in love with you Jane….and I want nothing more than for us to be together…" Maura finally confessed.

Jane's own eyes filled with tears as she took in everything Maura was saying to her. Finally, after all this time…never believing this moment to be possible…..here it was…Maura telling her that she felt the same….that the impossible was possible…that they could share a life together…..express their love for one another. Everything she had ever wanted with Maura was right there for the taking…except for now she couldn't take it. Jane thought about how absolutely cruel and heartless fate was…..how darkly ironic her life had become.

Maura asked a gentle question with an uncertainty to her voice, "do you still love me or am I too late?" Maura held her breath as she feared the answer she would receive.

Jane's wet eyes grew wetter…softer…at Maura's tentative question. Jane slowly leaned in and took Maura's lips with her own. The kiss was soft, tender at the onset but quickly grew into a desperate frenzy. Jane had never kissed anyone the way she was kissing Maura now. She felt the flood gates open as all the love Jane had hidden deep inside her heart broke loose and washed over her like a raging river after a heavy downpour. Their tongues fought to remain against one another, not willing to release even for a breath of air. Maura's hands in Jane's hair…Jane's hands around Maura's waist pulling her ever tighter…..closer to her body. Maura wanted Jane to take her…to make love to her…to belong to her once and for all but she could feel that Jane was still holding back…..not willing to take the final step in transition to their new relationship with one another. No longer just friends….just best friends….but lovers…..lovers who burned with the all consuming fire of each other. Maura could feel the change in the kiss as their mouths continued to dance with one another…..there was a longing in it….a feeling of regret…it began to confuse Maura. As if reading Maura's mind, Jane slowly broke away from Maura's lips and looked deeply, intently into Maura's eyes. What Maura saw in Jane's eyes frightened her…..an overwhelming look of sheer sadness.

"That felt ominously like a goodbye kiss rather than the beginning of us," Maura whispered softly with her eyes closed. _Please God…..please don't let that be the case…I don't think I could take it. _

Now it was Jane's turn to talk but she found it difficult to do so because her throat was so constricted. She attempted to swallow but she could barely get it past the large lump that sat stationary in the center of her larynx. "Maur." Jane began but had to stop to once again clear her throat of the lump. "Maura…..I am still very much in love with you…and I have been so for a very long time." Jane watched the smile start to spread over Maura's face as she uttered those words. She knew, however, that the smile would soon fade as her next words would break Maura's heart. "But we can't be together…at least not right now….if ever." She wasn't sure what this was going to do to them and any possibility of a future together. What she did know was that she had to find a way…a different way…. to protect Maura from getting killed at the hands of Doyle's enemies…besides being forced to be with a woman she no longer felt anything but hatred for.

"I'm sorry….but….I don't understand." Maura was full on crying now. "If we are in love with each other…if we both want this…..why can't we be together?" Maura choked as she asked the obvious question.

Jane closed her eyes and internally struggled as to whether or not to tell Maura the truth…..the truth about Lisa's proposition. Jane knew that if she did so, however, Maura would try…and probably succeed….in talking Jane out of it….which would place Maura's life in immediate danger. No…she couldn't tell her the truth right now…she just hoped that Maura would believe in her enough…trust in her enough….to not walk away…..to wait for her. Jane steeled herself before uttering the words that literally made her nauseous as she pushed them past her lips. "I've already made a commitment to Lisa. We're together now…committed to one another." Jane said the words with her eyes closed. She couldn't stand to look into Maura's eyes as she told her the heartbreaking lie.

"Wha….what? Why? I still don't understand…you just said that you were in love with _me_ Jane!" Maura shook her head back and forth in complete confusion. Her pulse was racing and she felt panic starting to rise up in her. _How could she love me and still want to be with Lisa?_

Jane was aching inside. "I love her too." Jane rasped out just barely above a whisper. God, she hated herself so much at the moment…hated what she was doing to Maura. She kept telling herself that she was doing it to protect Maura….to keep her safe…..at all costs…..The unfortunate payment for that cost was the breaking of Maura's heart…..and hers, for that matter. She suddenly couldn't take it anymore…..could no longer stand to be in Maura's presence…to look into Maura's heart wrenching eyes. She had to get out of there…..escape…..run away as fast as she could…punish herself….destroy herself….. for hurting the one person she loved more than life itself. "I'm so very sorry." Jane hoarsely choked out as she stood up and took off towards the front door. She had to get away…._now_. She couldn't stand to witness anymore of the hurt she was causing the love of her life…..the woman of her dreams. Jane opened up Maura's front door and walked out.

Maura followed her. "Jane Rizzoli, don't you dare walk away from me…not again!" Maura screamed out as tears streamed down her face. She walked faster and faster to close the distance between them. When that failed, Maura began running to catch up to Jane. She reached out and grabbed Jane's arm forcing her to spin around. Jane had now lost all control of her emotions as thick tears flowed fully from her eyes.

"Maura…..I love you…..you know I do….but I can't…..I'm sorry…I just can't." She said through all of her tears. She paused before saying her next words with overwhelming regret. "It just never seems to be our time." Jane's voice cracked as she huskily whispered again, "I'm sorry."

Once again….Maura was left standing there alone as she watched Jane get into her car and drive away. Once again she ached….once again her heart was in pain at the hands of the woman she loved. "Are we ever going to stop torturing each other?" Maura said out loud to herself before returning to the inside of her home. _I can't take this anymore!_


	11. Chapter 11

**AN:** Okay folks, so my girl read the last chapter and nearly cried. She said that I had to do another update pronto...that I couldn't leave everyone hanging for days on end after that kind of chapter. Well, she's the boss…..…so here I am camping up in the mountains….in a camper because it's freaking freezing outside…and providing everyone with chapter 11. To the readers that continue to stick with me during this crazy rollercoaster ride….thank you. There is still a lot more to come in this story but the angst between Jane and Maura will be less. Rarely in life are things so black and white…instead we find ourselves maneuvering through the days in varying shades of gray. This chapter has some gray to it. As always….I appreciate your reviews.

**Chapter 11: Everybody Hurts (REM) Jane / Make You Feel My Love (Adele) Maura**

Jane couldn't remember a time when she cried as hard or as much as she was crying now. It was the kind of crying that caused physical pain….the kind that made the body convulse, the sides cramp, and the chest collapse. She wasn't even sure how she made it home as she could barely see the road through her tear drenched eyes. As soon as she made it inside her apartment, she ran to the bathroom and vomited. Afterwards, she slide down into the bathroom floor and curled up into the fetal position. She couldn't do it…she wasn't strong enough…she couldn't go through with the lie in order to protect Maura. The hurt on Maura's face flashed into her mind…she hated being the cause of that hurt…she hated breaking Maura's heart….she hated what she was being forced to do….. but mostly…she hated herself. She felt her cell phone vibrate on her waist. Hoping that it was Maura, she instantly pulled it from its holder and looked at the caller ID…it was Lisa. She threw the phone across the bathroom and watched it smash against the wall. Enough was enough…she couldn't take anymore. Her career was on the fritz as a result of the police brutality charge she was facing, never mind the incomplete case file she turned in that intentionally omitted Maura's relationship to Doyle. She knew she would get in serious trouble for that one. Even given all of that, she could handle it…as important as her career was to her, she could survive if at some point she was no longer Detective Jane Rizzoli. What she couldn't handle….what was destroying her inside….was hurting Maura, the woman that meant everything to her. No, what she couldn't take was not being able to be with the woman she loved more than anything, especially with knowing that the woman wanted to be with her in the same way.

Jane's bathroom was completely dark, except for a small amount of ambient light coming from a night light illuminating in the hallway. She rose up from the floor and positioned herself into a sitting position against the wall. With knees bent, she crossed her arms and lowered her head to rest on her forearms. She was all alone. Not even Jo Friday was there to comfort her this time….she was spending the night with grandma Rizzoli. Jane lifted her head up off her arms and looked around…..something caught her attention…three green dots glowing softly in the darkened room. It was the tritium night sights on her Glock 40 caliber…her department issued service weapon that rested on the counter of the bathroom sink. Jane stared at the night sights for a long time before she finally reached up, wrapped her left hand around the gun, and brought it down to her. She stretched out her left leg and brought the gun down to rest on her thigh. Jane's trigger finger caressed the cold steel of the barrel as she ran it up and down the length of the gun. She allowed her mind to drift into a forbidden zone…. _It would be so easy…no more hurt….no more pain…._Almost on its own accord, the finger inched ever so closer inside the trigger guard towards the mechanism that held the power to a take life_._ Five pounds…five pounds of trigger pull was the only thing that separated life from death…..pain from oblivion….but that was a coward's way out…..and Jane Rizzoli was no coward. Suddenly, her cell buzzed with a text message, breaking her out of her reverie. She couldn't believe the damn phone still worked. She wrestled with whether or not to look at it, afraid it was Lisa again. Her curiosity got the best of her…..she crawled over and picked up the phone. The message was from Maura…she read every word out loud:

_Jane, my love…..I'm not exactly sure what's going on and still don't understand why you would choose to stay with Lisa rather than be with me but I want you to know this….I'm not walking away. I have come to realize that I love you more than I ever thought possible…..more than anyone. Yes Jane, including Ian. The love I've come to have for you is greater and stronger than anything I've ever experienced. I'm lost and incomplete without you. I know you love me…I feel it. Maybe you're scared of how you feel about me and want to play it safe with Lisa…..I honestly don't know. But what I do know is that I intend to fight for you…for us… and I have no intention of letting you go so easily. So, you do what you have to do, I'm sure you have your reasons. I'll be here when you realize the same thing that I've already discovered…we belong together. I love you Jane Rizzoli….Maura._

Just when Jane thought she had no more tears left, they once again streamed down her face as she read Maura's message. Her words lifted Jane up, gave her a new sense of determination and strength…a desire to fight…. and to win. She stood up off of the floor, put her gun back onto the bathroom counter and sent her own message back to Maura:

_Maura…thank you. Thank you for being you, for loving me the way you do and for trusting me. I do love you with all of my heart….more than my words could ever express. I never knew true love until you…..never knew sacrifice….never felt want and desire like I feel for you. We will be together…..I'll be coming for you…..I just need a little time. Thank you for believing in me…for having faith in me….even after I'd lost all hope in myself. My heart is yours…Jane._

Jane switched on the bathroom light. She turned on the faucet to splash cool water onto her face and eyes. Dashing into her bedroom, she changed to a pair of jeans and long sleeved t-shirt. She was headed out….to find Danny O'Malley…..to seek his help. She texted Korsak saying that something had come up and she needed the next couple of days off. Korsak replied immediately: _Not sure what's going on but you got it….be careful Jane._ Jane put her badge around her neck and concealed her gun in the back of her pants. She threw a hooded sweatshirt on to cover the gun and she was out the door. Time to work the streets again, time to hit up her snitches and contacts from her undercover days…time to protect Maura.

Frankie entered the café at headquarters to grab a cup of coffee. He thought that crabby Stanley was working and not his mother. He was trying to avoid her at all costs because he didn't want her asking him about Jane. As soon as he approached the café, he noticed his mother at the front counter….._Ah crap!_ He did a one eighty turnaround to go back the way he came.

"Frankie Rizzoli Junior! Do not pretend as if I didn't see you!" The Rizzoli matriarch yelled out to her youngest son. Frankie sighed heavily and lowered his head before he turned around to now face his meddling mother.

"Hey Ma…what's up?" Frankie inwardly panicked as he tried to figure out an excuse to give his mom without blatantly lying to her.

"Don't you _what's up_ me young man….I'm your mother! Now….. where is your sister? I have been trying to reach her for _two days_…..even Dr. Isles hasn't seen or heard from her! I know that you know where she is…she always tells you what she's up to…..so spill it." Angela was by nature a worrier, never mind that two out of her three children risked their lives on a daily basis, which caused her to worry even more than when they were children.

"Look Ma, all I know is that she's working on a case, ok? That's all I can say….and don't worry, she's fine. I gotta go….I gotta get back to my beat." He really didn't want to lie to his mother so before she could ask him anymore questions, he kissed her on the cheek and hastily left when he saw new customers coming into the café.

**Lost In Paradise (Evanescence)**

It had been two days…two very long, grueling days and nothing. Jane hadn't been able to flush out one single lead on Danny O'Malley. At this point, she doubted that Doyle had been able to send word to him. Exhausted, Jane slowly climbed the stairs to her apartment. When she reached her apartment door, she noticed a small business card stuck in it. The front part of the business card was blank. She flipped the card over and read the hand written words:

_Heard a rumor that you've been looking for me._

_Meet me at the docks, pier 7at 2:00am ….come alone._

_DOM_

Jane looked at her watch…..it was 2:20am. "Dammit!" Jane cursed out loud as she kicked the door with her sneaker. She took off down the stairs at break neck speed and headed straight for the docks.

**What I've Done (Marie Digby-Acoustic Version-**Remake of Linkin Park Song**) **

Danny O'Malley was cautious….cautious to the point of paranoia. This time was no different. Even though he received word from Doyle that this Detective Rizzoli could be trusted, he still took precautions….still remained on guard, making sure no one followed him. Since Doyle's arrest, he had been keeping a lower profile than usual. He chose to meet the detective at Pier 7 because it was one of the more isolated and desolate piers on the docks. He hoped this detective was smart and street savvy…he suspected so since Doyle gave his seal of approval. O'Malley stood in the shadows as he waited for his contact. He curled his hands around his mouth and blew warm air into them. Fall was in the air so the Boston night was growing colder by the minute. After a few moments, he noticed a figure dressed in dark jeans and hooded sweatshirt coming towards him. Just to be safe, O'Malley reached into his jacket and put his hand on his Colt .45 caliber that rested in its shoulder holster. In his line of work, he couldn't afford to be too trusting.

When the hooded figure approached, O'Malley spoke first. "Bout time…..you're late." The detective instantly apologized. O'Malley dismissed the apology and went straight to business. He provided the detective with as much information as he could about who would be gunning for Doyle's daughter. Yes, he knew about Maura Isles….knew that she was the Chief Medical Examiner for Boston….knew that she would be in serious danger once Doyle's enemies found out about her. He had worked for Doyle for a long time and knew more than most. He was loyal to Doyle….always loyal… but it wasn't his job to protect Maura Isles. He knew Doyle respected and understood that fact. It was his job, however, to protect the business….to keep it in tact and afloat until Doyle returned. He warned that Doyle's enemies were ruthless individuals with no sense of honor or creed and that they would stop at nothing to destroy Doyle. The detective then gave him something that caught him completely off guard…information on how to help Doyle escape from custody. The detective provided the exact date and time of when Doyle would be transferred from the jail to the courthouse for his probable cause hearing, how many police officers were assigned to the escort, and the route that the escort would take. O'Malley was dumbfounded. From what he had always heard from others, this Detective Rizzoli was a clean cop….always on the up and up…..not for sale. _Guess everybody has their price, _O'Malley thought to himself. Apparently for this particular detective, the price was insuring Dr. Maura Isles' safety…something that could be practically guaranteed if Doyle were to escape from custody. The only stipulation the detective made to O'Malley…. that no cops get seriously hurt or killed in order to spring Doyle. O'Malley agreed to the detective's terms and said he would personally oversee the operation. This night….on this pier…the thin line between good and bad…..right and wrong…..justice and lawlessness… blurred for each as the figures said goodbye and parted ways.

Jane woke to the sound of her phone ringing. She rolled over towards her night stand and looked at the time before she picked it up. The alarm clock glowed with the numbers, 6:10 am. She had barely slept for two hours. It was Korsak. "Must you always call me so damn early in morning?" Jane answered, not bothering to say hello first.

"Jane, you need to turn on the TV now….check out the news." Also not bothering to say hello, Korsak went straight to the reason for his call.

Jane grabbed the remote and did as Korsak instructed. What she saw on the news made her sit straight up in bed. Video of past mob killings flashed across the television screen. The female newscaster reported:

_Again, repeating our top story: we have an unconfirmed report that Boston's notorious mobster, Paddy Doyle, who was arrested just days ago after evading the justice system for nearly forty years, is the biological father of the city's Chief Medical Examiner, Dr. Maura Isles. There will be more to come on this breaking story as our reporter on the ground digs for the truth._

"Oh God." Jane muttered loudly to herself and Korsak. "I'm on my way in. Do me a favor Korsak, you and Frost get over to Maura's right away and make sure she gets to the office safely." After she heard Korsak agree, she hung up and got dressed. She was out the door in less than fifteen minutes.

On her way to the office, Jane dialed Lisa's cell phone. Lisa answered on the second ring and immediately started to talk. "Where have you been? I've been calling and texting you for two days….wha….."

Jane cut her off. "Why Lisa…..why? I agreed to your fucking deal! Why'd you do it?"

"Jane, what are you talking about?" Lisa had stopped mid sentence when Jane interrupted her but now she was curious as to what Jane was talking about.

"The news Lisa…the news! It's all over the fucking news about Maura being Doyle's daughter! You are _un….fucking…..believable_! Quite the piece of work!" Jane grew angrier by the second.

"Jane…Jane…listen to me!" Lisa tried to get Jane to stop talking long enough so she could respond. "I know you're not going to believe me but it wasn't me…it really wasn't…I have not talked with any reporters about this…I stuck to our deal!" Lisa desperately tried to explain.

"Bullshit! What? Because you didn't hear from me for two days, you just decided to drop a dime to reporters? Is that about right? You just couldn't wait to put Maura's life in danger, could you?" Jane yelled into the phone.

"Jane…..I swear to you…..it wasn't me…..and I'm sorry…..sorry about….." Lisa was cut off again.

"Save it! I don't want to hear another fucking word you have to say! I don't believe a damn thing that comes out of your mouth. If any good has come out of this….it's that I won't be trapped by you and your little games!" With that Jane hung up the phone without bothering to say goodbye.

**One and Only (Adele)**

As soon as Jane arrived at the office, she made a beeline down to the morgue. Practically jumping off the elevator as the doors opened, Jane dashed into Maura's office and saw the love of her life standing in the center of the room, talking with Korsak and Frost. Her eyes met Maura's as each closed the distance between them. Wrapping their arms around each other, they intimately embraced, not caring that they were not alone. Korsak and Frost looked the other way in order to give the couple some semblance of privacy.

After a few moments, Jane pulled back slightly from the embrace and looked deep into Maura's eyes. "I'm gonna fix this, okay….somehow I'm gonna fix it." Jane spoke softly to Maura referring to the leaked information that was airing all over the news. "Until then, I don't want you going anywhere alone….and I want you staying at my place…..deal?" Maura nodded her head in agreement. She was so thankful to be in Jane's arms at the moment that nothing else mattered, not even her life being in danger.

When Jane finally glanced in the direction of Korsak and Frost, Korsak spoke first. "Jane, how did this happen? How did this information get leaked out?"

"Not sure yet…but I have a pretty good idea. Can you get with Cavanaugh and work on getting around the clock patrol at her place? Even though she won't be staying there, I don't want anything happening to her home." She then thought of her mother living at the guest house and decided that she needed to leave too. "And we need to get my mom over to stay at Frankie's place." Jane finished.

Korsak nodded his head and took off to go handle Jane's requests. Jane then addressed Frost, "Frost, can you work on pulling up everyone and everything we have in the system that we know has ties to the mob? Specifically know enemies and associates of Paddy Doyle…go back forty years if you have to…..just find us something to work with… … we need a list compiled of individuals that have the biggest vendettas against Doyle." Jane knew Frost was an absolute whiz on computers and would have the requested information in short order.

After Frost took off to dive into the computer system, it left Jane and Maura finally alone. Maura spoke her first words. "Can I bring Bass along…to stay at your place?" Maura tentatively asked.

Jane smiled softly as she placed the palm of her hand against Maura's cheek. _God I love this woman! _ "Yes Maura…..you can bring your _turtle_ to stay with us…..I'm sure Jo Friday will be thrilled." Jane said in both a genuine, yet sarcastic tone. She would never deny this woman anything…..ever.

"Tortoise, Jane." Maura corrected Jane once again over Bass's heritage. "Turtles primarily live in water and have webbed front feet or flipper-like fins to make swimming easier. Tortoises live almost exclusively on land, so do not have flippers, but normal feet without webbing, often with sharp claws…."

Jane cut Maura off from rambling on any further with her lips. She kissed Maura deeply and passionately…..no longer a goodbye kiss but a kiss full of love and promises of being together. Jane smiled against Maura's mouth as the kiss had its intended effect. It quieted Maura's adorable fact regurgitation session but also let Maura know that they were together….that they were a couple. Jane could feel the desire and passion rise in Maura as the kiss continued to deepen. Fighting against her own barely controllable desires, Jane remembered they were at work and finally pulled away from the kiss. She rested her forehead against Maura's as she spoke, "I love you Maura…I love you so much."

Maura kept her eyes closed a moment longer after the kiss ended to let Jane's words flow through her before she asked the pressing question on her mind. "Does this mean that you're with me?...that we're together?" Maura secretly prayed that she and Jane could finally move past all the craziness that had happened between them over the last several months and finally be together.

Jane's dark mocha eyes looked deeply into the beautiful depths of the medical examiner's orbs before she answered. "Yes, that's exactly what it means…. but also…it means so much more than that..…..it means that I will never walk away from you again, Maura."

Maura smiled wide as tears welled up in her eyes. _Finally!_ She leaned in to give Jane another kiss to convey her own love and promises to the gorgeous detective.

With their love now firmly planted in place, Jane had to continue to work diligently to keep Maura safe from Doyle's enemies. She knew it wasn't going to be easy…..she knew the challenge was big…..the stakes high… the danger immense…but she would fight all the demons of hell simultaneously to save and protect the woman she loved. And after all Jane had been through to be with Maura…..all Maura had been through to be with her…Jane knew that she wasn't going to allow anything or anyone to ever again break their bond.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: **Don't own R & I but boy do I wish I did!

**AN**: I know, I know and I'm truly sorry. It has been over a week since my last update. What can I say, life happens, right? Anyway, I hope you guys are still out there and willing to continue following my story. Hopefully you'll be happy to know that I've already written the next three chapters…..and I'm releasing two of those chapters tonight….as reward for your patience with me :-). To be honest, I had a bit of writer's block last week and then all of a sudden it broke and I couldn't stop writing. The next couple of chapters roll into the 'Remember Me' episode. While I didn't want to repeat that entire episode verbatim in my story, certain parts were a necessity to move this story along. I hope anyone that is reading this will have already watched that episode, otherwise, you might be a little lost. I would like to hear from you guys if you're still out there. Reviews are always helpful in motivating me to continue. Thanks again for reading and I hope you all enjoy…

Chapter 12:

Danny O'Malley walked into the conference room to address those that would be involved in the operation to break out Doyle. O'Malley decided to keep his plan very close to the vest and only provide certain tidbits on a need to know basis. That meant that each person would only have a very small piece of the puzzle and no one but him would know the full reason for the operation until it actually happened. Suffice it to say, those that would be involved would be monitored closely for possible leaks and given very little information prior to the actual date that the plan was initiated. Doyle's probable cause hearing was only four days away, which meant O'Malley had to make sure his plan was flawless and ready to go in three. After briefing the top tiered officers of Doyle's organization, he dismissed everyone so they could tend to their areas of responsibility.

Moments later, a blonde haired blue eyed man is his late twenties left the conference room and went straight into the bathroom. After confirming he was alone, he took out a small cell phone, one that was separate from the one he used as a member of Doyle's organization, and sent the following text message:

_Something big about to happen, not sure what or when…_

_Limited info….will do my best to find out ASAP._

* * *

><p><strong>Almost Lover (A Fine Frenzy)<strong>

Jane left Maura's office and took the elevator to the bullpen. She wanted to make sure Korsak had taken care of the patrol request for Maura's home and made the arrangements to get her mother to Frankie's place. She also wanted to find out how far along Frost had gotten with the list of Doyle's enemies. While she was on the elevator, she smiled to herself as she thought of her newly formed relationship with Maura. However, she wished they had the opportunity to enjoy each other without having to worry about Maura having a target on her back. Jane wasn't sure what she would do if anything ever happened to Maura but she knew it would be ugly and those responsible would pay dearly.

Jane barely had time to walk over to Frost's desk and ask about his progress before she noticed Lisa enter the bullpen. Jane, who had been leaning over Frost's shoulder looking at the computer, rose to her full height and crossed her arms in the typical Rizzoli defensive stance as Lisa approached.

"Hi." Lisa spoke timidly as she nervously tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "Can we please talk for a moment?" She looked directly into Jane's angry eyes.

"Why? I'm pretty sure I don't have anything else to say to you." Jane stated flatly. She glanced over at Frost who was doing his best to pretend he was invisible. He really didn't want to hear this conversation.

"Jane, please? Give me five minutes….after that, you never have to see me again….okay?" Lisa pleaded with Jane.

Jane sighed in resignation and led Lisa to the 'soft interview' room, a place used by detectives to question persons that were not considered suspects in a case. The room was carpeted and furnished with two small plush chairs and a small table. Jane closed the door and turned to address Lisa. "Talk…you got five minutes." Jane figured she was wasting her time by agreeing to listen to anything Lisa had to say. She already felt that Lisa was the one who had leaked the information about Maura and Doyle to the media.

"Jane, I first want to say I'm sorry….I'm so very sorry for the things I said to you in my office the other day…for making such a ridiculous deal with you….I crossed the line."

"Ya think? Look Lisa, you can save your apology….it's not going to change anything with you and I. You betrayed me in more than one way. For God's sake, you leaked the information about Maura to the press…..that is unforgiveable! Because of you, there is no telling how many thugs are coming after her!" Jane replied agitatedly.

"Listen to me Jane! I know you don't believe me…..you have no reason to….but I swear I didn't leak anything to the press! Why would I shoot myself in the foot with you? If my goal was to have you….which it was…still is…and you agreed to the deal, why would I then go out and blab everything to the media? Don't you see? Maura's secret being out means I lost you…...to her." Lisa paused for a moment when her voice caught in her throat. She was desperately trying not to cry in front of Jane…..unfortunately, she was losing the battle. Tears welled up in Lisa's eyes. "I panicked when I realized that you were slipping away from me…..I've fallen in love with you…I didn't plan to but I did….. and when I discovered that you had feelings for Maura, I felt betrayed and angry… and I lashed out at you. I understand now that all I accomplished by my little tantrum was cause you hate me… and _that_ drove you further into Maura's arms. I royally screwed up Jane."

Jane's defenses softened some at Lisa's admission. However, she still didn't entirely trust what Lisa was saying to her. Jane uncrossed her arms and walked closer to Lisa. She placed each of her hands on Lisa's upper arms and looked her straight in the eyes. "Lisa, the way you acted…..the way you treated me…that's not love, its control. You might wanna think about that before you get involved with someone again. As for us, I'm sorry but we're done. We can try to salvage a working relationship, even though that in itself will be hard…. but we really don't have a choice now do we?"

After a brief silence between the two, Lisa spoke. "Don't you have any feelings left for me?" She asked barely above a whisper as she continued to stare into Jane's eyes.

Jane broke eye contact with Lisa and looked down. She searched her mind for the proper response. Should she tell Lisa the truth? The truth being that a part of her still cared very deeply for Lisa. Yes, Jane had tried to hate her….._wanted _to hate her….. for how she tried to manipulate her….but she couldn't. After all, Lisa was the first woman she had ever been with…..that fact alone created a special place in Jane's heart. Jane reflected that not so long ago, she thought….no, felt…as if she was falling in love with Lisa. If Maura hadn't revealed her feelings for Jane _and_ if Lisa hadn't pulled that crazy stunt with the 'deal', she probably would've ended up in a committed relationship with her. If the ugly side of Lisa's personality hadn't been revealed, what would Jane have done? Would she have left Lisa to be with Maura once she discovered that Maura was in love with her? Or, since she had said goodbye to any possibilities with Maura, would she have continued on with her relationship with Lisa and just remained friends with Maura? Jane inwardly sighed as she realized that all of the contemplating in the world wouldn't change what actually happened. Jane possessed the innate belief that everything, whether good or bad, happened for a reason. She might not understand the reasoning but she truly believed that all things had purpose…that all outcomes were a product of the greater good…..whatever the hell that meant. It was the only way she was able to rationalize in her mind some of the horrific things she'd seen on the job….hoping against hope that something good would arise out of something tragic. In the case of Jane and Lisa, the outcome from the demise of their 'relationship' was that it enabled Jane to be with Maura, without guilt or complications. Jane couldn't also help but wonder if her getting involved with Lisa had ended up being the catalyst for Maura to discover the feelings she had for Jane. Again, it all seemed to have happened for a reason….so Maura and Jane would end up being together. Fate worked in mysterious ways…._fucked up_ _mysterious ways_, Jane thought…..but mysterious nonetheless.

After spacing out for what must have seemed like an eternity to Lisa, Jane finally answered her question…..and had decided to answer it truthfully. "Lisa, I do still care about you…..I always will. I'm not the kind of person that can share the intimacy that we had and not have feelings for you. But a lot has changed between you and me. Even if Maura wasn't in the picture at this point, we wouldn't be together. The side of you I saw in your office the other day scared the living hell out of me! I don't have a representative for my personality, Lisa. I'm me all the time…. and with that comes everything…the good, the bad, and the ugly. I don't know any other way to be _except_ to be myself… all the time…. and people can choose to take it or leave it. But with you, that's not the case. I've discovered that when you feel like you've been backed into a corner, your claws come out…and you allow your ambition to cloud everything. If someone were to get in the way of what you wanted, regardless of _who_ it was, you would walk….no, _trample_ them under your feet….believing the end justified the means." Lisa went to interrupt but Jane put her hand up to stop her. "Let me finish, okay? Now, you come from a privileged background and maybe that's the reason you're the way you are….I don't know…..and frankly it doesn't matter to me as to the _why_…it is what it is….you are who you are….. and I don't think for a second that you would ever be able to change that fact." Jane shrugged her shoulders as she finished her last statement. "So, even though I will always care about you, there's never going to be an 'us', okay?" Jane finished with a soft expression on her face. Jane watched as the tears rolled down Lisa's eyes in response to everything she had said. Jane couldn't help but feel some sorrow, some regret, at how it had ended with Lisa. What Jane did know was that she had to put all of it behind her now so she could focus on her relationship with Maura…..and on keeping her safe. On instinct, Jane reached out and wiped away a tear as it rolled down Lisa's cheek. "Take care of yourself, okay?" Jane rasped out just above a whisper. "I wish you nothing but the best."

Lisa nodded and continued to silently cry but did not speak. Jane realized that it was time for her to go, to walk away, and allow Lisa the time to collect herself before leaving the room. With that, Jane opened the door to the interview room and walked out. Jane thought how she had handled that completely different than what she'd expected from herself when she first went into the room with Lisa. Jane thought that she would've allowed her anger to get the best of her and would've verbally lashed out at Lisa. Instead she found herself taking the high road…and she was inwardly proud of herself for doing so.

As soon as she walked back to her desk, she was met head on by Cavanaugh. "There you are! Where've ya been Rizzoli? I've been looking all over the office for you!" Cavanaugh said in frustration. Jane looked over at Frost and silently thanked him for not giving up her location.

"Sorry sir, what's up?" Jane politely responded. She really needed Cavanaugh off of her back.

"_What's up_ is that there has been an inmate stabbing at the jail! Now get over there and investigate it, will ya!" Cavanaugh yelled before he turned and headed back into his office.

"En-route sir," was the only response Jane gave to her boss. When Cavanaugh turned his back, Jane looked over at Frost and rolled her eyes before she uttered her next words, "I'll let Maura know and make sure she rides with me. I'm not letting her out of my sight if I can help it when she's away from this office. Grab Korsak and meet us over at the jail as soon as ya can, okay?"

"Will do." Frost responded as he picked up his phone to call Korsak's cell.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

The elevator door opened to the morgue and Jane ran smack into her mother. "Hey Ma, whatcha doing down here?"

"Nothing, why do you ask? Can't I just come and say hi to Dr. Isles every once in awhile without every one questioning me and getting suspicious?" Angela was never good at lying and so she panicked when Jane asked her question. She was afraid that Jane was interrogating her and she would end up spilling the beans about the planned surprise party. She knew her daughter was a trained interrogator, so Angela did the only thing that came to mind to do…..deny and make counter accusations. "I might should ask you the same thing….first Frankie…..and now you in Dr. Isles office? Do the two of you ever get any work done?"

"Woa, hey, easy, it was just a question Ma? What's got you so frazzled?" Jane held her hands up in mock surrender.

Angela had to think quick, "Your brother, he's taking his detective's exam today and he asked Dr. Isles for some relaxation techniques. He thinks he's gonna bomb it. Talk to him sweetheart, he listens to you…..let him know it's gonna be ok." With that, Angela kissed her daughter on the cheek and headed back to the café before Jane could say anything else. _Whew, that was a close one!_ Angela thought to herself. _Jane's gonna have a surprise party whether she wants one or not!_

As Jane entered Maura's office, she noticed Frankie and Maura sitting on the office couch together. "You two should at least close the blinds." Jane said in a joking manner but then remembered the last time she walked into a room with Maura and one of her brothers and suddenly it wasn't funny anymore.

Jane's entrance startled both Maura and Frankie as Maura jumped up to cover something up on her desk. "That's a very good idea." Maura said nervously. She didn't want Jane to see the many birthday present possibilities that were displayed on her desk.

Frankie also jumped up and quickly pointed out to Jane, "It's not what you think." Frankie wanted to make good and sure that Jane wasn't thinking anything was going on between him and Maura. First, because he loved his sister more than anything in the world and he would never do something to hurt her like Tommy did. Second, he was pretty sure Jane could beat him up if she ever chose to do so, which meant he never wanted to be on the receiving end of his eldest sister's anger.

"I know…. I just bumped into Ma….you better kill on that exam today little brother." Jane said pretty much as a direct order.

"There's nothing like a little more pressure…..." Frankie said sarcastically. He was deathly afraid of disappointing his hero…his mentor…his big sis….to the point he thought he might hyperventilate at just the thought of flunking the exam.

Jane dismissed Frankie's nerves before turning her attention to Maura, "Come on, there's been a stabbing at the jail…. victim probably won't survive his wounds…let's go."

"That's okay; I didn't wanna be a detective anyway." Frankie said as he looked at both of them and walked out the door. _So much for some relaxation techniques_!

Maura nodded her head in agreement before asking Jane why Frankie was going to take the exam if he didn't want to become a detective.

Jane looked at her like she was crazy. "That's sarcasm."

"Using irony to convey contempt?" Maura attempted to clarify.

"Are you trying to drive me crazy?" Jane asked incredulously before giving her love one of her infamous 'looks' as she walked out of the office. Jane couldn't help but look back over her shoulder at the beautiful medical examiner and smile at their banter. _God, it feels good that nothing has changed between us_, Jane thought to herself. _We are simply best friends who are in love…best friends with benefits_!

* * *

><p>As Jane drove her and Maura to the jail, she wrestled with herself over whether or not to tell Maura about the visit with Lisa. On the one hand, she really didn't see any purpose in mentioning it to her. But, on the other, Jane felt like Maura had a right to know. Jane realized that if she didn't tell Maura, it would feel like she was being deceitful and was attempting to hide something, which she in fact was not. Jane decided that she would tell Maura about Lisa's visit but would wait until they had finished the crime scene and was on their way back to headquarters.<p>

Jane and Maura entered the jail and was immediately met by Joe Blow rent-a-cop and told that they would have to wait for Warden Price and also go through full security. Jane thought all of that was well.…bullshit, and she said as much out loud. While Jane reluctantly complied with the asshole Price's requests, she filled Maura in on why he was such a dick. Jane nearly lost it when Warden Price told the female rent-a-cop to pat down Maura. Jane was pretty certain she deserved some sort of medal for restraining herself from pummeling both Price and the two rent-a-cops at that very moment!

Price led them to the release area where the inmate had been stabbed. There was a vast amount of blood splattered all over the floor. As Jane examined the scene, she asked Price for the inmate's records. He refused without the proper subpoena. Okay, _now_ he was treading in some very dangerous territory with her as she mentally played out how good it would feel to punch him in the mouth. Maura watched as Jane's anger increased and realized that her beautiful detective was about to rip the warden's head off of his shoulders, especially after he called her hysterical. Maura thought it best to quickly intercede and suggested to Jane that they should go view the body. Maura was grateful that Jane didn't have her gun on her at the moment.

Thankfully, Jane listened to Maura and walked away from Price muttering, "It's a good thing I don't have my gun with me."

After meeting up with Korsak and Frost, Jane and Maura were led to the jail infirmary to view the now deceased inmate. As Maura examined the body and commented on the sharp edges of the wounds, a familiar voice caused Jane's blood to run cold. She defiantly walked over and pulled the curtain back to reveal her own personal boogie man…Hoyt. _Son of a bitch! _Learning from Price that Hoyt was allegedly dying of cancer, she allowed herself to be sucked in by Hoyt once again. Once again, he was able to dangle the proverbial carrot in front of her by telling her that he wanted to confess to a bad thing that he'd done.

Hoyt agreed to talk to Jane with Maura present but he wanted Korsak gone. Jane knew that she'd hurt Korsak's feelings when she asked him to leave the room but she couldn't help herself. If there was a smidgeon of a chance that Hoyt was going to confess to additional murders which would bring families some peace, then she had to take it. Dejectedly, Korsak left. Jane then looked at Maura and whispered, "Tape this." She walked over to the man that had caused her so much pain, so many nightmares, and stilled herself for whatever game he was about to play with her. "Talk…you got my attention and thirty seconds."

* * *

><p>Korsak didn't believe it…..Frost didn't believe it….and Cavanaugh apparently didn't give a damn. But Jane knew….in the deepest depths of her gut, she knew…that Hoyt was somehow involved in the murder of the jail inmate. Jane also knew that everything Hoyt had said to her had meaning…..she just had to figure out what that meaning was…<p>

It took Jane pulling an all nighter to find the family that went missing in the fall of 2005 but it was worth it. The only thing that she regretted about it was that she wasn't with Maura to ensure her safety…though she did make sure that Frankie stayed at her place in her stead. Angela had stayed as well. In addition to Frankie, Jane made sure there was two uniformed officers in a marked patrol car parked out front of her apartment building all night. She had to bypass Cavanaugh and call in a favor to make that happen. When she clued Korsak and Frost in on all the connections to Hoyt, she finally had their backing. Now, she just had to find the Wilsons remains and convince Cavanaugh that Hoyt was behind all of it. _Piece of cake…right? _Jane sighed to herself. She was exhausted but she had to keep going…she couldn't rest until it was done. She couldn't help but feel somewhat guilty for her attention being divided like it was. She knew she should be focusing and concentrating one hundred percent of her energy on finding those that might plan to harm Maura…but she hadn't fathomed that she was going to have to go up against Hoyt again in the process. Hoyt was her demon….the demon she wrestled with at night when she was all alone…..the demon that haunted her even during her waking moments….the demon that prevented her from inner peace. If she had a glaring regret in her life so far, it was that she didn't kill Hoyt when she had the chance. She should have….she knew she should have…..but some ridiculously misplaced sense of justice…of right and wrong…of not stooping to his level…had kept her from finishing the act. Instead, she marked him. She marked him like he had marked her…..in the hands. A message to him that she would not bow to him and his evilness….that she would fight him… to their deaths if necessary.

Maura's ability to push through the DNA test from the cheek swab of the surviving member of the Wilson family resulted in the proof Cavanaugh required…..the teeth found in the intestines of the dead inmate was that of the Wilson family. Unfortunately, eight hours of using ground penetrating radar at Westgate Park had turned up nothing. Their remains had to be near…..Jane knew it.

After they left the park and returned to the office, Korsak forced Jane to go home and get some rest. She had been up for over thirty six hours. She finally gave into Korsak's mother henning but only because she didn't want to be away from Maura two nights in a row. Jane knew, however, that she wouldn't be able to rest until she figured out where the Wilson's remains were.

**Anywhere (Evanescence)**

Jane paced around in her living room while Maura sat on the sofa and sipped on some coffee. She knew that it was going to be another late night…and not for anything truly enjoyable such as them making love for the first time. Nope, tonight would be a long night because she knew the woman she loved was more tenacious than anyone she had ever known. She knew that Jane would not decompress until she had solved Hoyt's riddle. Maura hated to see what Hoyt did to Jane…she hated the control he had over her. But through thick and thin, Maura was with Jane…..even if it meant sitting up all night replaying Hoyt's words over and over until something finally….hopefully….clicked.

"Eagles…Westgate….leaves…white velvet….where are they?" Jane muttered as she continued to pace. She knew that if she wasn't so tired, she could probably figure it out but exhaustion was getting the best of her.

"If you over secrete glucocorticoids, you won't be able to think….try to…relax." Maura spoke with her hands.

"Ah yeah, sure….I know…..why don't we take a midnight hot air balloon ride." Jane said sarcastically with a smirk on her face.

Maura couldn't help but to smile at the gorgeous detective's antics. _Jane really was quite the smart a-…..um, butt…I think her mouth has started to rub off on me, _Maura thought to herself before responding. "I thought it would be a unique experience, okay….okay? But that's fine….that's alright." Maura said in a higher pitched voice than usual before continuing. "You know…just save me a lot of agony and tell me what you want." Maura said with finality as she put the manual back on the coffee table and picked up her coffee. She waited with great anticipation as to what might come out of Jane's mouth.

Jane thought about that…..what did she want? Jane knew what she really wanted…..she wanted Hoyt to be dead. She wanted Maura's life not to be in danger. She wanted to not have to worry about anything and concentrate solely on her budding relationship with the honey haired medical examiner. But most importantly, she wanted Maura….in every way. She wanted to run away with her, free of all the craziness and turmoil in their lives and just simply love Maura….make love to Maura. _Damn, she hadn't even done that yet! _ But as is usually the case with Jane, she had trouble expressing what she really thought and felt…..and so resorted to something she was good at, something she was comfortable with…sarcasm. "A horse." Jane finally said.

"Really?" Maura said in surprise. She never knew Jane liked horses.

"Yes…..a thoroughbred….and I'll name him Walter and he can live here in the apartment with me…..and I'll ride him every day to work." Jane explained with a straight face.

Maura laughed. "A lot of people wouldn't put up with your abuse."

"Okay, don't get many anything! Pretend it's not my birthday! I _hate_ my birthday!" Jane preferred not to be reminded of the many birthdays gone by that resulted in disappointment for her.

"Well, what is the big whoop? I mean…why can't you just let people do something nice for you" Maura's choice of words caused Jane to stop her pacing and look back at her love in strange wonderment.

"Did you just say 'what's the big whoop'?" Jane surely didn't hear that word come out of the incredibly smart, utterly classic, and professionally enigmatic medical examiner's mouth!

"What's wrong with that expression?" Maura had heard many people say that same expression before and well, she kind of liked it.

Jane couldn't help but continue to make fun of Maura's chosen expression….which helped to deflect from telling Maura the real reason she didn't like her birthday. Unfortunately, Maura continued to ask so Jane caved. She went over and sat down on the sofa next to Maura and turned towards her before answering. "Because it never turns out the way I imagined it."

"And you don't like to be disappointed." Maura said now understanding Jane's reservations. She really hated to see the solemn look on Jane's face at that very moment. If she had anything to say about it in the future, Maura would do everything possible to ensure from here on out that Jane was never….ever…disappointed in her birthday again.

"Yeah…..help me find the Wilsons." It was clear to Maura that Jane was quite done talking about herself and wanted to get back to business.

They played the tape of Hoyt again. This time, it was Maura who solved the mystery. Her random knowledge of facts triggered Jane's epiphany of where they would find the Wilsons remains. After calling Korsak and making arrangements to have the department's dive team comb the pond in the morning, Jane finally hit a wall.

"Jane, you look exhausted. There's nothing else we can do until the morning, so why don't we try and get a little rest." Maura tried to reason with the stubborn detective. To her surprise, however, Jane acquiesced and allowed herself to be led into the bedroom. Jane plopped down in the bed wearing her same sweats while Maura went into the bathroom to change. When Maura returned, she was wearing a pair of silky blue pajama bottoms and a matching tank top. She climbed into the bed next to Jane. Jane, who had been staring up at the ceiling, turned and looked at Maura when she heard the bathroom door open. She watched as Maura approached her bed and climbed in.

Jane couldn't help but notice how incredibly beautiful and sensual Maura was….even when she wasn't trying to be. Jane turned towards Maura and propped her head up on her elbow. "You're beautiful, ya know that?" Jane said in her deeper than usual raspy voice as she reached out and moved a strand of hair from Maura's face. Maura just smiled in response. "I'm so sorry Maur." Jane continued when Maura's smile turned to confusion. "I'm sorry for everything….for you having to be involved with Hoyt while we're still dealing with all the Doyle stuff. I'm sorry that we haven't had any time to even be together." Maura tilted her head and raised her eyebrows in question as Jane explained, "you know….together…like that…especially after all that's happened in a relatively short time. I know _'we'_ have been put on the back burner and it seems that's gonna be the case for a little while longer." Jane wanted Maura…bad. But what she didn't want was their first time to be in the mist of her being exhausted, distracted with Hoyt, and half assed. No, she wanted her first time with Maura to last all night long…while the rest of the world disappeared from there consciousness.

Maura gazed longingly in Jane's eyes as she placed her palm to Jane's cheek. "Jane, I love you….there's no need to apologize. Would I like for us to have some time together? Of course I would. There's nothing I want more…..but knowing that I have your heart, that's the most important thing to me. Our time will come…..and when it does…..it will be wonderful."

Jane turned her head to kiss the inside of Maura's palm that still rested against her cheek. She closed her eyes to lavish the moment and feel the warmth of Maura's body next to hers.

"Try to get a little sleep my love… we'll have to get up in just a few hours." Maura said as she maneuvered herself into the nook between Jane's left arm and chest. Jane placed a kiss on Maura's forehead before she quickly drifted off to sleep. Maura stayed awake a little longer until she allowed the rhythmic beating of Jane's heart to finally lull her to sleep. Maura's last conscious thought was the hope that she would always be lucky enough to end each day like this….in Jane's arms.

* * *

><p><strong>Breath (Breaking Benjamin)<strong>

They all stood at the edge of the bank and watched as the large crane lifted the rusted station wagon out of the water. Jane had found the Wilsons. All four skeletal remains were removed and taken to the morgue to be examined by Maura. Back at the morgue, Jane stood with her arms crossed…slightly sick to her stomach… as Maura described the cause of death…their throats were slashed. As Jane hypothesized of how Hoyt was able to kill all four of them, her phone rang. Maura patiently stood by until Jane finished her phone call.

"Hoyt's dying and he told the guard he wants to see me." Jane explained to Maura the purpose of the call.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" Maura countered.

"He says he's prepared to give up the names and burial sites of every person he's murdered." Good idea or not, Jane knew she had to go…had to take the chance that she could solve more of Hoyt's murders and finally put his reign of terror to rest.

"I'm going with you." Maura said with absolute authority.

Shortly later, Jane and Maura arrived at the jail and were once again met by Warden Price. "Is Hoyt lucid?" Maura asked Price.

"Doctor says he won't last through the night." Price turned his attention to Jane. "You got a half hour with him understand?"

Jane stopped abruptly and put her hand on Price's arm to stop him. "You don't tell me how long I can talk to him. I'll talk to him until he's dead if that means solving one more of his murders….I hope that's not too hysterical for you." Jane said with raised eyebrow and fire in her eyes before she walked away.

At that precise moment, Maura couldn't have been prouder of Jane…..or thought she could possibly be any sexier, for that matter. Jane had professionally and very effectively put Price in his place and Maura greatly enjoyed the show. She couldn't help but smirk at the warden as she passed by him to follow Jane.

Jane and Maura entered the infirmary, shadowed only by Hoyt's guard. Everything seemed to happen so fast… yet, in slow motion. Jane, against her better judgment, allowed herself to get too close to Hoyt. Before she'd even realized, Hoyt had her by the throat and was on top of her. Jane screamed out at the guard to get him off her…and that's when everything went to hell. Jane watched as Hoyt's guard grabbed Maura by the neck and threatened her with the taser. _Dammit!_ Jane couldn't help it, she froze with fear. Visions of Hoyt stabbing her in the hands with his scalpel played in her head….visions of Hoyt and his apprentice kidnapping her and then Hoyt cutting her on the neck…..visions of her fighting to get to the gun before Hoyt did and shooting him in the hands. All of it….every nightmarish scene… played vividly in her mind's eye as Hoyt zip tied her hands together. She didn't even try to fight…..as if she'd finally given into the fear. She knew today she would die. She almost welcomed it… with the exception of Maura being there to witness it. Once again Jane hated herself…..hated that she didn't protest when Maura said she wanted to come…..hated that Maura's life was now in danger because of her…hated that she failed at protecting her, regardless of the enemy. Maura's scream sounded far away to Jane's ears as Hoyt now threatened Jane with the taser. Jane watched as Mason handed the stainless steel scalpel over to Hoyt. She stilled herself for the pain she knew she was about to feel. The coldness of the metal was the first shock to her system…..followed by the pain of her neck being sliced open. She heard Maura crying. Hoyt abruptly stopped the slice to her neck. He was toying with her. She heard him say that he planned to take her and Dr. Isles with him in death. _Dr Isles? Maura? He planned to kill her? Why? Because he knows…dammit!...somehow he knows…he knows we're a couple….and he kills couples! _Jane's realization of what Hoyt had planned shot through her body. He was going to rape and kill Maura and make her watch….. before he then killed her. _Oh... My… God!_ Mason was now on top of her. He held her down as she watched Hoyt go towards Maura.

"I win Jane." Hoyt said as he turned back to look at her.

Jane started to struggle but Mason was strong. "Noooo! Hoyt! Don't you touch her!" Jane frantically yelled. Maura openly cried and Jane knew she was terrified. Hoyt zapped Maura with the taser before he climbed on top of her, scalpel in hand. "No! Stop it!" She desperately screamed as she watched Hoyt slice Maura's neck open. Something in her broke….she mentally went to another place. Before she realized it, she'd head-butted Mason, splitting her forehead open in the process. Mason's nose poured blood all over his face. She continued her attack with a knee strike to his groin. She grabbed the taser and zapped Mason with it. _How does that feel you son of a bitch! _She turned on Hoyt who approached her and knocked the scalpel out of his hand. She probably should have tased him but she wanted to kill him…..kill him with her bare hands. She slid down into the floor and fought Hoyt for the scalpel. Hoyt lived by the scalpel and by god, he was going to die by the scalpel! A knee to Hoyt's groin….an elbow to his face ….. she frantically fought to get the instrument that symbolized his killings out of his hands. She gained control…control over the scalpel. Crawling on top of him, she effectively pinned him to the floor and raised the scalpel high above her head with her still zip tied hands. "I win!" She screamed before she plunged the instrument deep into Hoyt's chest. "And you're going to hell alone!" Jane barely had enough time to notice Mason was about to attack her again before she heard two shots. Mason fell backwards….. meeting his demise by the bullets fired from Korsak's gun. It was done….Hoyt's reign of terror was finally over.

** Hint..hint….the next chapter is pretty intense…..and maybe….just maybe our girls finally get to 'be together'! If I get plenty of feedback, I'll release it before the end of this week. **


	14. Chapter 14

**AN**: Okay, so I changed my mind and decided to go ahead and post this chapter as well. I've always been like a kid at Christmas time…never good at waiting or anticipating…so here you go…enjoy. But please still feel free to review because they are very much appreciated!

Chapter 14: ** Arms (Cristina Perri)**

Jane spent the remaining hours of her birthday getting bandaged up at the hospital and being interviewed by Internal Affairs. At the end of her interview with IA, the investigator apparently couldn't restrain himself from commenting to Jane that trouble seemed to find her often. Jane was able to read between the lines and knew he was referring to the pending police brutality charge that had been filed against her. She really wasn't in the mood to entertain his snide remarks so she politely told him to go get bent before she walked out. By the time she got to the Dirty Robber, it was just past midnight. She knew she would have to put on a fake smile for the unwanted surprise party that awaited her. But all she wanted to do was be with Maura…..alone. She wanted to hold Maura and never let her go….she'd come so close to losing her today. To Jane's surprise, no one was at the bar, save for the lone barkeep that was cleaning up. _Where the hell was Maura?_ She headed to her apartment, hoping that Korsak and Frost had remained with Maura until Jane got home. She opened up the door to her apartment, switched on the light, and was scared half out of her wits by a collective yell of "surprise!"

Jane robotically and dutifully went through the motions of her mother's surprise for her. She had to admit, however, that the gift Maura had given her was a welcomed highlight. Thankfully, after an hour of socializing, everyone got the hint that it was time to go. After many hugs and pleasant goodbyes, Jane and Maura were finally alone. They stood in the middle of the living room just staring at each other…drinking in the sight of one another… each thankful to not have lost the other. Maura was the first to close the distance. She walked towards Jane with the intention of wrapping her arms around her neck and kissing her. But Jane sidestepped her efforts. Maura ceased her approach and looked at Jane with hurt and confusion in her eyes. Jane pulled her gaze away from Maura's. Suddenly Maura realized what was wrong….Jane was terrified…..terrified by what happened…..and more than likely blamed herself for it.

"I'm going to take a shower." Jane muttered softly as she walked past Maura and headed for the bathroom.

Maura nodded her head slowly as Jane passed by her. She knew Jane very well….knew that her defense mechanisms were in full gear…..knew that Jane planned to shut her out. She listened as the water to the shower was turned on. At that moment, Maura made the decision that there was no way in hell she was going to allow Jane to keep her at arm's length…..not after all they'd been through together.

Jane entered the steaming hot shower and allowed the water to wash over the top of her head and onto the front of her face. The gash on her forehead and neck stung violently as the hot water seeped into her wounds. As the water cascaded over her body, she thought about how Maura had almost been killed at the hands of Hoyt. She replayed the images over and over in her head. Maura screaming….Maura being tased…Maura's neck sliced by that animal. It was all too much. Jane had nearly lost Maura today…because of one of Jane's enemies. Jane suddenly felt the full impact of that realization. Her tears came quietly at first, mixing seamlessly with the droplets of water on her face. Suddenly, the tears stopped and were replaced by the anger and rage that ignited in the detective's wounded soul. She slammed her palms over and over against the shower wall in an attempt to release the pent up emotion.

In an instant, Jane was no longer alone. A warm naked body pressed up against her back and loving arms wrapped around and consumed Jane, ceasing her destructive behavior. Jane heard crying mixed with soft whispers of comfort. Jane openly cried….finally releasing the pain and agony she felt inside. She felt herself wrapped in a tight cocoon of love and gentle kisses being placed on her shoulder and upper back. Jane turned suddenly to face the woman who held her heart, who was her everything and looked deeply into her eyes. With a rush of overwhelming love and desire, Jane passionately kissed Maura, pressing her up against the back shower wall. She hungrily claimed Maura's mouth, demanding entrance with her tongue. Maura eagerly accepted it as their tongues danced intricately against one another. Jane moved her kisses to Maura's neck….then along her collarbone…. before sensually moving on to her breasts. Maura's breath caught as Jane gave the proper amount of attention to her bosom. Jane continued to place soft, gentle kisses further down to Maura's abdomen before slowly retracing her tracks back up towards Maura's lips. Maura's hands entwined in Jane's wet raven locks as her lover placed kisses up and down her body. When Jane had returned to Maura's lips, she opened her eyes to look into the depths of the medical examiner's hazel orbs before finally taking her. The couple never broke eye contact as Jane drove Maura to sweet release. Afterwards, the only sounds that could be heard was the panted breathing of two women in love, mixed pleasantly with the misty spray of water pouring down on top of them.

Jane and Maura's lovemaking did not stop with the end of the shower. Their bodies still wet, Jane carried Maura to the bedroom as Maura wrapped her legs around the waist of the sensual detective. Jane gently placed Maura on the bed and slowly lowered herself on top of the beautiful doctor. They moved in perfect harmony with one another. No words needed to be exchanged as their bodies said all that was required. All of the want…..the need…..the passion they held for each other prominently displayed themselves in the hours of their lovemaking. Finally, with their bodies satisfied and their souls nurtured, the women succumbed to exhaustion just before sunrise.

Jane was the first to wake as the sun shone brightly through the mini blinds. She looked over at her gorgeous honey haired lover who was still sleeping soundly in her arms and smiled. Her birthday ended up being anything but disappointing. Maura began to stir and slowly opened her eyes to look directly into the deep brown ones gazing back at her. "Good morning." Jane whispered as she kissed Maura gently on the lips.

"Good morning my love." Maura replied sleepily with a smile. After a moment, she continued. "Last night….or rather this morning…..was absolutely amazing."

"Yes…. it was." Jane said as she stroked her fingers up and down Maura's bare arm.

Maura lifted her head slightly to capture Jane's eyes with her own. "I am sooo in love with you Jane Rizzoli."

"Me too." Jane replied as she closed her eyes to relish in Maura's words.

"You're in love with you too?" Maura said teasingly.

"Really?" Jane said in her infamous tone. "Not funny."

"Hmmmm, I thought so." Maura said laughingly while shrugging her shoulders.

"God, I could really use some coffee." Jane rubbed at her eyes to try to fully wake up.

"Say no more my sexy detective…your wish is my command." Maura placed a quick kiss on her lover's lips before she climbed out of bed and donned Jane's robe. She headed into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee for them.

Jane climbed out of bed and threw on a pair of sweats and a Boston Red Sox t-shirt. She went into the living room and plopped down on the sofa. Maura went back into the bedroom and changed into her pajama bottoms and camisole before joining Jane on the sofa with two steaming cups of coffee in hand.

"Hmmmm, that's good, thank you." Jane relished in the first sip of her morning cup of joe as she crossed her legs and faced Maura. Lost in thought for a moment, she suddenly realized that Maura was staring at her. "What?"

"Nothing….just looking at the wound on your forehead…..it's probably going to scar."

Jane couldn't help but chuckle at that, "So what's new? Pretty soon I'll be just one big scar at the rate I'm going. Hope you'll still love me."

"Jane, I love everything about you….scars and all….I just hate to see you hurt." When Jane offered no response, Maura looked away and took another sip of her coffee.

"Maura, I need to tell you something. I've been meaning to tell you this but it's never been the right time." Jane looked at Maura and waited for her acknowledgement. When Maura nodded her head to proceed, Jane took a deep breath and opened up. "I wanna explain what happened the night before I disappeared for two days….the night that I told you I loved Lisa and was in a commitment with her." Jane noticed a look of hurt appear on Maura's face. Jane took Maura's hand in her own and quickly explained. "It was all a lie…..not one word of it was the truth…..I was in love with you and wanted to be with you."

"I don't understand, then why did you say those things to me? Why did you walk out on me?" Maura wasn't following Jane's explanation.

"Because Lisa backed me into a corner….she wanted me to say goodbye to you and stay with her…in exchange for me doing so, she agreed not to disclose your relationship to Doyle. At the time, I thought it was the only choice I had… in order to protect you. I agreed to do it…. just until I found another way…but then someone leaked everything to the press… and Lisa no longer held any power over me. Maur, I'm truly sorry…I hope you can forgive me." Jane paused and waited for Maura's reaction.

Maura's eyes softened as she now fully understood the immense sacrifices Jane would endure to protect her. She saw it yesterday when Jane killed Hoyt and rescued her from a horrific death…..and she was seeing it now. "Jane, there's nothing to apologize for….you're truly remarkable, you know that? I've never met anyone like you." Maura said as she fiddled with the fingers on Jane's left hand. "You're the most selfless person I've ever known. Is there any length you wouldn't go to….to protect me?"

Jane, who had been watching Maura caress her fingers, looked up and met Maura's eyes with deadly seriousness before answering with one word that spoke volumes. "No."

Their conversation was abruptly interrupted by the startling ring of the door bell. Jane and Maura looked at each before Jane jumped up, grabbed her gun, and approached the door. She looked through the peep hole to find Lisa and investigator Riley, a DA investigator assigned to Lisa, standing on the other side of the door. _What the hell? What are they doing here?_ She opened the door and immediately started with the questions. "What are you doing here?" Jane directed her question to Lisa.

Lisa looked beyond Jane and noticed Maura sitting on the sofa in comfortable lounging clothes. _Well, I guess they're now officially more than friends,_ Lisa thought to herself. She fixed her eyes back onto Jane before she responded. "Jane, I'm sorry for the interruption, but it's important….may we come in?"

Jane turned and looked back at Maura before stepping aside to allow Lisa and Riley entrance. She put her gun back down on the table and crossed her arms as she waited for what was so damn important that Lisa felt it necessary to show up at her home.

Lisa took in Jane's casual appearance before speaking. She also couldn't help but notice the wounds on Jane's forehead and neck and wondered what had happened. She fought against her desire to show concern for Jane's injuries, especially when she noticed a similar wound to Maura's neck. "I guess you didn't intend on showing up for Doyle's probable cause hearing today?"

Jane had a look of surprise on her face as she glanced over at Maura. "Jesus, that's today?" Jane grabbed her blackberry and looked at the date. Yep, the hearing was scheduled for today at 1300 hours…it was now 1245. With everything that had happened in the last two days, she had completely lost track of the date…..damn. She also noticed her phone displayed several missed calls from Korsak, Frost, and of course, her mother. She had turned the ringer off on her cell phone when she'd gotten home last night…..obviously forgetting to change it back. "Okay, give me five minutes and I can be ready. Will the judge hold the case until I can get there?" Jane asked as she started to think how quickly she could put on her business attire and drive to the courthouse.

"No need." Lisa said rather nonchalantly. "Doyle escaped over an hour ago." Lisa made eye contact with Jane to judge her reaction.

"What? Ho…..How?" Jane stuttered in shock. She turned her attention from Lisa to make eye contact with Maura. Maura's expression held a great deal of concern.

"Well now, that's a very good question, isn't it?" Lisa said as she casually walked around Jane's living room. "It seems that Doyle's hired hands are either clairvoyant or were tipped off by someone on the inside who knew the time and the route that the escort planned to take to the hearing. They also seemed to know how many officers were on the detail and how to incapacitate them." Lisa noticed that Jane was about to ask her a question. "I know what you're going to ask and the answer is no, no cops were killed during the escape…..another oddity, don't you think?" Lisa paused momentarily before she continued. "Look Jane, I'm gonna be straight up with you because I do still care about you…very much as a matter of fact." Lisa made eye contact with Maura who purposely held her gaze. "Remember when I told you we had a mole inside Doyle's organization for the last year? Well, as you know, we pulled him out once Doyle was arrested. But…. he was called back into duty by Danny O'Malley, who unfortunately didn't realize he was a mole. Jane, the mole says that a Boston Homicide detective named Rizzoli met with O'Malley days ago and provided all the information for Doyle's escape. He, of course, didn't have this information prior to the escape or we could've prevented it." Lisa sighed in resignation as she walked up and stood directly in front of Jane. The feds wanna take you in for questioning…I talked them into letting Riley and I bring you in instead." Lisa paused to let everything she had just said settle into the detective's mind. "Would you like to change before we go?"

"Lisa, come on! Do you really think I'm stupid enough to try to pull something like that off? I never met with O'Malley! Sure, I looked for him….but I never found him!" Jane ran her fingers through her hair in frustration. She couldn't believe this was happening. "Your _mole_ is wrong Lisa." Jane pointed at Lisa as she spoke, nearly poking her in the chest. "What makes you think you can trust him anyway….trust what he's saying?"

"I trust him Jane…..I trust him implicitly!" Lisa raised her voice back at Jane.

"How? How can you trust this guy so much? How do you know he's not lying to serve his own purpose? How do you know-?" Jane was cut off by Lisa.

"I can Jane, okay! I can trust him because he's my brother dammit!" Lisa fell silent. She hadn't meant to let that slip….hadn't meant to reveal that information.

Jane stood there and just stared at Lisa. She was suddenly at a loss for words. She didn't know what else to say and even if she did…..she wasn't sure she should anyway. Jane threw her hands up in the hair before walking into her bedroom to change clothes. She was quickly followed by Maura who closed the bedroom door so they could speak privately.

"Jane, are you really going to go with them? I mean, this is serious Jane! I think they plan to arrest you!" Maura started to panic.

"I don't have a choice Maura." She grabbed a pair of jeans and a plain v-neck t-shirt from her closet and started to change clothes.

"Jane, talk to me….tell me what's going on. Please?" Maura paused and waited for Jane to answer her. Jane failed to respond and instead continued to change clothes. Maura continued to push. "Please tell me you didn't do it…that you didn't have anything to do with my father's escape…..please." Maura pleaded with Jane. She didn't want to believe it but she also knew that Jane would do anything to protect her….she had just said as much moments ago.

When Jane was dressed, she walked over to Maura and placed her hand on Maura's cheek. She looked deeply into Maura's eyes before she spoke. "Sweetheart…..I swear to you…..I had nothing to do with it!" Jane searched Maura's eyes to see if she believed her and unfortunately she saw doubt in them. "You don't believe me, do you?"

Maura sighed. She wanted to believe her lover….she really did…..but she couldn't help but wonder if Jane was in fact telling her the truth. "At this moment Jane….I don't know…..I don't know what to believe…..I'm sorry."

Jane started to tear up but was able to hold it back. What Maura said had hurt but she did understand why she would have her doubts. "Believe me when I tell you that I love you more than anything in this world….and I _would _do anything to protect you Maura….but I promise you that I didn't do this." She wiped a single tear that had started to roll down Maura's cheek. "I've gotta go, okay? I'll be back soon." She leaned in and kissed Maura deeply before pulling away with great hesitation. "No matter what happens…I love you…..please remember that." With that Jane walked out of the bedroom and approached Lisa and Riley. "I'm ready…..let's go."

Maura watched as Jane followed Lisa and the DA investigator out the door. Jane turned one last time and looked back at Maura, smiled reassuringly, and then closed the door behind her. Maura couldn't help but to go to the window and watch as Jane and the others made their way down the sidewalk.

As Jane, Lisa and investigator Riley walked towards their cars, Jane noticed a black van with dark tinted windows speeding quickly towards them. Jane had little time to react before a window rolled down and a submachine gun started spraying bullets everywhere. Jane pushed Lisa down behind her car and covered her with her own body. She briefly looked at Investigator Riley who had been shot multiple times and was probably dead. Jane felt a stabbing pain in her left shoulder and thigh and unfortunately recognized the feeling immediately….she had been shot. She wanted to grab her gun but her left arm refused to cooperate. Suddenly, a plastic bag covered her head. She fought desperately to remove the bag but she was snatched up by at least two men and tossed into the back of the van. They grabbed Lisa and tossed her into the back as well. The vehicle's tires squealed as the van sped off and took an abrupt right turn before heading out of sight.

In horror, Maura watched the entire scene unfold. "Oh my God Jane!" She quickly ran out of the apartment and down the stairs. By the time she made it outside, the van was gone…and so was Jane. The DA investigator laid in a pool of blood….dead. Maura noticed other droplets of blood on the sidewalk near Jane's cruiser, which was now riddled with bullets. "No no no!" Somehow she knew the droplets of blood came from Jane. "Not again….oh God…not again….she's been shot."


	15. Chapter 15

I don't own R & I

AN: Thanks to all who have reviewed! I plan to respond to those folks this weekend. Reviews are appreciated, of course…..

Chapter 15: **Time of Dying (Three Days Grace)**

Jane began to open her eyes at the sound of someone crying. The first awareness she had was the feel of her right cheek on cold concrete. The skin on her face felt sticky…..gooey. Unfortunately she was all too familiar with the metallic odor and taste of the substance sticking to her ….blood. No doubt it was her own. _Where was she? What happened?_ She struggled to remember her last conscious thought…. black van….bullets everywhere….pain in her body….blackness. As her mental faculties started to return and her awareness grew, she began to take stock of her body's condition. She was laying on a concrete floor…..hands bound behind her back with handcuffs. Throbbing pain in her upper left arm…..same for her left thigh….everything else felt stiff, sore. A wave of nausea enveloped her as she tried to lift her head for the first time. She paused… then attempted to push the nauseous feeling away. She once again lifted her head. Fighting through the pain, she continued to raise her body up to get into a sitting position and leaned back against a nearby wall. She had to know who was crying…..was it Maura? She felt weak…..lightheaded…dizzy…..all symptoms of blood loss. She looked around and determined that she was in some sort of warehouse. The only light in the large room was bits of sunlight that passed through the many spaces and holes in the aluminum walls. Her eyes tracked over to a far corner of the room, diagonal to her position, to where she heard the crying. She had to squint to make out the figure…it was Lisa. It was difficult to see her features but Jane could tell that she too was lying on the floor, face up. Lisa's hands were above her head and handcuffed to a bar attached to heavy metal shelving.

"Lisa? Are you okay?" Jane's voice sounded pained, breathless. She received no response to her question. "Lisa!" She tried to yell louder but her voice gave out. Still no answer. Jane could hear her crying so she couldn't understand why Lisa wasn't responding. Jane thought that she should try to make it over to her but she had little to no energy to move at the moment. She finally tried to force her body to move by sheer will power. She started to scoot little by little on her butt towards Lisa, using only her right leg for leverage. She had to pause to rest after each scoot and catch her breath. She had only made it a few inches when the sound of a door opening stopped her in mid motion. A man of large girth, dressed in a suit and tie, and flanked by two other men entered the room and approached Jane. Jane couldn't help but notice that the man had virtually no neck. It was as if his large melon-like head sat directly on his shoulders.

"Ah detective….good…you're finally awake...and still alive." He watched as she looked down at her left leg. "We applied direct pressure to stop the blood loss…..wouldn't want you bleeding out on us now, would we? I couldn't have you die too soon…..you're an asset. You're really no good to me dead…..at least for now anyway." After a momentary pause he continued. "You must be living right detective….your wounds are not that bad. It seems that the bullet passed through and through on your thigh and you're shoulder was merely grazed." At Jane's disbelieving look he continued. "Oh, I'm sure it still hurts like a son of a bitch….but you _should _live….._if_ you get medical attention in time, of course, _and_ you don't get an infection. Both of those matters are unfortunately out of your control….and mine too. Your odds of surviving depend greatly upon the level of cooperation by others."

"Lucky me." She licked her dry lips and hoarsely responded. "So if I'm such as asset, why'd you shoot me at all?"

"Oh I assure you that it wasn't in my plan to do so…an unfortunate mistake by one of my young employees. It seems that this same wayward young man also made the decision to have his way with the good doctor over there. Jane looked over at Lisa who was openly whimpering. _The good doctor? _'No Neck' motioned for one of his men to open the door. In walked a man that appeared to be in his early twenties. His arms and legs were bound with rope and he was being held by his arms by two larger men. The larger men forced him down to his knees as the man continued to beg for his life. Jane had a sick feeling that she knew what was about to happen but she couldn't show her captors weakness by looking away. The ring leader stood and walked over to the young man positioned on his knees. 'No Neck' stood directly in front of him, maintaining eye contact as he removed a gun from the inside of his sport coat.

"Don't boss, please don't…please…..I'm sorry…..I'm so sorry boss….I'll never fuck up again." The young man rattled off hysterically.

"You're right, you won't." The leader said calmly as he pointed the semi automatic pistol at the man's head and pulled the trigger. The gun fire echoed through the metal walls of the warehouse causing it to sound louder than it normally would. The man's head jerked back from the force of the bullet before his whole body then fell forward with a sickening thud. The leader put his gun back in his shoulder holster and nodded at the two men to remove the body. He then walked back over to where Jane was and pulled up the lone chair in the room and sat down.

"What do you want?" Jane asked with a cold flat look on her face.

"What I _want_ is Paddy Doyle." He motioned his head over to where Lisa was. "And the nice doctor over there is my key to getting him." He paused and visually assessed the detective before continuing, "And you're the key to the doctor. Don't you see?"

After a momentary pause, Jane responded. "Hmmm, maybe it's all the blood loss…..but I guess I'm not quite following you." She said sarcastically through gritted teeth as a new stab of pain shot through her leg. "Why don't you spell it out for me?"

"I'm disappointed in you detective, I heard you were the best. I suppose though you might not be at your best at the moment, so I will spell it out for you. Paddy Doyle owes me…..and I want him to pay with his blood. He has been a formidable opponent over the years but it's time for him to go. I had initiated a plan to have him killed once he returned to the jail from his hearing. Unfortunately, that plan was interrupted when the ever elusive Doyle was able to escape….with a little help from his friends, right detective?" He eyeballed Jane hard before he continued. "Obviously I had to resort to another plan. I thought what better way was there than to have Doyle come to me…I don't even have to go looking for him. I grab his daughter….which was quite the revelation to everyone, let me tell ya…..and use her to bring Doyle to me. I control her…. I control Doyle." He studied her hard before answering her unspoken question. "Yes detective, that's right…..if I control you….. well, not only do I control the beautiful doctor over there…but I control so much more, don't I? With you my dear, I control the Boston Police." The man stood and returned the lone chair back to its original position against the wall. "Rest now, there will be more time for fun and games later…..chow for now…."

'No Neck' and his two goons walked back through the door in which they came. Jane could hear the locks on the door engage and she knew she would have to find another way out. She tilted her head skyward and sighed. "I really need a vacation." She muttered out loud to herself.

**Somewhere (Within Temptation)**

Maura sat on the steps outside Jane's apartment and stared straight ahead into space. All around her she could hear the bustling of activity as detectives, uniformed officers, and CSI techs investigated the crime scene. She couldn't help but think how ironic the whole situation was. She and Jane had investigated many a crime scenes just as it was currently being done. Unfortunately, when you are emotionally connected to the crime scene…and to the victim for that matter….the business-like manner in which everyone was going about their responsibilities made Maura sick to her stomach. She was there…..in the middle of the scene…..not as a medical examiner doing a job…..but as a witness to the horror. A witness to her loved one shot …again…and then abducted. She couldn't help but close her eyes against the onslaught of visions that danced in her brain. She blamed herself for not acting…doing something….anything….that would have prevented what happened. A single tear forced its way out of her tightly shut eyelids. She couldn't cry….. didn't want to cry. She was angry…and wanted to stay that way. She knew the tears would come later and she would face them then. Now, though, wasn't the time for tears….it was the time to find Jane. Maura knew that she would travel to the ends of the earth to find her lover and bring her home. She squeezed her eyes shut even tighter at the thought of bringing Jane home in a body bag. She felt the bile start to rise up into her esophagus but choked out loud to push it back down. She couldn't afford to cave…..she had to be strong…. she had to believe…..believe that Jane was alive and that she would survive.

Maura broke from her haze just as Frankie and Angela approached. Maura stood up on shaky legs and was immediately encased in a desperate hug from Angela. Angela was openly crying and upset. Frankie had picked up Angela from headquarters but didn't intend on bringing her to the scene. Unfortunately, Angela refused to take no for an answer. Maura and Angela held each other in a tight embrace. "I'm so sorry Angela…I'm so very sorry." Maura whispered as she fought against the lump in her throat. Angela broke from the embrace and held Maura at arm's length. She looked hard and deep through tear drenched eyes at Maura as she spoke her next words. "Find my baby Maura…whatever it takes."

Maura couldn't help but notice that Angela had just called her by her first name. Angela always called her by doctor or Dr. Isles. She realized that her official title had no business being anywhere near this investigation. She would not be acting as a doctor or medical examiner for this case. No…..not as a medical examiner at all…. but as a woman in love whose lover was suddenly snatched from her very grasp….leaving her with not knowing whether or not her lover was dead or alive. She would be a woman on a mission. A woman bound and determined to find the woman that held her heart…and she would do anything to bring her home. Her mind flashed with a recent memory…

_"Is there anything you wouldn't do to protect me?"_

_"No." _

For the first time in her life, she understood. She understood the desperation that drove someone to the brink…understood that there were times when no amount of societal norms or laws would matter….understood how Jane could willingly and deliberately cross all lines of right and wrong in order to protect her. Now, she not only understood it….she would do it. No matter the cost…no matter the price…..no matter the consequences…._she would find Jane!_ She couldn't afford to wait for Korsak, Frost and the law to take care of business. No, she had to act now! And she knew just where to start…her father.

**Together Again (Evanescence)**

"Lisa, listen to me. Can you hear me?" Jane whispered with as much force as she could muster. She didn't receive a response but she continued anyway. "They obviously think you're Maura! You have to continue to play along and let them think that…. or you're dead! Do you understand me?" She paused and waited for Lisa to acknowledge her. She suddenly remembered what 'No Neck' had said. "Did they hurt you? Did that bastard really rape you? Lisa? Please answer me!"

"Yeessssssss!" Lisa finally choked out. In an instance, Lisa's whimpering changed to a full onslaught of crying.

"Oh god." Jane whispered to herself at Lisa's admission. _Dammit! _Jane was frustrated. She wanted to make it over to Lisa to comfort her but she was so weak from her injuries and blood loss, she was afraid if she did so, the exertion would cause her to pass out…..and she really needed to stay awake and try to figure out how to get them out of the mess they were in. She made the several inch return trip back to the wall she had leaned on earlier for support. She put her head back and rested it against the cool slab. She willed the fogginess from her mind so she could formulate a plan. Out of nowhere, a realization forcefully slammed into her brain…._it could have been Maura over there instead of Lisa_. _It could have been Maura that was hurt…bound…. Violated! Jesus! It could have been her! _Jane screamed out inside her head.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

**A/N**: Sorry that I've been off the grid for a few weeks. The holidays and life slowed me down quite a bit. I received quite a few emails requesting an update so….here ya go. After watching the finale, I was disappointed with the story line of Jane shooting Doyle. I would like to think that Jane and Doyle have a commonality and bond between them and prefer to think that Jane would've never shot him. Nevertheless, I clearly don't write the show. If I did, things would be much different. I look forward to the feedback on this chapter and I very much appreciate your reviews. Happy New Year!

**Chapter 16: Stand My Ground (Within Temptation)**

Paddy Doyle, Danny O'Malley, and the organization's entourage entered the safe house. It was in a remote part of the city and fronted as a dry cleaner. No one knew that the 'dry cleaner' was really owned by Doyle and consisted of many hidden rooms complete with computers, satellite capabilities and an arsenal of weapons. After O'Malley confirmed that everything around the safe house was secured, he took the opportunity to address Doyle. "It's good to see you as a free man again, boss." O'Malley offered as he gave his longtime friend and employer a hearty man hug.

"Thanks Danny, it's good to be out. How did you do it? How'd ya know when and where I would be?" Doyle knew O'Malley was good at his job but he still couldn't help but be impressed by how smooth the escape went.

"You can thank your Detective Rizzoli for all of it…..he's the one that gave me the intell." O'Malley explained.

Doyle had always paid attention to detail. It was one of the things that made him so good. So when he noticed that O'Malley had used an unusual pronoun to describe the detective, his attention was peaked further. "What'd ya mean 'he'? Rizzoli's a broad." Doyle narrowed his eyes as he questioned O'Malley. He could see the confusion mount in his friend's features.

"Boss, the person I met with at the docks was _definitely _not a broad….it was a guy. You telling me that I met with an imposter?" O'Malley's concern grew as his friend revealed the new information.

Doyle started to lose his patience as he thought about the possible implications of being scammed by someone. "That's exactly what I'm saying dammit!" Now get someone to find out who it was and report back to me!"

"Will do boss….will do." O'Malley said in an attempt to calm Doyle down. He then immediately left to go distribute Doyle's orders.

Just then, one of Doyle's cell phones rang and he immediately recognized that the caller was calling from the phone he had given Maura. He quickly answered, "Yeah?"

"It's me…..I need your help." Maura spoke softly into the phone as she provided Doyle with all the details she knew. She hung up and replaced the secret phone back in the drawer of Jane's night stand. She had known for quite some time that Jane possessed the phone. She had stumbled across it one day when she had been looking for an ink pen. Maura's first reaction upon finding it was to be angry with Jane. She also felt certain that Jane had been the one to make the phone call to Doyle that resulted in Tommy O'Rourke's death. However, she had finally decided to leave it alone and not confront Jane. She knew deep down inside that Jane had only kept the phone and did what she did in order to protect Maura. She was now very thankful that she had played it the way she did, otherwise, there would've been no way to get in touch with Doyle.

**I Will Not Bow (Breaking Benjamin)**

_After another long day at work, Jane walked into her dark apartment to find soft music being played. White tea light candles glowed softly throughout the interior. A smile spread across her face as she read an elegant handwritten note on fine ivory parchment. She lifted the note to her nose and inhaled the sweet sensual perfume that she had come to equate with the love of her life. The note contained simple instructions:_

_After washing away the grim of the day_

_Follow the rose petals to find your way_

_When you approach the threshold of love and desire_

_Enter to find your lover, full of passion and fire_

_Jane did as instructed and when she entered the bedroom, her eyes immediately fell upon the honey blonde medical examiner lying on the bed. Maura was dressed in one of Jane's white button down dress shirts….and nothing else. The shirt was strategically left unbuttoned at the top in order to display an ample view of her cleavage. The soft flicker of the candlelight danced exotically across Maura's bare skin. Jane was mesmerized by the sight. Jane's eyes traced the length of Maura's body until they settled upon her lips. Maura smiled seductively at the Italian detective as she motioned for her to come closer with the movement of her index finger. Jane slowly sauntered over to the bed as Maura sat up onto its edge. Maura stood to her full height. Without breaking eye contact with the olive skinned, mocha eyed detective, Maura slowly guided her lover to sit down on the edge of the bed. As Jane looked up at the gorgeous doctor, Maura stepped just inside Jane's bent legs and began to slowly unbutton her shirt. Jane lifted her hands up to cup Maura's buttocks but was denied by Maura's soft yet husky bedroom voice, "Uh-uh, tonight is my night to be in charge detective." Jane begrudgingly obeyed and lowered her hands back down to her sides. Maura bent down slightly and released the tie to Jane's robe. The dark navy robe fell away from the detective's shoulders as Maura gently pushed Jane down onto her back. Maura was still clad in the partially unbuttoned white shirt as she climbed on top of Jane and straddled her. Jane was awestruck at the sight above her. The woman that held her heart, her soul….. her everything. Maura slowly and seductively finished unbuttoning her shirt while maintaining heated eye contact with her lover. As the white dress shirt began to fall off of Maura's silky cream shoulders, Jane was startled by a loud popping sound. She watched in horror as Maura's facial expression changed from sensual to one of extreme pain. Bright red stains started to bleed through Maura's white shirt just before Maura's body collapsed on top of Jane…._

Jane suddenly jerked awake. Her breath was panted and she was soaked in sweat, more so than earlier. _A dream…it was just a dream, _Jane foggily rationalized. She blinked several times and tried to calm her heart rate. She willed her eyes to remain open, afraid that she would return to the last vision in her dream. She desperately tried to focus her vision that was going in and out of blurriness. Time seemed to stand still as Jane fought the strong desire to once again pass out. She knew she needed medical treatment soon or she might not make it. She lifted her head off the back wall and looked around the warehouse. She squint her eyes in an attempt to see the darkest corners of the structure. It was nearly impossible. The light that had shown through the gaps in the walls earlier was now replaced with blackness. Jane surmised that it was because it was now dark outside and she tried to calculate how many hours they had been there. She had no way of knowing how long she had been unconscious. Jane hoped that there was another way out of the building that wasn't locked or being guarded by a goon. Even if there was, however, she wasn't sure she could muster the strength to make it out. Her thoughts of escape were abruptly interrupted by the door being unlocked. No Neck and his two goons entered and immediately approached Lisa.

"Leave her alone!" Jane weakly yelled out.

The first goon bent down, removed the handcuffs, and yanked Lisa up forcibly by her arms. She tried to pull away but he was too strong and burly. The second goon grabbed the lone chair in the room and waited as the first goon forced Lisa to sit in the chair. Her hands were placed behind her back and once again handcuffed. Her arms and legs were then duct taped around the chair. For the first time, Jane was now clearly able to see Lisa's face. She had a busted lip and a swollen right eye that was on its way to turning black and blue. Jane also noticed that Lisa's blouse was partially torn off at the shoulder. It was clear to Jane that Lisa had put up a fight at some point and it had apparently cost her.

No Neck bent down in front of Lisa to look into her eyes before he spoke. His double chin was even more prominent when he tilted his head forward. "Doctor Isles, if you would be so kind, I need you to make contact with your father." Lisa stared at the large man with her one good eye before she turned and looked over at Jane. She wasn't sure what to say so she kept quiet. "Now doctor, no need to be stubborn, I'm certain that you have some way of communicating with him when it's necessary…_it is_ necessary now. So, please provide us the means to do so." No Neck remained patient and calm while he waited for a response. When none seemed to be forth coming, No Neck continued, "very well doctor, unfortunately I suppose I will have to extract this information the hard way…which will be most unpleasant I'm afraid." He stood back up to his full height but maintained eye contact with Lisa. He snapped his fingers which sent the goons in motion. Goons One and Two walked over to Jane and roughly snatched her up by her arms. Jane tried to protest but was stopped short as sharp pains thrust through her shoulder and thigh. The goons maneuvered Jane until she was positioned directly in front of Lisa. Goon One lowered a metal chain down that was attached to one of the steel beams above their heads while Goon Two repositioned Jane's handcuffs. Both goons then shackled her hands and arms to the metal chain and raised her up until her body was off the floor. When said goons finished their handy work, Jane was hanging vertically off of the floor, being supported only by her hands and wrists. Jane failed to stifle a cry of pain as the stretch of her arms, particularly the one that was wounded, screamed from the weight of her body. Jane gritted her teeth and her head shook from the pain she was in. She made eye contact with Lisa. She could tell that Lisa was about to give up her real identity until Jane shook her head no. Jane knew that as soon as Lisa said she was not Doyle's daughter, they would both be killed. Tears were streaming down Lisa's face as she looked at Jane but she obeyed her silent request.

"Doctor Isles? As you can see, your friend is in immense pain right now. It will only get worse for her if you don't tell me what I want to know." No Neck explained before turning to face Jane. "Or perhaps, Detective Rizzoli, you know this information as well. Tell me what I want to know and I'll have my men release your arms."

Jane shook her head yes as if she had conceded. She motioned with her head for No Neck to come closer. As he did so, Jane turned her head and looked him directly in the eyes before responding, "Go to hell!" She said with all the strength she could muster in her voice. He smiled wickedly at her before he reared back and punched her hard in the left thigh near the bullet hole. Jane screamed out in excruciating pain and fought hard not to pass out. She could faintly hear Lisa screaming out for No Neck to stop over the throbbing in her ears.

"Stop it! Stop it! I'll do it! I'll contact my father!" Lisa shouted out in desperation. She had to say something…anything to get them to stop hurting Jane.

No Neck turned back around to face Lisa. Suddenly and without warning, bullets rang out. No Neck was quickly riddled with holes before he collapsed on the ground near Lisa's feet. Goon One started shooting towards the direction the bullets had come while Goon Two pulled his gun out and went towards Lisa. Jane conjured up enough strength to swing her body and kick Goon Two causing him to topple forwards and drop his gun. Goon One continued to shoot over his shoulder as he sprinted towards the door in an attempt to escape. An array of bullets followed his path. The remaining goon was able to regain his feet and retrieve his gun. He turned and leveled the semi automatic pistol at Jane. Jane closed her eyes in anticipation of the bullet striking her body and ending her life. She conjured up a vision of Maura in her mind's eye and sent her thoughts of warmth and love as she knew her lover would be devastated by her death. More gunshots….Jane's consciousness spiraled into the deep black abyss.

**You're Going Down (Sick Puppies)**

Maura quickly jumped into the sedan with her father. Doyle gave her a glaring stare before speaking, "You're more stubborn than your mother." Against his better judgment, Doyle agreed to pick his daughter up at the coffee shop she had indicated. For the most part, he worked alone and operated better that way. He certainly didn't need his daughter in harm's way while he tried to find those responsible for Rizzoli's abduction. But he also understood Maura's need for vengeance against those that hurt the person she loved most in the world. Vengeance was a very strong motivator, a game changer….. life changer even. Once someone became filled with wanton bloodlust, the desire for pay back consumed every fiber of their being. Said bloodlust would only be quenched once the proper infliction of punishment was given to those responsible.

Maura did not respond to her father but simply stared straight ahead out of the passenger's side windshield. She was too lost in thought on where Jane was and if she was, in fact, even still alive. Dressed in an outfit very unlike her normal attire, Maura wore dark jeans tucked in flat black boots that rose up to just under her knees. Her torso donned a thin black leather jacket over a black turtleneck. Her chosen attire seemed to speak of a woman who planned for action and not that of an onlooker or bystander. To describe Maura as a determined, angry woman would be to put it too mildly. She was beyond determined…..beyond angry. She was in an emotional place that she had never experienced. A place where nothing mattered to her except for finding the woman she loved. A place where she felt hatred….. extreme loath for the ones that had shot and abducted Jane. A place where she didn't want those responsible to ever set foot in a courtroom to answer for their transgressions, but rather, answer for them in the same manner they had hurt Jane.

Doyle once again spoke, breaking Maura's dark musings. "I'm fairly certain I know who's responsible and where they are." Doyle spoke very matter of factly as he kept his vision straight ahead on the road.

With that utterance, Maura turned and looked at her father in anticipation of more information. When Doyle began to elaborate, Maura suddenly held up her left hand in a gesture that stopped him from continuing.

"Never mind, I don't want to know who….I just want to get to Jane and have assurance that they'll never get to hurt anyone else again." Maura stated in a monotone, flat voice devoid of any emotion.

Doyle read between the lines and knew what Maura was saying. He couldn't help but be surprised at his daughter's cold and callused demeanor, almost business like in her desire to make sure the offenders paid for their deeds in their own blood. But then Doyle remembered that his blood ran through his daughter's veins and Rizzoli's abduction had unleashed that bloodline to flow freely through Maura. The remainder of their time together in the car passed in silence until Doyle brought the vehicle to a stop on a gravel road and cut the headlights and engine off. Maura looked over at her father for instructions.

"Wait here for a minute while I check out that warehouse building down the road. If my instincts are right, they have Rizzoli held in there. I'll come back for you once I know it's safe." With that, Doyle walked off and was shortly out of sight. Maura sat in her seat for a brief moment watching as Doyle disappeared into the darkness. If wasn't long before she had made up her mind on a plan of action. She pulled out her cell phone and called Korsak.

He answered on the first ring, "Doc, where are you? Are you okay? Where have you been? I've been trying to call you for hours." Korsak rattled off in rapid succession. First Jane missing and then Doctor Isles, it was almost too much for him to take. Maura tried to interrupt Korsak but he kept speaking, "Doc, we got another murder. We think it's connected to everything else going on. Its Lisa Kennedy's brother. He was found floating in the harbor….a shot to his chest and forehead, and missing his tongue."

Maura took in this new information. She felt certain some of her father's men were responsible for the death of Lisa's brother. She felt a wave of nausea course through her and for a moment she pained with guilt. She quickly pushed it aside, however, to inform Korsak of what was happening. "Sergeant, listen to me, I'm fine but I need your help….and I need you to keep it to yourself, okay?" Maura waited for him to respond before she continued. She trusted Korsak and knew he would keep his promise and would do what she asked. Maura told Korsak where she was and asked that he come alone but have an ambulance stationed nearby. After finalizing everything with Korsak, Maura jumped out of the car and headed for the warehouse.

Maura slowly and cautiously approached the dilapidated structure and immediately noticed one man lying on the ground. He had an ice pick sticking out of his chest. She also noticed a handgun lying near the fallen man's body. Against her mental protests, her body bent down as her hand reached out and picked up the gun. Maura felt as if she was having an out of body experience. Every movement, every motion her body was making seemed foreign, as if she was watching someone that looked like her from afar. She stepped inside a doorway and noticed another man lying dead on the ground, blood pooled around his neck. _Jugular slashed, _she automatically assessed. She continued slowly through the darkness when suddenly she heard voices, screaming, and many gunshots. Fear shot through her body but she continued pushing forward towards the sounds of the commotion. She entered a large opening and ducked down behind several cargo boxes. Through the small amount of light in the structure, she saw Jane, hanging from the metal rafters with chains. Rage welled up in her veins once again. She also noticed a large man lying on the ground and a figure she assumed was Lisa duct taped to a chair. As she approached Jane, she noticed her kick one of the men that was about to shoot Lisa. _Thank god she is still alive_, Maura thought upon seeing the fight left in her lover. Time seemed to slow down to a crawl as Maura watched the goon Jane had kicked regain his feet and his gun and spin towards Jane. Time then came to an absolute standstill when Maura's body reacted on its own accord. Maura's hands raised the gun. Maura's eyes focused on the sights as it was leveled at the goon about to shoot Jane. Maura's finger entered the trigger guard, touched the trigger and squeezed it….again…..and again….and again….. until the gun was empty and said bad guy was dead on the ground, blood pooling around his body. Maura continued to hear gunfire until the remaining bad guy was also silenced by her father's bullets. As if her soul had suddenly returned to her body, Maura jumped, looked at the gun in her hand and swiftly dropped it to the ground. She had killed….taken a life. She couldn't process the repercussions of that realization now, she had to help Jane. Before long, Doyle and then Korsak were by her side and worked to get Jane down. Jane was cautiously lowered to the ground and was face up. Maura knelt down by her side and checked her vital signs. "Not breathing!" She screamed out in desperation. Maura felt for a pulse but found none. Maura quickly started CPR as Korsak called for the paramedics to enter the warehouse. Doyle stood silently by as he watched his daughter frantically trying to save her lover.

"Jane, don't you do this! Don't you dare leave me! Dammit fight! Fight my love! Fight!" Maura choked out through angry tears as she frantically gave chest compressions to Jane's torso.

The paramedics were quickly by her side with the automatic defibrillator and took over. Maura stood up and watched as the first paramedic yelled, "Clear!" right before the defibrillator provided its first shock to Jane's body. Maura's body jumped almost simultaneously with Jane's as each shock was delivered. "We've got a pulse!"

Maura slid back down to Jane's side as she heard the paramedic's proclamation. "Come on sweetheart, you can do it, you can do it!" She frantically whispered in Jane's ear.

"Ma'am, we gotta go…..we gotta go now!" One of the paramedics sternly said to her as the other paramedic readied the stretcher to transport Jane. Jane was swiftly maneuvered onto the back board and placed on the stretcher. The paramedics loaded Jane into the back of the ambulance. Maura then entered, sat down, and instinctively grabbed Jane's hand. Korsak told Maura he would be at the hospital soon before he shut the ambulance door and watched it drive away.

A second ambulance had arrived and was in the process of treating Lisa. Lisa was loaded onto a stretcher for transport to the hospital. As the paramedics wheeled Lisa towards the ambulance, she motioned for them to stop so she could speak to Korsak and Doyle. She made eye contact with Doyle but addressed both of them with one simple phase, "Thank you." Neither man spoke but simply nodded their heads in unison in acknowledgment.

After watching the second ambulance drive away, Korsak turned to Doyle. "I'm not even going to ask how this all went down. I just don't know how I'm gonna get it all cleaned up." Korsak stated worriedly.

"Leave it to me; I'll take care of it." Doyle responded in a businesslike manner. He couldn't have anyone knowing that his daughter, the Chief Medical Examiner of Boston, had joined forces with her fugitive mob boss father and even shot and killed someone in the process. "In return, I need you to be there for my daughter….and for Rizzoli, deal?"

"What about Kennedy's brother? What do I do with that, huh? You know who their family is, don't you?" Korsak said in exasperation.

"Yeah, I know. I'll handle that with the family. Let's just say I have…a history…..an arrangement with them. I'll deal with it." Doyle explained very confidently.

"So, I'm just supposed to let you walk outta here and trust you to clean up this mess? Is that about right?" Korsak asked.

"That's right. It's better this way. If you try to clean it up, my daughter and your ex-partner and friend will go to prison. Is that what you want?" Doyle calmly inquired.

After a moment of thought, Korsak only nodded his head no in response.

"Then it's settled, you and my daughter arrived here at the warehouse after receiving an anonymous tip on Rizzoli's whereabouts. When you arrived to check it out, you found Rizzoli and Kennedy hurt but alive and you called for paramedics. No one else was at the warehouse…..no one." Doyle explained the cover story.

"And Lisa Kennedy? What happens if she talks, huh?" Korsak made a good point. From what he knew about the ADA, it was likely that she would blow the whistle on the whole thing.

"I don't think she'll say a word but if she tries to, she will be dealt with. I will not have my daughter's life or career jeopardized any further. I will do whatever I have to do, understand?" Doyle's eyes bore into Korsak's as he spoke his last words.

Korsak felt like a dirty cop at the moment, felt like he was selling out. But he also knew that it was the only way to protect Jane and Doctor Isles…and he would do anything for family. _Above all else you protect your family_, he thought to himself before finally agreeing to Doyle's plan. With that thought implanted in his mind, Korsak silently walked away from Doyle and the warehouse and never looked back. Once he got to his car, he headed straight for the hospital. He silently prayed that Jane would make it and hoped she could be strong enough just one more time.

**Broken (Seether w/Amy Lee)**

Maura desperately held onto Jane's right hand in the back of the ambulance. She watched as the paramedic continued to work to keep Jane alive. She looked absent mindedly around the ambulance and suddenly realized that this very moment had happened before, just a little over a year ago. She silently wondered just how much more abuse Jane's body could take before it finally gave out. She prayed that Jane once more had enough strength and determination to survive, that her body would choose to fight one more time to hold onto life. As they entered the ambulance entrance to the hospital, Maura leaned down to Jane's ear once again. "Please hold on sweetheart, I'm not going to let you go…..I love you." With that the back doors of the ambulance opened and Jane was swiftly lowered out and rolled into the hospital to the medical personnel standing by. Maura exited the ambulance and quickly followed the medical entourage with Jane. _Here we go again_, she thought sadly to herself as they neared the surgical area….


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

A/N: From the responses on Chapter 16, I have to admit I was surprised that no one addressed the fact that Maura shot and killed someone in order to protect Jane. Also, if it wasn't Jane who met with O'Malley at the docks, then who?

A/N 2: I don't know why I feel compelled to tell you guys this or explain it but I am in the midst of a personal tragedy. I am spending a lot of time at the hospital as my sister fights for her life. Last week, she went into the hospital because she had some back pain, which they found was a bad infection in her lower back. All was doing well and the doctors thought she could probably go home this past Wednesday. But she suddenly went into cardiac arrest that afternoon and she has been in a coma ever since, machines currently keeping her alive. Right now, the prognosis is not good but I'm still praying for a miracle. All that to say that I can't help but wonder where she is right now, suspended between life and death. My thoughts have certainly influenced this chapter of my story. Writing is helping me cope with the overwhelming emotions I am feeling during this ordeal.

A/N 2: This story is around 2 or so chapters away from completion. I then plan to start on a new one that's been bouncing around in my head. I value the feedback that I get from these chapters and look forward to the reviews on this one. I've slacked off a lot lately on answering emails and reviews and I apologize for that. I will do my best to get caught up on those. As for some of my loyal followers of this story (such as Likeother, Vargas1989, LOCISVC, just to name a few), I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your personal emails and constructive feedback throughout this story. I look forward to your thoughts and feedback on this one as well.

**Chapter 17: Never Alone (BarlowGirl-Acoustic Version)**

Maura sat in a chair in the waiting room silent and alone. She stared straight ahead at the blank white wall in front of her. Except for the occasional hospital worker who walked by, no one else was around and the waiting room was eerily quiet. She couldn't remember the last time she blinked as she continued to stare ahead. She was zoned out and lost inside herself with her thoughts. She couldn't fathom the fact that this was happening again. She barely made it through the first ordeal and now, here they were again. _Except this time it's even worse_, Maura thought to herself. It's worse because Jane was shot as a result of her…..because of who her father was. It also felt worse, if that were possible, because last time she hadn't realized she was in love with Jane.

Maura's stare finally broke away from the wall as she lowered her eyes to look at her hands. They were once again covered in Jane's blood. She visually examined the intricate patterns Jane's blood made on the back of her hands. She flipped them over and did the same thing for the inside of her palms. Jane's blood…how many more times would she have to deal with Jane's blood being spilled? How much more of this could either one of them take?

A single silent tear rolled down her cheek and dropped into her left palm. Maura watched intently as the tear mingled with the now dark red stains of Jane's blood, while it slowly drifted towards the edge of her hand. Maura's eyes traced the tear's path as it rolled gently off her hand and onto the stark white hospital floor. Maura marveled at the tear's change of color, a translucent brownish hue that contrasted sharply with its surroundings. She and Jane's DNA mixed together in a single droplet, forever entwined, and forever bound together. Blood….DNA….the essence of life. And now the one life that was more important to her than anything in the world was once again hanging in the balance, dangling precariously on a precipice.

Maura suddenly found her lips moving in a desperate whisper to a higher power, "Oh God, I know I haven't been around for a long time. I'm a scientist and as such I find it hard to believe in something unexplainable, something greater than this world or science has to offer. But now I find myself needing you to be real, needing you to hear me and answer this prayer. Please, if you are truly real…truly the God of this universe… please, oh please save Jane….please dear God, please…..I can't go on without her."

Maura was roused from her whispered pleas by the swing of the operating room doors. The masked surgeon walked slowly through those doors and approached Maura. Maura stood from her seat in anticipation. Her hands were visibly shaking as she waited for the surgeon to speak.

The doctor lowered his surgical mask as he made eye contact with the distraught medical examiner. They had a professional knowledge of each other so he wanted to extend as much professional courtesy to her as possible. An additional moment of silence passed between them. For Maura, it felt like an eternity before he spoke. "I'm so sorry…." The surgeon hesitated as he carefully chose his next words, "she didn't make it…too much blood loss…." When Maura continued to stare at him and didn't respond, he tried to explain further. "She had Class Four hemorrhaging…which as you know is blood loss greater than forty percent. We tried to resuscitate her again but to no avail. Again, I am truly very sorry….we, um, we…. did all we could."

There was still no response from the medical examiner, who seemed to be in some sort of daze. The worried surgeon looked around to see if there was anyone else around to support Maura as she was clearly starting to exhibit symptoms of an acute stress reaction. When he did not notice anyone else around, he asked, "Is there someone I can call for you…so they can be here with you? What about Ms. Rizzoli's immediate family? Are they on their way here?" The surgeon inquired as he wasn't sure if Dr. Isles wished to notify the family or if she preferred that he do it. Right now, he wasn't getting any response from the medical examiner. Maura continued to stare through him and off into space. The surgeon removed a small pen flashlight from his scrub pocket and shined it into each of her eyes. Minimal dilation of the pupils and no blinking.

"Dr. Isles…I really think you should sit down." The surgeon diligently urged as he gently grabbed a hold of her arm and led her back to the vinyl waiting room chair. When he felt no resistance from the stupefied doctor, he gently lowered her into the chair by her shoulders. "I'm going to go get someone that can stay with you until Ms. Rizzoli's family arrives." The surgeon explained before he quickly left to find some assistance.

Maura completely shut down. She could not think or speak. Her body was numb. She felt detached, disengaged and completely and utterly…..alone. Suddenly, she felt a warm sensation on her forearm that quickly spread throughout her body. She instantly recognized the feeling. It was the feeling she got every time Jane would touch her. Maura looked down at her forearm to find a beautiful and very familiar hand resting there. She slowly and hesitantly turned her head and raised her eyes in search of her lover's face. When her eyes came upon the deep chocolate orbs of the woman she loved, she gasped slightly and shook her head in utter confusion.

"Hey you," Jane said softly with her trademark grin that Maura adored.

Maura tried to speak but failed to find her voice. Her eyes visually scanned every inch of Jane's body for the wounds to her shoulder and thigh. There was none. Jane was sitting next to her…looking at her…..and was fine. No wounds, no blood…nothing. "You're okay?" Maura finally whispered in questioned amazement as she leaned in to hug the beautiful detective.

Jane stopped Maura before she completely closed the distance between them. Maura grew more confused and slightly hurt by Jane's resistance to her intended hug. She then reached her hand up to touch Jane's cheek. This time, Jane tried to stop Maura with her eyes but Maura would have none of it. Maura's hand went to make contact with Jane's cheek but her hand flowed right through Jane's profile. As if it had been burned by hot coals, Maura suddenly snatched her hand away and placed it against her mouth in a failing attempt to stifle a scream.

"W-What? I don't understand!" Maura choked out as tears started flowing freely down her face.

Jane stared at her lover with overwhelming sadness in her eyes but did not speak. She waited for Maura to process what was happening.

After a few moments, realization spread on Maura's face. "Oh dear God…..you're dead." Maura spoke just above a whisper as she tried to understand. "But how? How are you here…right here…right now….with me? This can't be happening." Maura barely muttered through her sobbing tears. Suddenly, Maura addressed Jane with great urgency in her voice. "You can't leave me Jane! I need you! More than I have ever needed anyone or anything in my entire life! You have to stay! You have to live! I can't go on without you! Please stay…..please." Maura's mind struggled to understand while her emotions spun out of control and she completely broke down. Her gut wrenching sobs tore at Jane who was filled with immense sorrow.

"Shhh, Maura, shhh. It's okay." Jane tried to calm the distraught medical examiner with a soft soothing voice. She wished more than anything that she could hold her love one more time…..kiss her just one more time before she had to go away.

"No it's not okay Jane! It's not! If you leave, it will never be okay again!" Maura cried out. "I can't… be…. without…. you. I…. just can't." Maura gasped out through her sobs. She was on the verge of hyperventilating.

"Hey, Maur…..sweetheart….listen to me for a minute, okay? Okay? I don't have much time and I need you to listen to me." Jane knew she had only moments left to say what she needed to say. If she didn't get it out, the words would be lost forever. Maura softly shook her head in understanding but continued to openly sob.

"Maur, you are the best and most wonderful thing that ever happened to me, you know that?" Jane's voice was laced with raw emotion as she spoke. "I love you so very much. I always have and I always will." She paused before continuing. "You are the best part of me…..and I will live on in your heart forever." Maura's crying became more intense as Jane continued. "I will always be near…..watching over you….protecting you…loving you." Jane smiled as her own eyes glistened with tears. A small silence passed between them as they stared longingly at each other. "I have to go now my love. But I will never be far away from you. And I will be waiting for you when it is our time to meet again."

"But we just found each other. It's not fair Jane….If I can't be with you then I don't want to stay here either." Maura whispered through her tears as she gazed into the eyes of the woman she loved more than life itself. She was broken. Without Jane, nothing mattered…..absolutely nothing.

The sound of a door opening caught Maura's attention as she briefly looked away from Jane to see who it was. She wondered if the person would also be able to see Jane sitting next to her. An older woman came through the door and passed by Maura. Maura instantly turned back to look at Jane to ask her if others could see her too. She was gone. Maura stared until the realization that Jane was gone hit her in the chest. She slid down out of the chair and fell to her hands and knees, crying out for Jane, screaming out her name over and over again….

**Time of Dying (Three Days Grace)**

Darkness. All around her was complete and total darkness. She couldn't tell up from down or left from right. She should be nervous, except she wasn't. She was calm…..peacefully calm. She struggled to get her bearings but it was futile. _Where was she? _Jane desperately tried to open her eyes hoping to get a glimpse of something other than darkness. When that failed, she listened with her ears in hopes of hearing something, anything. The sound of silence pinged back to her ears. She tried to mentally take stock of her body and its condition but she felt nothing. Nothing hurt or ached. It was as if she was suspended in time in some dark abyss where nothing else existed.

Jane searched her memories. Her last recollection was that of some thug pointing a gun at her after she had kicked him. She heard a gunshot and thought she had been hit…again. But as her peripheral vision closed and conscientiousness was lost, she remembered seeing the thug fall and something else….a woman. No, not just any woman…..Maura. She saw Maura. _Maura? Where's Maura?_ She had to find her. She had to get back to her somehow.

Jane struggled to find a way out of the dark abyss. No longer was she calm and peaceful…..she began to panic. She had to get back to Maura and make sure she was okay. She had to let Maura know she was okay. _She was okay, wasn't she?_ She began to swipe at the darkness with her arms trying to fight her way out of it. The more she swiped, the more agitated and angry she became. The swiping turned into swings as she punched and then kicked at the darkness. She began to cry in frustration when she wasn't getting anywhere. She needed to get back to Maura; she needed to see her once again. She started to scream Maura's name over and over again….

**My Immortal (Evanescence)**

"Maura!" Frankie rushed to Maura's side as soon as he rounded the corner and saw her lying in the floor screaming Jane's name and crying uncontrollably. "Maura?" He reached her and kneeled down by her side. He was quickly followed by the Rizzoli matriarch.

"She's gone Frankie…she's gone." Maura barely got the words out.

"What? No, no, no way! She can't be! Not Janie! Oh God!" Frankie thought he was going to be sick as Maura's words crashed into his skull. In the distance, he heard his mother scream his eldest sibling's name before she too started to cry. He had to be strong. Surely there was some other explanation. Janie…his sister, his mentor, his hero couldn't be dead. She was too strong and way too stubborn to check out like this. He refused to believe what Maura was saying.

Korsak and Frost arrived and took off running to close the distance when they noticed how upset everyone was.

"Where's Jane? What happened to Jane?" Korsak demanded.

Frankie made eye contact with Korsak and shook his head in shock. Korsak's heart sunk into his gut. He looked over at Frost who looked as if he was about to pass out himself.

"I gotta find the doctor; I gotta talk to the doctor!" Frankie said in a panic. He turned Maura over to Korsak. Korsak was able to get her to a chair as he held her. Maura continued to cry into his shoulder and he hugged the emotional medical examiner with all his might. At the same time, Frost had reached Angela and was helping her sit down in a chair.

Korsak didn't know what to say to the beautiful doctor so he stayed quiet while she continued to mutter 'she's gone' over and over again in his shoulder.

After several minutes, Maura pulled back from the veteran detective and looked him in the eye before she spoke. "She was here with me for a moment…She was right here with me…by my side…. and she…. s-he was fine." She started to choke again. "She wanted to tell me goodbye. I turned around for just a brief moment and she was gone! Why Vince, why? Why did she leave me? Did she not love me?"

"Of course Jane loved….loves you doc. You mean everything to her." Korsak adamantly responded. He immediately swore inside at himself for using past tense with Jane's name.

Frankie pushed through the surgical doors and began checking each operating room for his sister. He was immediately met by several medical personnel in scrubs and masks.

"I'm sorry sir but you can't be in here. You have to leave now!" A masked woman, presumably a nurse, urgently said to him.

"I have to find my sister! I'm not leaving until I see my sister dammit! Where is she?" He pushed past the woman and went to check the next operating room.

The woman followed him. "Sir you can't go in there! You must leave now or I will call security and have them escort you out!"

Frankie froze in his steps. He looked at the sign outside the next operating room. It read . He looked through the glass windows and saw a small army hovering over the body on the table. The body was that of his sister. His vision became obscured by the tears in his eyes. He was grabbed by the arm. It was the same woman who had been chasing him down the corridor.

"That's my sis." He simply said to her before she had a chance to yell at him again.

The statement caused the nurse to soften her features, especially when she noticed the pain in the man's face. "I'm so sorry sir… but you still can't be back here. You need to go back into the waiting room and wait until your sister is brought into the ICU.

"What?" He turned to face the nurse in confusion….

Jane fought through the darkness until she saw a small light in the distance. As she got closer to the dim light, she sensed a strong, yet warming sensation begin to flow through her. It soothed her and she immediately relaxed from her frenzied state. At first, she quickened her pace towards the light believing it to be the exit out of the darkness and the way to get back to Maura. She then felt a pull from behind, which caused her to turn around. She looked hard but couldn't make out anything in the deep blackness. That blackness greatly unnerved her but the pull she felt was powerful, so powerful that she contemplated going back through it. It seemed she had a very difficult choice to make and she wasn't sure what to do. She could continue towards the light she could see, believing it to be the way out of whatever dark hole she was fumbling through _or_ she could listen to her gut and go back the way she came, uncertain of where she would end up. Jane's gut had never steered her wrong so she decided to trust it once more. Although it was difficult to turn away from the only light and potential exit she had found, she hesitantly spun around and fought through the darkness once more in hopes she could find her way back to Maura. If her intuition was right, she hoped that the powerful pull she felt through the darkness would lead her straight to where she could find her lover.

As she continued to meander through the abyss, she began to feel a sharp pain in her left leg. The pain was so intense that it actually made her fall to her knees. She began to believe that her gut had finally let her down and she had chosen the wrong way. Nevertheless, she felt the powerful pull intensify as she continued. It was an overwhelming magnetism that drew Jane deeper and deeper into the thralls of the black chasm. More pain coursed through her body as she now felt it up in her arms and shoulders. She struggled bit by bit to keep going, thinking that she had gone too far to turn around now. Her whole body was now on fire with immense pain as she stumbled forward. Suddenly, she felt as if she was being sucked through a vacuum hose as she was pushed forward by a powerful force to her back. It sent her spiraling out of control as she lost all sense of direction and orientation. She landed hard on her back and she was pretty sure that she now had some substantial injuries from the journey. She tried to move her body but couldn't. She listened intently as she thought she heard voices. _Where were the voices coming from? _She wondered. They sounded far away. The next thing she heard was some sort of annoying beeping noise that she wished would stop. She heard her name being called over and over again, which prompted her to become rather irritated. She felt very tired and couldn't help but wonder why. She slowly opened her eyes and was blinded by a bright light and several people standing over her dressed in blue scrubs and white facial masks. _What the-? Where the hell was she? _Tried as she did, she couldn't keep her eyes open. She was sleepy but she really wanted to find Maura. She tried to say her name but found she couldn't speak. She decided that she must be having some sort of weird dream and couldn't wake up. She continued her thoughts of Maura before she closed her eyes and seeped back into a deep sleep….


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer**: See Chapter 1

**A/N**: Hey guys, I know it has been quite awhile since you've heard from me and for that I am truly sorry. My sister passed away in February and I have been trying to find my way back ever since. This loss was the second of two tragic loses that I've experienced in the last 3 years. The first loss was also a sister. Damn, it has been hard! But…..somehow, some way, life goes on and I just do my best each and every day to find my purpose and place in this world. I am doing much better now. I think of both of my sisters often and miss them more than I could ever express. I try to take one moment at a time… as it comes, appreciating it for what it is. I am more understanding and more accepting of all circumstances now and do my best not to get bogged down in trivial issues that really don't much matter.

Thank you to all who have emailed me over these last few months with words of encouragement, understanding, and caring. Although I may not have responded back, I did read and greatly appreciated them all. If you are compelled to do so, please listen to the song I selected for this chapter. It moved me beyond words and was the source of inspiration for this chapter….

**Chapter 18: Everything (LifeHouse)**

Maura sat quietly on the bench in the still garden outside the hospital doors. The air was cool to her skin, prompting little goose bumps to rise up on her arms and legs. Her hands folded in her lap, still clinging to one of the many tissues she had destroyed throughout the night with her tears. She was alone…alone with her thoughts and feelings of emptiness, sadness, longing, and most of all, regret. Moments ago, she politely excused herself from the company of Vince Korsak and Angela Rizzoli and searched for a place she could be alone. A place where she might see Jane once more, connect with her just one more time…..

The garden, full of trees and flowers of every kind, suddenly sprang to life in the moments before dawn. Birds chirping wildly from every direction, the distance song of an eastern whip-poor-will signaled to all who listened that a new day had dawned. Maura absently recalled an old New England legend that says the whip-poor-will can sense a soul departing…and can capture it as it flees. How ironic that she would be listening so intently now to its haunting, ethereal song. _A new day had dawned?_ Maura thought to herself. She softly shook her head from side to side in amazed realization that the world didn't stop turning….didn't stop spinning….because her own personal world had ended. Life continued on, as if nothing had happened. The world didn't cease to function because her one true love was now dead….and she was left with a broken heart. _Death_…...how many times had Maura experienced some form of death in her life? She was constantly surrounded by the dead and dying in her job. She went about her daily activities dealing with death in a very casual, logical, and non-emotional way. Death was something that simply was….it was the inevitable, the antagonist to life…..the absolute, the resolute…..to everything.

Maura closed her eyes, exhaled a deep breath and tilted her head back, resting it against the back of the bench. She opened her eyes and looked up to see the first rays of sunshine dancing through the branches of the trees. The slight breeze caused the branches to gently sway back and forth creating speckles of sun and then shade upon her face… warmth and then coolness, brightness….and then darkness. She fought to keep her swollen and bloodshot eyes open against their uncontrollable urge to close in the midst of the sun's brightness.

_Find me here….speak to me…...I want to feel you...…I need to hear you_, Maura softly whispered in hopes Jane could somehow come to her once again. In her mind's eye, she played visions of Jane laughing, smiling….displaying that adorable crooked smirk on her face. Maura absolutely loved Jane's many facial expressions, from the most sarcastic to the tenderest. She missed everything about Jane. _How could she possibly go on from here? _

She was suddenly jolted from her thoughts by the frantic shout of her name. "Maura! Maura!" Frankie desperately called to the distraught medical examiner. Maura turned in her seat to see Frankie frantically running towards her. He came to a sudden stop directly in front of her and was out of breath.

"She's alive! She's alive! Jane's alive!" Frankie breathlessly proclaimed.

Maura's eyes widened with shock as she fought to take in his words. _Jane's alive? _One word entered her brain, just one word came to her mind and traveled down her central nervous system, prompting her body into action…..GO!

Maura jumped up and took off at a full sprint back through the hospital doors and down the long corridor that connected the south and north towers. Frankie tried to keep pace behind her. Maura opted for the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator. She took the stairs two at a time up to the fourth floor….ICU. She pushed open the exit door and ran down another hallway towards the nurses' station. Her eyes darted from side to side until they settled upon a familiar group, Angela Rizzoli, Vince Korsak, and Barry Frost. She first made eye contact with the elder Rizzoli, who was joyfully smiling and crying. With wide eyes, she approached and only uttered one word, "Where?" Korsak nodded his head towards one particular ICU room in response. Maura turned and bee lined towards the indicated room. She was intercepted by a nurse who advised that she couldn't enter the room yet.

Maura's eyes scanned the nurse's intently. She didn't speak but frantically pleaded with the woman with her eyes. No verbal communication was needed in order to understand the level of desperation in her. The nurse quickly relented and stepped aside. Maura slowly opened the door and entered. Another powerful feeling of déjà vu washed over her. She stood just inside the door and looked at the long dark-haired figure lying unconscious in the bed. Taking a few tentative steps closer, she became afraid that this moment might be all a dream. That this was just a cruel trick of her imagination, a mirage, her mind's way of dealing with such a traumatic loss. She tore her eyes away from her lover's form just long enough to take in the machines….. heart rate steady, blood pressure a little low but not bad, oxygen rate decent. _Dare she believe that this was real, that Jane was alive? Would her mind play such a devastating, cruel joke on her?_

Maura stopped her approach at Jane's bedside. She stared down at the beautiful detective's swollen face, afraid to even blink. She reached out and took hold of her lover's hand, gently caressing the back of it with her thumb. Her eyes diverted from Jane's face to the rhythmic motions of her thumb moving up and down. She felt a change in the air. Her eyes made their ascent back up to Jane's face and were met by half opened chocolate orbs staring at her. In pleasant exuberance, Maura's eyes filled with water at the sight before her. She could barely contain the emotions welling up inside as she realized that she wasn't dreaming, it wasn't her imagination, and that this was real….very real indeed. _Jane was alive!_

"You came back?" Maura softly posed to her love as each stared longingly into one another's eyes. Jane's dark head nodded slowly up and down in response to her adored lover's question before she once again slipped into unconsciousness…


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer:** Please see Chapter 1. I don't own R & I.

**A/N**: Hey everyone, sorry once again for the long delay. I had a difficult time with this chapter but it finally got rolling. I've had some changes at work….good changes…..but it has taken more of my free time. It shouldn't take as long for me to get the final chapter out. I have already started it. Many, many heartfelt thank yous for the continued support of this story. I'm not sure I would've completed it without the private emails of concern and encouragement and the much appreciated reviews. I would like to have the final chapter completed and out before Tuesday night's premiere but that might be a little overly industrious. I will try though….thank you all again for reading…..

**Chapter 19: I Won't Let You Go (James Morrison)**

Three weeks. It had been three weeks since Jane's return to the living and today she was well enough and strong enough to be released from the hospital. She was at least a couple of weeks away from being able to return to full duty at work but each day she felt more like herself. She was fortunate enough to have a rare moment to herself while Maura went and grabbed the car and Angela obtained Jane's discharge papers. The rare moment alone allowed Jane to reflect on all that had happened. She couldn't even begin to process it all. It was going to take weeks, months, maybe even years to fully work through it all. However, there was one thing that she knew for absolute certainty…..she had scared the living hell out of everyone who loved and cared about her. She didn't know the full extent of everyone's pain because they insisted on treating her with kid gloves while she recovered. But she knew enough to realize that her nearly dying twice in less than two years couldn't help but result in irreparable damage to her loved ones…especially Maura. Maura rarely left her side during the hospital stay, only leaving briefly to shower, change clothes, and eat an occasional meal, neglecting her own needs and health in the process.

Jane was in and out of consciousness during her first few days in ICU, but then was gradually weaned off of the pain medication and became more lucid. It was then that she realized that Maura wasn't being herself. Perhaps it was the stress of everything that had happened, everything that they had been through, but Maura seemed to have withdrawn inside herself. When Jane found herself alone with the beautiful medical examiner and inquired if Maura was okay, Maura would just chalk it up to being tired. But Jane knew better. Jane decided to not push the topic while she remained in the hospital, realizing that the likelihood of being able to have an in depth conversation while lying flat on her back in a hospital bed was just not going to happen. Everyone was too overly concerned about her recovery, making sure that she stayed calm and didn't get upset over anything. She didn't say anything and did her best to try to hide it but frankly, she was over it. The only reason she had taken it this long was because she knew it was everyone's way of coping with what had happened. But now that she was getting stronger each day and leaving the hospital, she would no longer tolerate being treated like a fragile piece of porcelain.

Her wounds had healed nicely yet fresh scars remained in their wake_. Add four more to the mounting list_, Jane thought to herself, realizing that she had a new body total as a result of the newest entrance and exit scars on her arm and leg. She recalled telling Maura that she hoped Maura would still love her even if she ended up being one big scar. Jane smiled at the thought, until she remembered that she had said that to Maura right before she was once again shot and subsequently abducted. "I really should be more careful with my words." Jane mumbled out loud to herself.

Jane's hospital room door swung open and Maura entered to find a very pensive looking Italian detective sitting in a chair.

"Ready to go?" Maura asked softly as she approached the woman who not only held her heart but was also the catalyst of much of the pain she felt.

"Yep, I am sooo ready to get out of here." Jane replied with wide eyes as she went to stand up. She immediately looked passed Maura to see a rather large nurse entering her room pushing a wheelchair…. an empty wheelchair…..meaning the wheelchair was apparently for her. _Dammit._

"I don't need a wheelchair." Jane stated very determinedly to the nurse. "I am perfectly fine to walk out of here on my own."

Angela Rizzoli walked in just in time to hear her daughter complaining about riding in a wheelchair. _Oh yeah, she's getting back to normal. _Angela was thankful that her daughter was recuperating but loathed seeing the return of her stubborn streak.

"Jane Rizzoli, you get in that wheelchair right now! There is no reason for…" Angela was cut off by Jane's outburst.

"There is a reason, Ma! How about the fact that I have two perfectly capable legs, attached to two perfectly capable feet, that are perfectly capable of walking out this door, to the elevator and into the car!" Jane stated with crossed arms and raised voice. She was tired of being treated like something that was broken. Ok fine, maybe she was broken, but not in the physical sense really, okay maybe a little broken physically but dammit she was more than able to walk out the damn hospital under her own power.

Maura leaned in slightly towards the nurse and said in a low voice, "She does have a very capable body….I mean legs…..her legs are capable…of uh, of walking out of here, I mean….." Maura blushed slightly and smiled awkwardly at the nurse, realizing how her words must have come across to the now bewildered looking nurse.

Angela responded to Jane's outburst with equal intensity. "Oh, perfectly capable legs, huh? Need I remind you that one of those perfectly capable legs still has a not so perfect gunshot wound in it! And that gunshot wound and the one in your perfectly capable arm almost cost me my daughter's life! And that since you've been in this hospital, I have prayed every day for this day! This day Janie! The day that you would recover and be able to go home!" The senior Rizzoli was a pro at piling on the guilt trip.

Jane was about to respond to her mother's guilt laden declaration when the nurse suddenly cleared her throat loudly, causing both Rizzolis to direct their attention to her.

"Detective Rizzoli, may I please just wheel you into the downstairs lobby. It really is hospital policy and it would make your mother feel better too." The nurse stated, speaking for the first time.

Jane looked at Maura and Maura shook her head no. The look on Jane's face said that she was more than ready to continue the argument but after a brief moment, she begrudgingly relented. She plopped down into the wheelchair with a large pout on her face. Maura couldn't help but to smile at how adolescent Jane could be sometimes and loved the pouty faces she made when she didn't get her way.

Everyone, except for Jane of course, had decided that Jane should continue her recovery at Maura's house. Not that Jane minded staying at Maura's place but she wasn't even asked what she wanted, wasn't even allowed any input on the matter, and that frustrated her to no end. Her Ma had suggested the whole thing saying that Jane didn't need to be alone and that she could look after Jane and cook for her during the day and Maura would be at home in the evenings to take over, blah blah blah. The arrangement was also convenient for Frankie, who worked the beats around Maura's house and he could stop by on duty to check on her. Not to mention Frost and Korsak would be able to swing by and mother hen her to death as well. Even Maura had quickly agreed with the proposal before checking with Jane on it first. It caused Jane to inwardly sigh as she looked out the passenger side window as Maura navigated the streets of Boston towards her home. Jane hadn't been to her apartment in awhile, thanks to her latest hospital visit. There were probably cobwebs, dust, and god knows what else fighting for control of her belongings. She longed to get back to her routine, longed for the things to get back to normal. _Normal? _ Jane's life was anything but normal, but she wanted things to get back to _her_ normal anyway….

Jane knew that when she was able to return to full duty, she'd have a hell of a mess facing her. The least of these would be the backlog of all of her cases. The greatest, of course, being the allegation that she had a hand in Doyle's escape from custody. Let's also not forget the interview she still had to give OPS/IAB; whatever you wanted to call it….Jane preferred to call it the bullshit squad, in regards to the robber that she put in the hospital. Not to mention, she still had a lot of questions surrounding what went down in the warehouse she and Lisa had been held captive in. When she asked for details from Maura or Korsak, they would put her off, always saying that they would discuss it later. Well, later was coming soon, very soon. She knew enough to know that Maura had shot and killed one of the thugs. That in itself was of great concern to Jane and possibly accounted for Maura's withdrawn nature of late. She knew that Doyle had been there and had taken care of the rest. She knew that Lisa had been rescued but why hadn't she been singing like a canary about Maura and Doyle? Jane also knew, from Korsak, that Lisa's brother, the mole in Doyle's organization, had been killed at some point in all the mess. She couldn't imagine Lisa just letting that slide and not making it her personal mission in life to punish everyone involved. _Lisa_….Jane felt a rush of remorse and guilt when she thought of Lisa and the fact that she had been raped by one of No Neck's thugs. She wished she could have done more to protect her from such an atrocity. She had not seen or heard from Lisa since the warehouse and wondered if she ever would again…..

As Maura pulled up the driveway of her house, Jane noticed Korsak's cruiser and Frankie's car in the driveway. _Hail, Hail, the gang's all here! _Jane couldn't help but think she truly was pretty lucky to have such wonderful people in her life. It caused a soft smile to spread across her face. Even though they got on her last nerve sometimes, she had to admit that they always had her best interest in mind.

Jane, Maura, and Angela exited the Prius and walked into Maura's place. As soon as Jane crossed the threshold of the door, everyone shouted WELCOME HOME JANE! She scanned the room and noticed Frost, Korsak, Frankie, and even her brother Tommy were all present to welcome her back home. A quick twinge of sadness came over her as she realized her father wasn't present. As far as she knew, her father hadn't even shown up the entire time she was in the hospital. More issues to deal with on another day, she decided, and quickly suppressed all thoughts of her father and just appreciated the friends and family who were present.

Frankie was the first one to close the distance and approach his eldest sibling. He gave her a giant sized hug and whispered in her ear, "Glad to see you outta that place sis and back where you belong." He pulled back just enough to look her in the eye before he continued. "Do me a favor, will ya? Please don't scare the crap outta me like that anymore, okay?" Frankie said this in all seriousness to his big sister. Almost losing his hero and best friend had shaken him to his very core. Because he had been seriously injured himself the last time Jane had been shot, he didn't experience the level of grief and emotional turmoil that he went through this time. He never, ever, wanted to feel that helpless, that grief stricken again.

Frost and Korsak were the next to come up to her and give a hug. "Glad to see you in something other than a hospital gown partner." Frost said with a smile.

"Yeah Jane, its real good to see you vertical again." Korsak added.

Jane chuckled, "Thanks guys, keep holding it down till I get back to full duty, which will be sooner than ya think." With that statement, she noticed out of her peripheral vision that Maura's expression changed dramatically. She felt more than watched Maura walk away and head towards the kitchen, her back left to everyone.

Finally Tommy was the last one to come over and stand in front of Jane. He wanted to give her a hug but he was nervous at how she would react. They were not exactly on speaking terms after the whole incident with Maura and leaking the information out that Doyle was her father. In spite of all the differences between them, in spite of all the animosity he sometimes had against her for being so noble and perfect, she was still his sister and he loved her very much. He would never let anyone know it but he took almost losing his big sister very hard. He recalled that the last time Jane was shot was the day he was first going to get out of prison. He ended up having to call their parents to say he wasn't getting out and would not be coming home. The next phone call he received later that same day sent him into a tailspin. There had been a siege at Boston PD Headquarters and Jane and Frankie had both been shot and were in critical condition. Where was he during all of it? Sitting in a prison cell feeling sorry for himself. This time though, he had been at the hospital most of the time. He had sat at Jane's bedside, holding her hand, talking to her, as she remained unconscious and continued to fight for her life. This time, he had been there to comfort their mother and hold her hand, telling her that Jane was strong and would pull through. There were times when he was alone that he allowed himself to become overwhelmed with guilt…wishing that he had been a better brother, a better friend to Jane…..wishing that he could have done something to make Jane proud of him instead of always screwing up and proving her right once again.

Jane could tell from the look in Tommy's eyes that he was apprehensive, so she took it upon herself and closed the gap between them and gave him a hug. Relief washed over him as his eyes began to water and he hugged her deeply. Angela also became misty eyed as she watched two of her children choose love and family over any differences the two of them had.

"It's good to have you back sis." Tommy whispered.

Jane held him at arm's length and looked him in the eyes. "No matter what, you are still my baby brother and I love you, okay? Okay?"

Tommy smiled softly and nodded his head in understanding. One day….someday…he was going to make her proud of him, he secretly promised himself.

After dinner, everyone retired to Maura's living room. Just as it did during dinner, the conversation remained light and airy, consisting only of small talk about the weather, the Red Sox, and Tommy's new pet walking jobs. Jane didn't need to be a detective to realize that everyone steered clear of talking about cases at work, her job, or _anything _cop related for that matter. She inwardly sighed but instead of calling everyone out on it, she decided to take a moment to herself. Under the pretense of wanting to take Jo Friday out to relieve her tiny bladder, Jane scooped up the little dog and walked outside onto Maura's deck. It was now full blown Fall and the night air was quite nippy. Jane zipped up her hoodie a little higher and wrapped her arms around her body to ward off the chill. She sat down on one of the deck benches as Jo meandered her way around the shrubbery doing what little dogs do. Jane tilted her head and stared up at the night sky. It was crystal clear out and every star twinkled with brilliant radiance against the midnight hue. Jane had missed being outdoors, missed seeing the night sky and missed breathing the fresh air. She inhaled deeply to take in the salty air of the city she loved so much and let the coldness of it settle into her chest before she exhaled once again.

When Jane went outside, Maura and Frankie exchanged a look. Maura stood with the intent of following Jane but was stopped by a soft nod and gentle hand on her shoulder, wordlessly communicating that he would go check on her.

Jane heard someone step out onto the deck. She glanced over her shoulder to see who it was, praying that it wasn't her mother. Frankie sat down beside her but didn't speak. He placed an arm around her back and gently rubbed her shoulder. Jane leaned into her brother's embrace. For a few moments, they both sat there in peaceful silence.

Frankie was the first to speak. "How ya holding up, sis?"

Jane sighed before responding, "Honestly Frankie, I'm really tired of everyone tip-toeing around me. I'm okay, ya know? I made it, I'm alive and almost fully recovered…..and now… I just want everyone to act normal again. Is that too much to want?"

"Noooo, it's not too much to _want_ but would you maybe be willing to cut us a little slack? I'm not gonna lie, the past three weeks have been rough sis…especially that first week. You do realize that technically you died, right? I mean, your heart stopped …..they couldn't resuscitate you. The doctor told Maura you were gone. Maura said that she saw your ghost or something…I still don't get that. Ma and I found Maura hysterical in the waiting room floor, crying out over and over that you were gone." Frankie shook his head from side to side as if he could erase the memory from his brain like an etch-a-sketch.

Jane visibly cringed at the thought of Maura being that upset. She hated that she was the cause of anyone's emotional pain, especially Maura. She of course had little memory of what happened to her "on the other side" other than the presence of a light that she ran away from instead of towards. She remembered having strong thoughts and feelings for Maura and desperately wanted to get back to her again. Jane inwardly decided to take her brother's advice. She would try her best to be understanding of how everyone was acting around her for a little while longer.

Silence fell between Jane and Frankie once again. Frankie began to nervously fidget and Jane noticed. She turned her head slightly so she could make eye contact with him. "What?" She asked with dark eyebrow raised.

"Janie, I have something to tell you…..something you need to know but you're not going to be happy about it." Frankie apprehensively admitted.

Jane turned further sideways in order to face her little brother. "Spill it." Jane softly demanded.

Frankie took a deep breath trying to find the courage to confess. "I'm the one who met with O'Malley. I gave him the route Janie…I gave him everything." Frankie's eyes were posted solidly on the deck boards below his feet. There was absolutely no way he could make eye contact with his sister.

After Jane's initial shock and surprise, she found her voice and it rattled off questions. "How? Why?" Jane's heart jumped up into her throat as she processed the information.

"After my shift that night, I came to your apartment to check on you because Ma was worried and had asked me fifty million questions about where you were. I noticed a business card stuck in your apartment door and knew it was O'Malley. I had to do it Janie…..I couldn't let anything happen to Maura…..if something did, it would kill you inside….. and I just couldn't let that happen." Frankie let his words linger for a moment before he continued. "I plan to take full responsibility for what I've done. I just wanted to wait until you were well enough so I could tell you before I turned myself in. I'm sorry Janie…I know I've disappointed ya but I would make the same decision again if I had it to do over."

Jane's heart and mind raced. No! She couldn't let her little brother go down for this! There had to be a way….there had to be some way to fix it. She just needed time to think…needed time to come up with a plan. She grabbed Frankie by his shoulders and looked deep into his eyes before she spoke. "Frankie, look at me! Listen, you are NOT going down for this, ya hear me! I won't let you! I'll figure out something, okay? Please…..just please don't do anything yet…don't say or do anything until you hear from me on it, okay? Ya have to trust me on this little brother….…..don't say a word to anyone! Do you understand? Okay?

Frankie nodded in agreement before once again apologizing to his mentor and hero. "I'm so sorry Janie." He reiterated just above a whisper.

Jane wrapped her arms around him and gave him a big hug. She whispered into his shoulder. "You don't need to apologize Frankie…..truth is, I was probably gonna do the same thing…you just beat me to the punch is all." She pulled back from the embrace and placed her palm on his cheek before continuing. "Thank you….for loving me that much and for being the best brother a girl could ever ask for…I love you." She said with a smile on her face and mist in her eyes. Frankie smiled softly at his sister in return.

The door leading to the deck opened once again. It was Maura. "Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt but everyone is leaving, do you want to say goodbye?" She softly asked the pair of siblings. A nod from both Jane and Frankie indicated that their conversation was concluded. Jane called for Jo who immediately scampered back up the deck and everyone returned inside.

After everyone left, Jane and Maura were finally alone. They stood in Maura's kitchen and gazed into each other's eyes. Maura spoke first. "How are you feeling?"

Jane smiled at her lover before responding, "Not bad actually…better than I have in... oh about three weeks." She said with a smirk. She closed the distance between them and placed her palm on Maura's cheek. "The question is…_how are you?_"

Maura tore her eyes from Jane's intense gaze and softly pulled away. She walked past Jane and went to the wine bottle to pour herself another glass of wine.

"Well…okay then….I guess that answers _that _question." Jane said as she was left standing awkwardly in the same spot. She turned around to once again face Maura but Maura's back was to her. "Would you like to talk?" When Jane didn't get a response from the honey haired doctor, she walked up behind her, gently grabbed her shoulders and turned her around so they would be facing each other once again. Jane saw tears in the beautiful woman's eyes. "Hey, talk to me Maura, please….what's wrong?" Jane waited patiently for a response.

"Nothing…everything…I don't know." Maura finally responded just above a whisper. The truth was… she was terrified. Fear had gripped and consumed her like never before. She was still stuck in the terrifying experience of Jane dying and couldn't seem to get past those emotions. She had never felt so lifeless, so empty, and so completely and utterly alone as she did in those moments when she believed Jane to be dead. Jane was her world and for a few debilitating moments, her world came crashing down with the power to rattle every fiber of her being. Maura's logical mind knew she was experiencing a phenomenon known as post traumatic stress disorder. But she couldn't help the swirl of strong emotions that plagued her. "I don't know if I can do this." She softly continued. "I just don't know."

"Do what?" Jane lifted Maura's chin with her index finger so their eyes would meet again. No response. She didn't want to push the emotionally distraught doctor but she had to know what was going on in her head. Jane's own fear began to rise. "Hey? Do what? You can't do what?"

Maura let a sob escape from her throat. "I don't know if I can do _US_ Jane."

There it was. The source of Jane's fear…..her worst fear actually. "Why? I don't understand? Why would you say that…be questioning that? I thought you were in love with me?" Jane started to feel pain but it wasn't of the physical kind.

"Oh God Jane, I am…..I am…very much so in fact!" Maura paused before continuing. She lowered her voice an octave. "That's the problem." Maura glanced up into Jane's eyes to search for understanding. All she got, however, was a look of sheer and utter confusion in response.

"Excuse me?" Jane knew that her lover was complex but this was taking it to a whole new level.

Maura sighed, wishing that Jane understood without her having to say the words. "Jane, I love you so very much. When I thought I lost you…." She choked up and had to pause to get the lump out of her throat. "I couldn't bear it….I wouldn't be able to function if something happened to you and you were no longer here." Jane patiently listened as Maura crossed her arms and started to pace slightly as she continued. "The feelings that I have for you are extremely intense, unlike anything that I've ever experienced with anyone else." She met Jane's eyes in silent answering to her unspoken question about Ian. "After all we've been through, I thought I could handle anything life ever threw our way…..and I can…..as long as I'm with you. I can face the challenges that lie ahead. I can face dealing with the fact that I killed another human being and the guilt I feel that you were hurt because of who my father is. I can process all of that and handle it one piece at a time. But what I can't handle…is ever losing you. Because of your job…..because of who you are and what you do…..that possibility is substantially greater. I am absolutely terrified of having to go through something like this again. I can't….and I won't. Jane, I know that being a police detective is your life…..but I want to grow old with you. I have dreams for our future….for a family perhaps. How is that suppose to happen if you aren't here?" Maura was losing control of her emotions as she continued. "Two years…..twice in less than two years, I have watched you struggle to live….struggle to survive injuries that would have ended the lives of most people. I can't do it anymore. My heart felt as if it was being ripped from my chest both times, especially this time… because we had finally moved past our friendship to become something amazing. I love you…..I need and want you so much…..but I don't want to live the rest of my life wondering when the next bullet will come and take you away from me."

Jane just stood there wide eyed for a moment after Maura finished. She sighed heavily as she ran her hand through her dark locks. Now she started to pace, hoping it would help her process Maura's apparent ultimatum. She couldn't believe it…being a cop was her life…..and so was Maura. She didn't want to have to choose between them. What would she do if she wasn't a cop anymore? Being one was all she ever wanted, all she ever knew….until she met Maura, she reminded herself. She knew that she would do anything for Maura… because she loved her just that much…so if there was no other way, then she _would _quit her job…..but she really hated to be put in that position…..to be forced….. to have to make that choice. "So, are you saying that you won't be with me unless I give up the job?" Jane wanted to be clear on what was being asked of her…..on what the ramifications were if she chose to continue as a police detective.

Maura, with tears streaming down her face, gazed intensely at Jane before responding. "I…..uh…." Her voice faltered. She cleared her throat and tried to find the strength and courage to make her next statement. "Yes….yes…..I guess…..maybe I am saying that. I'm sorry Jane, but that's how I feel…..


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20: **Love Me Tender (Norah Jones)**

Jane continued to stare intently at Maura. She couldn't believe the words coming out of the medical examiner's mouth. After all they had been through together…..after what it took to get _here…_and now what? _ This…..THIS…._is what would keep them apart?

Jane clasped her hands together as if in prayer and placed them against her mouth before she spoke. She fought to keep her frustration in check. "Maura, what you're asking of me…it's big..…..I mean really, really big." Jane's voice had a deliberate edge to it, emphasizing the importance of the discussion. "I mean, what am I suppose to do…..just up and quit? What the hell do I do then, huh….become a housewife?" Jane's sarcasm returned in full force as she paced back and forth in Maura's kitchen and waved her hands around for emphasis as she spoke. "Hi honey, how was your day at work helping BPD solve murders? …Oh… what did I do all day you ask? Well, let's see…. I cooked and cleaned….grocery shopping…ooh, guess what…..they had mac and cheese on a two for one sale…gave the dog a bath….ran into so and so down the street and we gossiped for a little while…did you know that the Smiths, who live at the corner house, are getting a divorce?" Jane stopped abruptly and turned around to look at the silent doctor. "I mean…_really_? Because that is sooooo me."

Maura sighed heavily at the detective's dramatics before she spoke. "Jane, I'm not suggesting that you become a…..a _housewife_. Although that is truly one of the hardest jobs there is. There is a common misperception that being a housewife is not a _real_ job. It's actually quite the contrary….. maintaining a household takes an incredible amount of organizational skill, energy and…" Maura halted her point as she noticed the daggers shooting out of Jane's eyes at her. She cleared her throat before redirecting her next comment. "There must be something else…..some other type of work that you would be interested in that wouldn't involve chasing criminals down every day."

"Noooo, there isn't. It's who I am…it's who I've always been…..and I thought it was who _you _fell in love with….." Jane retorted.

There was no point in discussing it any further. Jane's frustration and anger was starting to get the best of her. She abruptly walked out of the kitchen to go take a shower, leaving the bemused doctor to ponder alone.

When Jane finished her shower and was towel drying her dark curls, she was suddenly struck with another decision she was going to have to make. Did she go into Maura's room and climb in bed or was she expected to sleep in the guest room? They were only officially a couple for like a minute before she was abducted….and they had only made love once….and that was at Jane's apartment and in her bed…and _that_ was more than three weeks ago. Jane had to consider her next move carefully. If she made the wrong assumption, it could create more tension and issues for the two of them. _Things really shouldn't be this complicated_, she grumbled to herself as she ran her fingers through her still damp curls. When she opened the door and stepped out of the guest bathroom, she literally ran into Maura. Standing in the hallway facing one another, they both gazed intensely into each other's eyes. The air between them was thick with need, want, and desire. Despite the conversation they just had, a surge of passion ignited between them. It was as if they suddenly realized that they were alive….and together. Both had been so caught up in the minutia of the day that they had forgotten what mattered most of all. Jane was alive and they were in love. Jane closed the small distance between them and hungrily claimed Maura's lips with her own. Maura wrapped her arms around the taller woman's neck as a small moan escaped her mouth. She felt herself being pushed up against the wall as the length of Jane's body pressed against her. The couple half stumbled and half slid down the hallway to Maura's bedroom. Maura's dress fell swiftly to the floor. Jane's tank top followed shortly thereafter. Maura fell softly to the bed, clad only in her white lacey bra and thong. The vision was the most beautiful and arousing thing that Jane had ever seen. She slowed the assault to each other's body as she gently lowered herself on top of her golden haired lover. With excruciating slowness, she placed tender kisses on the doctor's forehead, nose, and chin before continuing towards her neck. Maura's erratic breathing and squirming body spurred Jane on to continue her path of kisses over the length of Maura's body. When Jane felt her aroused lover's body shake from desire, Jane took her. Maura's body convulsed from the overwhelming pleasure of her lover's touches as she rode the waves of release.

Jane returned to lie beside her lover and gently stroked Maura's hair with her fingertips. She patiently waited for the doctor to return to lucidity. When Maura's eyes finally opened, Jane couldn't help but smile as she gazed upon the woman who meant everything to her.

"Wow." Maura whispered, still trying to slow her erratic breathing. "You are very…um….talented Jane."

Jane softly laughed. "Well, I aim to please."

"Your aim is absolutely superior." Maura responded with a smile of her own.

After a moment, Maura rolled over to face Jane and softly put her hand on Jane's chest to lower her onto her back. Maura caressed Jane's face with the palm of her hand while staring deeply into Jane's brown orbs. Maura's eyes shifted to Jane's left shoulder and the newly scarred tissue. With her index finger, she gently traced around the wound. "Does it still hurt?"

"Not really, no. It's still a little tender and sensitive but other than that, it's not bad." Jane answered truthfully.

"What about your leg?" Maura ran her hand down to Jane's left thigh and covered the healing wound as she asked the question.

"That one is a little more iffy...larger muscle and all." Jane answered. Truth was that one still hurt and ached like a son of a bitch but she didn't want to worry her lover by saying so.

"Should we have taken it easy tonight? After all, you did just get out of the hospital today." Maura asked with concern.

A soft smirk appeared on Jane's face. "Well, it's a little late now isn't it?" Her voice was full of mischievousness. When she received a slightly mortified look from Maura, she couldn't help but softly laugh at the very literal doctor. "Relax doctor, I'm just kidding. I feel okay. I needed this…..to be close to you, to touch you…..I've missed you.

Maura closed her eyes and drank in Jane's words….words that traveled straight to her soul. A single tear escaped from her right eye and rolled down her cheek. Jane noticed it immediately and delicately wiped it away with the tip of her index finger. Jane wasn't sure how…. but she knew that the escaped tear symbolized Maura's fear of losing her.

"Hey, Maura….look at me." Jane touched Maura's chin and gently lifted it up. As Maura opened her eyes, another tear escaped. Jane stared deeply into Maura's misty hazel orbs before she continued. She wanted Maura to understand the weight of what she was about to say. "I'm here, okay? I'm here…..and I'm not going anywhere." She paused momentarily. "And I love you with everything that I am and everything that I will ever be." Jane huskily confessed.

Maura gazed in awe at the beautiful detective that rarely exposed her heart. Without another word spoken, she rolled on top of her olive skinned lover and proceeded to show through action just how much she loved the woman below her.

It had been a week since that night with Maura…..and the conversation that contained a no win ultimatum for Jane. As they laid in bed holding each other after making love on their first night back together, Jane had agreed to seriously consider the prospect of leaving her police career behind. She requested time to sort it all out in her head before she came to a final decision. Maura agreed to give her the time and space she needed to do so.

Jane sat outside the office of the Internal Affairs Bureau waiting to be interviewed by a member of their rat squad in regards to the complaint of police brutality against her. The interview had been postponed for weeks since she had been laid up in the hospital. She had called Cavanaugh and requested that IAB go ahead and conduct the interview rather than wait until she returned back to full duty…..if she was, in fact, planning to return. She explained to her commander that her health was good and her strength was nearly back to normal. Had it not been for Maura's ultimatum, Jane was pretty sure that she could've convinced Korsak and Cavanaugh to allow her to return to work. As it was, she needed the extra week to decide the fate of her career.

She was ushered back to an interview room by an administrative assistant. The room was typical of one of the "soft interview" rooms the Homicide Division had on their floor. Jane sat with her hands clasped on top of the table. She consciously willed herself not to rub on her scars as she attempted to remain calm. Inside her blood was boiling, however. She was ready to tell them her side of the story, ready to defend herself. _Why is it that any thug off the street can come in and make accusations against a cop and that thug is automatically believed over the word of the cop?_ She rhetorically asked herself. As far as IAB was concerned, cops with complaints against them were considered guilty until proven innocent…..and that pissed Jane off to no end.

The interview room door swung open and two IAB detectives in three piece suits sauntered in. Damn, she hated their arrogance. Suit one identified himself as Detective Finnegan, the other Detective Ross. Jane knew of Detective Finnegan and his reputation among the rank and file was not a good one. Word around the department was that Finnegan's dad and the Chief of Detectives grew up together, so Finnegan had a privileged career as soon as he stepped into the force. He was barely a "uni" for three years before he made detective. That was much less time than Jane herself and Jane had accomplished it quickly... by merit...not by political connections. Not long after making detective, Finnegan got the cush job in IAB. Jane had no respect for someone like Finnegan. In her eyes, he was barely a cop….much less a real detective. She could work circles around him any given day of the week. Her worst day as a detective would be a thousand percent better that Finnegan's best.

Detective Finnegan sat down across from Jane and placed a manila folder on the table in front of him. "Detective Rizzoli, before we get started there are some preliminary questions I need to ask. First, are you aware that this interview is being video and audio recorded?"

"Yes." Jane answered monotoned.

"Do you understand that this is an administrative hearing and not a criminal one?"

"I do." Jane responded.

"Are you familiar with your Garrity rights, which advise that any information discovered in this interview cannot be used against you in a criminal trial?" Detective Finnegan removed a piece of paper from his folder and slide it in front of Jane. It was the Garrity Warning in writing. "I need you to read and sign please detective." Detective Finnegan handed Jane a pen.

Jane was familiar with the Garrity rule, it was invoked anytime IAB wanted or needed to question an officer in regards to a complaint, especially when the complaint revolved around an allegation of police brutality. The gist of the rule was that as a government employee, an officer is compelled to answer questions as part of an internal investigation but that information cannot be used as evidence to bring about any criminal charges against the officer. If an officer refused Garrity and decided not to answer any questions, then the officer would likely be terminated for cause.

Jane signed the acknowledgment form and slid it back over to Finnegan.

"Ok, so let's get started…as you know, you are being investigated in regards to using excessive force against a Mr. Wally Walsh." Detective Finnegan glanced down at the file before returning his gaze back to Jane.

Jane did her best to stifle a laugh at the "alleged victim's name"…._Wally Walsh? Really? No wonder he's a thug, with a name like that, his parents obviously didn't like him. _She smirked internally.

"Please provide us a detailed explanation of your actions involving Mr. Walsh on the date in question, detective." Detective Finnegan continued.

Jane recounted how Frost had observed Walsh confront the victim with a knife and then snatch the purse from the victim. Frost had alerted her to the scene and when she had looked over, she saw that the perp was armed with a knife and was trying to wrestle the purse away from the victim. She had glanced back to the road and then back to the scene again and that's when she saw the perp running away. Before she was able to finish, she was rudely interrupted by Finnegan.

"So detective, you didn't actually witness Mr. Walsh snatch the purse away from the victim then, did you?"

_Here we go_…."Like I said, I saw the perp with a knife and he was pulling on the victim's purse. My partner, Detective Frost…..who is a trained observer… saw him snatch it away…..I was driving."

"So you just took the word of Detective Frost and went after the guy?"

Jane had difficulty believing the absurdity of Finnegan's question. "Well yes…_it is_ customary to trust your partner, who is also a police detective, with information such as that…not to mention that when I glanced over, I observed Mr. Walsh running away with a purse in his hand…..it didn't appear to be his color and certainly didn't go with his outfit, so as a _well trained detective, _I considered those clues that a crime had been committed, _Detective_ Finnegan. Jane had vocally placed emphasis on certain words in her answer hoping that they would convey the contempt she felt for his line of questioning. She couldn't help but notice that the other detective in the room, Detective Ross, who had remained quiet, did his best to stifle a laugh.

Finnegan broke eye contact with Jane and looked back down at his folder as he cleared his throat. "Um, yes…well, ok, please continue."

_What an idiot!_ Jane rolled her eyes before she began again. "Detective Frost gave chase on foot and I drove to the other end of the alley to head off the perp. When he changed directions into another alley, I got out and chased him on foot. We came to a dead end and that's when the guy turned around and lunged at me with a knife in his hand. He was able to slice a hole in my shirt before I had time to react. He came at me again and I defended myself."

"If your life was in danger, why didn't you just pull your gun and shoot him, detective? Why beat him to a pulp instead?"

Before Jane responded, she had a question of her own. "So, you're saying that it would have been better for me…..more justified….. if I would've killed the guy rather than to have physically subdued and disarmed him?" Finnegan didn't answer so she continued. "Hmmm, I'll keep that in mind for the next one…. but to answer your question, there wasn't time. I didn't have time to pull my weapon before he had lunged at me again."

"Mr. Walsh's injuries were pretty extensive as a result of you physically subduing him detective…broken nose, laceration to the forehead over his right eye, concussion." Finnegan flipped through the file folder and rolled off the perp's injuries from the attached medical record. He held up a picture of the perp with said injuries to his face, apparently taken at the hospital.

"Maybe so… but I bet it's better than being dead." Jane deadpanned.

Just then, there was a knock on the interview door and Detective Ross stepped over to go answer it. Two more guys in suits that Jane did not recognize stood in the doorway and one of them whispered something to Detective Ross. Detective Ross stepped aside and the two new suits entered the room. Jane surmised that they were federal agents…..they all look the same.

"Detective Rizzoli, I'm Agent Donavan and this is Agent Sullivan." He opened up his wallet and flashed an FBI badge her way. "We're with the FBI and we would like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind."

_What is this, get more bang for your buck day with Jane Rizzoli? Everybody gang up and take their pot shots at her…. all at the same time? _ Jane had a pretty good idea why the feds wanted to question her. They suspected she had been the leak that had sprung Doyle from custody. But the leak in Doyle's organization, Matthew Kennedy,… Lisa's brother…..was dead…..courtesy of one of Doyle's men no doubt. She just shrugged her shoulders in response to Agent Donavan's question. _Might as well get it over with_….

"As you are well aware, Detective Rizzoli, Patrick Doyle was able to escape from custody several weeks ago while being transported to his scheduled preliminary hearing at the courthouse. As a matter of fact, I believe it happened the same day you were shot and abducted in front of your apartment complex." He eyed Jane hard to gauge any reaction she had to his words.

She had none. She didn't feel the need to further confirm facts that were clearly apparent to everyone.

Agent Donavan pressed on. "We have a reliable informant that says a Boston homicide detective named Rizzoli leaked the route and security detail information to one of Doyle's lieutenants." Donavan looked expectantly at Jane, apparently waiting for a response.

"You mean had, right?" Jane clarified.

"Pardon?"

"Had a reliable informant. That informant is now dead….and I clearly couldn't have been responsible for _that_ because I was a little incapacitated at the time." Jane stated with arms crossed and eyebrow arched. "So Agent Donavan, what other evidence do you have to support your informant's claim?"

Donavan remained quiet for several moments. He hadn't realized that she was aware that the informant had been murdered. He could've asked her how she knew that information but felt it was futile…. he was certain she wouldn't give him a truthful answer. He calculated his next move and decided to respond to her question truthfully. "At the moment…..none."

"I see, well…good talk then…glad we had it." Jane stood up and walked towards the door. She turned back around and looked at the four men in the room staring back at her. "If we are all finished, I'll be going now." She pointed her thumb over her shoulder towards the interview room door indicating her intent to leave. There was no response from anyone in the room. Jane raised her eyebrows up into her forehead and slowly turned around, put her hand on the doorknob, and opened the door. "Bye." She felt like she had just been interviewed by a bunch of keystone cops. If this was the best they had to investigate her, she was absolutely golden.

"Detective Rizzoli?" Agent Donavan finally found his voice.

Jane stopped midway out the door and turned back toward the quirky fed with an expression on her face that said Yes?

"Just so you know, our informant's killer is also dead…..courtesy of Paddy Doyle. We found him with an ice pick in his chest and a note attached."

Why was he telling _her _this? "Good to know, thanks." Jane answered sarcastically before she walked out and shut the door.

The four men looked around at each other for a moment before Agent Sullivan finally spoke for the first time. "Fellas, we ain't got shit!"

Agent Ross echoed Sullivan's summation. "Yep, same here."

**I Won't Give Up (Jason Mraz)**

Jane walked into the bullpen. She wanted to say hi to Frost and Korsak before she went down to see Maura. It was the first time she had stepped foot in the office for quite some time. She breathed in deeply and took in the smells, sights and sounds of the homicide division. God, how she missed it! She was greeted by several other detectives, stopping to say hey and to ask how she was doing and if she was back. "Not yet guys, but soon." She replied to their most common question. She walked over to her desk and noticed that it was just how she had left it. It put a smile on her face. Damn, she was ready to get back to work. Her smile quickly faded when she suddenly remembered Maura's ultimatum.

"Jane, hey! What brings you here?" Frost approached and gave his partner a hearty hand shake and bro hug.

"Korsak jumped up from his desk to approach Jane as well. "Hey kiddo."

"I had the interview with IAB today. I wanted to get it out of the way." Jane knew that Frost had already been interviewed two weeks ago.

"How did it go?" Korsak asked.

"Pretty well, actually….Finnegan is an idiot."

"Tell me about it." Frost agreed with a roll of his eyes.

"Then two feds showed up and questioned me about Doyle's escape." Jane added.

She continued when she saw the expectant look on their faces. She lowered her voice to almost a whisper. "They got nothing. Did you know that the thug that killed Lisa's brother is now also dead?"

Korsak cleared his throat before he spoke up. "Actually Jane, I did." He noticed Jane's irritation develop in an instant.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She looked hard at Korsak.

"When I found out, you were still recovering so I wanted to wait until you were stronger. Then when you were, it didn't seem to matter as much, especially with the news from Angela that you weren't coming back." Korsak explained.

"What?" Jane's face fell in disbelief. She stared at Korsak.

"Yeah partner, Korsak and I were in the café earlier in the week and your mother said that you had decided to call it quits and didn't plan to return to the job. I have to tell you we were shocked…. but then again, after everything you'd been through, it was understandable. We were gonna talk to you about it but….." Frost was cut off by Jane's hand held up towards his face.

"Where did my mother get an idea like that?" She asked Korsak with the look of cold steel in her eyes.

"She…umm….she said, uh…..she heard it from Dr. Isles." Korsak struggled to respond. Jane had that look on her face, the look that secretly scared the hell out of him.

Jane abruptly turned around and headed towards the elevator to go down to the morgue.

"Oh oh." Korsak and Frost said in unison as they watched the fleeting figure of the fired up detective.

The elevator door barely had time to open before Jane stepped off and walked purposefully towards the lab. When she didn't find the medical examiner in there, she went toward her office.

"Maura?" Jane walked in the office and found her girlfriend sitting at her desk signing off on some paperwork. She came to an abrupt stop in front of her desk.

Maura looked up and smiled brightly at the woman she loved, though her smile faded when she noticed the look on Jane's face. "Jane, what's wrong?"

"Maura, did you tell ma that I was quitting my job?" Jane stood there with her arms crossed as she waited for a response.

Maura had a sick feeling in her stomach that this conversation was not going to go well. "I might have accidentally mentioned something to that effect to her, yes."

"Why? Why would you say something to her about that? That's a conversation that needed to stay between us. I haven't even made a final decision yet and you go and tell my mother like it's already a done deal?" Jane was furious. Maura had no right to make such a bold assumption. And she certainly didn't have the right to go and tell her mother. Telling her mother was like telling the entire Boston Police force.

"Jane, I'm sorry but I thought Angela would be….discreet and…" Maura was cut off by Jane's outburst.

"Discreet? There is absolutely nothing about my mother that is discreet! Telling my mother anything is as good as writing it in the sky with an airplane!" Jane threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. "Now all of homicide, including Korsak and Frost, think that I'm quitting the job!"

Maura stood up and walked around her desk to face Jane. "Darling, I don't mean to sound insensitive but that _is_ where it's headed, is it not?"

Jane stood there and stared at her lover. It seemed as though Maura had already made the decision for her. She was growing angrier by the second. It took her a moment to collect her thoughts and words so she wouldn't say something she would regret.

"No…..Maur-…you know what? Idon't know where it's headed, okay? Because I haven't made up my mind yet! And I really don't appreciate the fact that you've apparently made it for me. I mean…..come on Maura….this is not just a job for me...it's my identity…..and you apparently expect me to easily and lightly walk away from who I am and all I've ever known… as a….as a condition to be with you!" Maura was about to interject but Jane stopped her with her hand. She sighed heavily before continuing, her tone softer this time. "You know, I try to understand how you feel….I try to be sympathetic to the fear and pain you harbor….but frankly….there are no guarantees in life." She shrugged her shoulders. "You can't control what happens Maura…..none of us can. I could stop being a cop today, walk outside and get hit by a Mac truck and die….me not being a cop doesn't prevent anything bad from happening. When it's my time…..any of our time…..then it'll happen and no one can stop it. You can't suffocate me and try to put me in some sort of protective bubble. I won't be able to live like that….to me that's not living. I refuse to allow fear to rule my life….and if you choose to allow it to rule yours…..then it won't be the job that breaks us apart." Jane turned to walk out but abruptly stopped and turned back around. "I'm gonna take a couple of days to sort some things out….. …alone." With that, Jane turned and walked out the door, desperate to hold her composure together until she was by herself. She left Maura standing in place….dumbstruck.

**A/N: Okay, there will be one more chapter and then the epilogue….Oh… and Lisa will show back up for a bit. Thanks for reading!**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21: **Fearless (Colbie Caillat)**

**A/N 1**: **I apologize for the delay once again. I was out of pocket for longer than I anticipated. This is the final chapter of the story and is followed by the epilogue. I wish to offer the sincerest gratitude and appreciation to all of the readers, reviewers, and followers of this story. It has been quite the journey and I couldn't have done it without all of you. Thank you for your wonderful comments and words of encouragement throughout this project. The kindness and caring of strangers never ceases to amaze me. Reviews and comments for this chapter….or the story for that matter…would be much appreciated. **

**A/N 2: The inn in this chapter is a real place that I've stayed at during my trips to p-town and I absolutely love it. To anyone associated with that place who might be reading this….consider it free advertisement and don't sue me. It truly is a magnificent and magical location…**

The two and a half hour drive up to Provincetown on the tip of Cape Cod afforded Jane the opportunity for significant introspection. And what was the result of her penetrating examination into herself and her desires? She wanted both dammit! She wanted to be with Maura _and _still be a homicide detective for the BPD. Was that too much to ask? She sighed in frustration as she pulled into the Crowne Pointe Historic Inn and Spa. She had always wanted to stay at this inn after seeing it on line while engaged in a particularly sleepless night of web surfing. She had thought that her first time at the inn would have been with Maura. She had secretly been planning a getaway for them before all hell had broken loose in their lives again. As she stepped out of her car and looked up at the inn, she couldn't help the small smile that emerged on her face. _Maura would love this place, _she thought to herself. The inn was luxurious and classy, yet quaint and personable at the same time.

_The two story Victorian house was built at the turn of the 19__th__ Century for a prosperous sea captain. The carriage houses that sat behind the main house were built shortly afterwards and were used to house fisherman…._She heard Maura's "google mouth" swimming through her head as she took in a panoramic view of the establishment. A wave of sadness coursed through her and unshed tears began to water her eyes at the realization of why Maura wasn't there.

Jane ran a hand through her windswept tresses before she turned back towards the car and retrieved a small duffle bag from the back seat. Maura didn't know where she was…..no one knew, except for Frankie of course. Frankie always knew where she was and what she was up to….and she trusted him explicitly to keep her whereabouts to himself. Jane didn't need any interference from others. She required solitude to process her thoughts and would only get it if everyone left her alone…..including Maura. She had even left her phone at her apartment in a final attempt to completely disconnect from her life….an act that was no small feat for Jane who slept nightly with her Blackberry by her side. Being without instant handheld communication was extremely difficult, considering the electronic appendage had become a permanent part of her wardrobe over the years. She couldn't even remember a life before cell phones and computers now and wondered how she, or the world for that matter, survived without them all those years ago.

After checking in at the front desk, Jane strolled up to her "Pamper Me Twice" room. Yes it was pricey, much more than she would normally be willing or able to pay for a weekend getaway, but she decided that she was worth it; especially after all she'd been through. She entered the exquisitely adorned room to find a lush king sized bed _and_ a large fireplace encapsulated by white crown molding. She whistled lowly to herself as she visually scanned the room's décor and amenities. Now more than ever, she wished Maura was with her so she could have seen the surprised look on the medical examiner's face at Jane's ability to discover such a romantic and charming place. She unceremoniously dropped her bag at the end of the bed and picked up the informational guide to the inn. It didn't take her but a moment to decide her first order of business. A trip to the mineral bath at the Shui Spa followed up by a drink at the bistro bar in the main lobby.

**Come Home (OneRepublic)**

Maura had made a mistake…. one of epic proportions. She knew it the moment she passively watched Jane walk out of her office. _Why didn't she stop her? Why didn't she follow her? Why did she stand idly by and allow the greatest love she'd ever known to just…..leave? _All of the questions running through her intellectual brain could be answered with one word….fear. Fear rooted her feet to the floor. Fear gripped her heart and twisted it around like a strand of DNA. A voice came from the back of her mind and pushed its way forward, begging to be heard. _True… but fear keeps you safe, secure, and in control_. An opposing voice spoke….._does it now_? _Fear is a disease that seeps slowly into the fibers of your soul, killing it softly until it is no more. It is a coward's excuse not to live life to the fullest. _

Maura pushed aside her thoughts of the detective. She finished out her day with callous indifference, dutifully completing two more autopsies. She immersed herself in the science and enjoyed the logic and control it afforded her. When her mind attempted to stray away from the realm of scientific theory, she willed it to return once more to the comfort and security she had known for so long. Science equaled logic. Feelings and emotions were…..unstable, confusing…and created in her a vulnerability that she was not at all accustomed to.

Maura's ability to control her emotions ended with her work day. The tears were flowing softly down her cheeks as she pulled into the driveway of her home. Jane was not there. She had even driven past the detective's apartment in hopes that she would see the unmarked squad car parked out front. If she had found Jane's car there, she wouldn't have went up to her apartment….. she planned to honor Jane's request for time. But seeing Jane's car parked would have afforded Maura some level of comfort, knowing that she was still close by. When Maura discovered that Jane's car was gone, her stomach fluttered on its own accord in anticipation that Jane was instead at her place, waiting for her. Disappointment flooded her entire being upon discovering Jane's absence. _Where was she?_ _Maybe she was with Frankie or Frost and Korsak?_

The lights to the guest house were on so she knew Angela was at home….and without Jane. She felt certain that Jane wouldn't have told her mother where she was going because that of course meant Maura would know. After failing to receive a response to a text she'd sent Jane earlier, she decided to text Frost and Korsak to see if they were familiar with Jane's whereabouts. Instant replies from both detectives informed Maura that they didn't have a clue. Frankie was her last resource. Maura had a feeling that Frankie would know where Jane was…. but should she ask her lover's most trusted sibling to divulge such information? She picked up her phone to call Frankie but hesitated right before pressing the speed dial button. _That would be improper, _she admitted to herself as she laid her phone back down on her kitchen counter. She grabbed a glass from the pantry and poured herself a nice merlot. As she sipped the warm liquid, she absently looked around her living room. She hadn't even turned on the lights yet. Darkness surrounded her, save for the small light illuminating from the water dispenser to the refrigerator.

She had stayed at work late into the evening in hopes of avoiding the inevitable a little longer. She skipped dinner but found that she was not particularly hungry. She missed Jane. On any other night, she and Jane would be having dinner together, basking in each other's company. But now Jane was gone, for how long Maura wasn't sure. She hoped that it was truly only for a couple of days like Jane had said. _What if it was longer? Worse yet, what if she didn't return?_ Maura began to panic at the thought. She knew she was being unreasonable. Of course Jane would return, her life was here in Boston…..her family, her friends, her career. Maura stopped cold at the thought…._her career! _She had been asking…..no, _demanding_ that Jane end her career. No wonder Jane was so angry with her. Jane needed her career…she _needed _to be a homicide detective. _But what about my needs? _Maura questioned herself. Through all the chaos and questioning in her mind came one bit of crystal clarity…..she needed Jane…..desperately.

"All of that thinking makes things a lot more confusing." A voice boomed through the darkness of her living room.

Maura startled as panic quickly coursed through her. She nearly dropped her wine glass. She quickly hit a nearby light switch to illuminate the intruder in her home, who was now standing center stage in front of the fireplace. Upon recognizing the figure, Maura released a heavy sigh of relief before she spoke.

"Why must you break into my home and scare the life out of me?" Maura's voice was full on indignation.

"I needed to talk to you."

"Can't you use a phone like the rest of the world?" Maura fired back.

"No…..not safe….cops are always trying to trace those things." The figure simply stated with a small smirk.

Maura was not amused. "What do you want?"

The figure ignored her question as he walked closer to the medical examiner. He asked a question of his own. "So, you let the person you love most in this world just walk away from you, huh?" He gazed deeply into his daughter's eyes. "You do have some of my traits."

Maura was taken aback by how Doyle would know such a thing but she quickly hid her surprise and focused in on his last statement. "We are nothing alike Patrick."

Doyle shrugged his shoulders. "Suit yourself." Doyle turned away from his daughter and strolled casually around the living room, seemingly studying Maura's collection of wall paintings.

Maura wasn't in the mood to play Doyle's little cat and mouse games and her agitation quickly rose. "Look, it's been a long day and I'm very tired. Can you please just explain why you're here and then leave."

"I'm here because I don't want you to make the same mistake I did."

"What are you talking about?" Maura had an inkling she knew but she wanted Doyle to confirm it.

"Rizzoli….you love her, right? Then don't let her go." Doyle walked back towards his beautiful daughter.

"You have no idea what's going on with Jane and I and have no right to impose your opinion on the matter." Maura calmly stated as she crossed her arms.

"Maybe not, but I do know what it's like to lose the love of your life. It's something that I regret every single day of my life. I loved your mother very much…and I let fear take her away from me." Doyle explained with a compassion and sadness Maura didn't believe he was capable of possessing. "And although you will never understand, I do love you and I want you to be happy…Rizzoli makes you happy."

Maura couldn't help but soften at Doyle's words. She gazed at her biological father intently as she processed his message. Her next words came out just above a whisper, "I don't know where she is….."

Doyle smiled cockily at his daughter. "I might be able to help you with that." He stated as he turned to leave. He opened up the side door and turned back around one more time to address his daughter. "By the way….I never really liked that doctor from Africa…..never trusted him." And with that, Doyle was gone.

Maura stood in place a moment longer before a smile spread across her face. She shook her head in disbelief at the conversation she just had. However, the smile quickly faded when she realized that Doyle had not revealed where Jane was. She scanned the living room with her eyes. She noticed a piece of paper lying on the coffee table and quickly closed the distance to retrieve it. _Crowne Pointe, Provincetown…._

**Come On Get Higher (Matt Nathanson)**

Jane had a fitful night of sleep. She tossed, turned, and woke up drenched in sweat from the many nightmares that plagued her subconscious state. She groaned loudly as she looked at the clock on the night stand, which brightly illuminated 0900am. She had hoped that the time she'd spent relaxing in the spa, coupled with a few beers, would have rendered her sufficiently incoherent. Unfortunately, she had lain awake in bed, hands behind her head and eyes fixated on the ceiling above her, mind deep in thought, well into the wee hours of the morning.

After spending fifteen more frustrated minutes in bed, Jane decided to get up. She opened up the door to her room's veranda and stepped outside. The air was cool and brisk. The sky, covered with gray clouds, hinted at the impending rain…typical weather for Cape Cod this time of year. She breathed in and out deeply, inhaling the sea air fully before allowing it to withdraw from her lips. She decided to go for a slow jog on the beach in hopes that it would fuel her body and clear her mind. She hadn't been able to do anything very physically demanding since being shot and she was anxious to see how her leg would hold up. Hair in a ponytail, she donned her running shorts and shoes, tank top and hoodie, and strolled out of the inn. She made the short walk to the fishing pier and stretched out sufficiently before she eased into a mild steady jog. At first, her left thigh protested the rigid movement. Jane gritted her teeth and fought through the pain and discomfort until her thigh relented and began to cooperate with the rest of her body. She was about two miles into her jog before her body shouted _Enough!_ She slowed herself down to a walk and placed both hands on her sides, breathing heavily. _Damn she hated being weak and out of shape! _She walked a mile more before turning around to head back.

As she walked the three miles back towards the pier, she willed her mind to think about the reason she was there. _Could she really leave her job behind?_ _If she did, would she be able to be with Maura and not resent her for the choice she was forced to make? What would happen if she did decide to stay a cop? Would Maura accept her decision and continue to be with her or would Maura end it, expecting them to return to just friendship? Or worse, would Maura quit her job and leave because she couldn't bear to be around Jane anymore? _Jane quickly became frustrated and overwhelmed searching for the illusive answers to her questions. She briefly closed her eyes as she concentrated on the sound of the ocean waves crashing into the shore. She stopped and turned towards the sea, opening her eyes. She looked out into the vast expanse in front of her intently, as if she would find the answers she sought in the depths of the horizon. When none appeared to be forthcoming, she turned around and continued on her journey back to the inn.

When she was within sight of the pier, she noticed a solitary fisherman fishing alongside one of its pillars near the shore's edge. The beach had been virtually deserted during her three mile trek and this was the first person she had seen in awhile. No one else was remotely nearby. The figure was wearing a hooded rain jacket so Jane was unable to see their face…..a fact that unnerved her but she wasn't sure why. Many a fisherman fished this area, so Jane surprised herself when her cop senses suddenly went on high alert. She kept a respectable distance between her and the fisherman as she made her way back up onto the pier.

"Have a nice run Detective Rizzoli?" The fisherman turned towards Jane and lowered his hood as he spoke.

Jane immediately went into a defensive posture. She relaxed a little when she caught sight of the fisherman's face…...but just a little. "What are you doing here Doyle? And how did you find me?" After thinking about her second question, Jane held her hand up. "Never mind, just answer the first question." She knew Doyle would never explain how he did…..well, what he did.

Paddy Doyle intentionally ignored both her questions as he looked down at her thigh. "How's the leg?"

Jane looked around the deserted beach before meeting Doyle's eyes once again. "It's fine." She answered as she crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, impatiently waiting for him to answer her question. When no response seemed to be forth coming, she sighed in frustration. "Look Doyle, I appreciate what you did…helping Maura….finding us at the warehouse. You clearly must care for her, otherwise, you would've been long gone by now."

Doyle simply nodded in response.

Jane was suddenly struck by a thought. "One of your men murdered Lisa Kennedy's brother, at your or O'Malley's direction no doubt, and then you go and off him with an ice pick to his chest. Why?"

Doyle looked hard at Jane while he contemplated whether or not he would answer her question. "It was…...a requirement by the family…..eye for an eye and all." Doyle let his explanation linger. It was the only information he planned to give the detective as to how he cleaned up the mess his arrest had caused.

Jane stared intently at the mob boss. "You do realize that the time will come when our professional paths cross again….and when they do, I'll have no choice but to take you down."

A small smirk appeared on the mobster's face but his eyes glinted with a level of intensity that did not go unnoticed by Jane. "I know that you'll do what you have to do…..and… I hope you understand that I will do the same."

Jane nodded coldly in understanding.

"Goodbye Detective." Doyle turned away from Jane and the pier, placing the hood back on his head, and began to walk away.

He took a few steps before she realized that he never did answer her original question. "Doyle! Wait!" The mobster paused and turned back around. "You never did answer my question, why did you come here in the first place?"

A small smile coated the edges of his mouth as he answered. "I brought you a present." Doyle nodded his head at something behind Jane.

Jane turned and looked over her shoulder and saw Maura running down the beach towards her. In shock and surprise, she turned back to look at Doyle.

"Take care of my daughter." With that, he turned around and strolled casually away.

**A Thousand Years (Christina Perri)**

Jane looked on briefly before she spun back around towards Maura. She'd barely made it all the way around before her lithe girlfriend jumped exuberantly into her arms. Jane took a step back to brace herself as the jean clad medical examiner wrapped her legs around Jane's waist and her arms around the startled detective's neck. Jane went to speak but was quickly silenced by soft lips pressed against hers. The kiss didn't last long but it was full of passion and promise.

As Maura slowly pulled her lips away, she held her lover's intense gaze with an equal one of her own. "I'm so sorry Jane. I had no right to impose such an ultimatum. I love you….. for who and what you are…not for what my fear wants you to be." Maura lowered her head slightly so that her forehead was touching Jane's. "Whether we have a few days or a thousand years, I want to spend them all with you." Maura whispered with a soft breath that warmed Jane's cheeks. Small tears danced at the corner of her eyes. "Forgive me?" She unknowingly held her breath in anticipation of Jane's reply.

The detective's answer could be found in her own eyes as they visually consumed the misty hazel orbs before her. She hungrily claimed the lips of the gorgeous blonde wrapped around her in response.

After moments of time standing still, the couple unwittingly parted. Not a word was spoken between the women during the stroll back to the inn. They instead chose to let their eyes do the talking as passion filled glances danced between them while they walked with joined hands.

**Magic (Colbie Caillat)**

A rainy afternoon of love making transformed into an evening of lying naked in front of the fireplace, wrapped in a feather down comforter… and each other…for added warmth. A soft glow from the orange flames reverberated from the four corners of their room as the only light. Underneath them splayed a large white faux bearskin rug that helped cushion the stiffness of the solid pine floors. Maura was on her back, hair tousled along a feather pillow. The light from the fireplace reflected magically in her irises. Head propped up with her right elbow; Jane was looking down at the glowing doctor, softly tracing imaginary patterns with her fingertips across the medical examiner's upper chest and shoulders. With eyes closed, Maura's features held a lethargic smile.

Jane smiled down at the medical examiner. "What are you doing?"

"Languishing in a haze of fulfillment." Maura replied without opening her eyes.

Jane softly laughed at the doctor's reply. Silent moments ticked by. Jane looked up and pensively stared into the dying embers of the fire before returning her gaze once more to the woman lying beside her. "I thought I might have lost you." She softly whispered the careful confession.

That admission caused Maura to open her eyes and stare directly into the deep chocolate ones above her. She lifted up just enough to be face to face with the suddenly sullen detective and placed her palm against Jane's cheek. "Jane, I love you. After everything we've been through together, I can't possibly imagine being anywhere but next to you. Given who we are and what we do, I realize that our lives won't be the easiest….. but as long as I'm with you, it will always be worth it."

"You know, it could've been Ian here…..with you…..like this right now." Jane admitted with much trepidation in her husky voice.

Maura, understanding Jane's insecurities in regards to Ian, decided to make a similar confession. "Well, it could have been Lisa here with you like this…" Maura let the sentence trail off because she didn't want to imagine a life where Jane's heart belonged to someone else. Maura placed her palms on each side of her lover's olive skinned cheeks and looked deeply into Jane's eyes. "…. but I'm really….really… glad that it's _us_." Maura willed her words to travel through Jane's eyes and into the depths of her soul.

Jane stared affectionately into her lover's eyes before bridging the gap to softly claim Maura's lips with her own. The kiss was tender and sweet, full of promises and commitment for their future. After several moments of warm velvety kisses, the couple softly returned to their position on the floor and continued to caress each other until sleep finally swept them away into a restful euphoria.

**Epilogue: **

**Almost Lover (A Fine Frenzy)**

The hustle and bustle of the homicide division was at its usual noisy pace. Detectives moving about to and fro, phones ringing off the hook, case files stacked high on desks just waiting for the next lead….and Jane couldn't be happier. It was Friday….marking the end of her first full week back to work. Jane's week had been fairly routine and normal….well, normal for Jane anyway. One murder, two natural deaths, and a suspected suicide rounded out the grim highlights. She melded back into the usual melee with the same confidence and poise she had before without missing a beat.

She was sitting at her desk looking over the facts of her latest homicide when she felt a sudden change in the air. She glanced up to see Korsak and Frost looking at something or someone behind her. Korsak's eyes met Jane's and with a nod of his head told her to turn around. Jane turned around and saw Lisa approaching.

Jane stood up to greet her once upon a time romantic interest. "Lisa…hi…" Jane hadn't seen the ADA since their time at the warehouse. She looked Lisa over to assure herself that Lisa was okay and had healed, just as she had…well, from the outside anyway.

Lisa smiled kindly at the Italian detective. "Hey, got a second?"

"Ummm…sure." Jane replied as she motioned for Lisa to lead the way. Lisa led them into the same soft interview room they had used previously when Lisa had apologized to Jane for her repulsive behavior regarding Maura and Doyle's relationship.

Jane stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. She patiently waited for Lisa to speak her mind. Lisa was dressed casually in jeans and a sweater….not her usual sleek ADA suits. Her hair was down and fell loosely around her shoulders. Jane couldn't help but notice that she still found the blonde attorney to be beautiful and attractive.

"I came to say thank you…..and to also say goodbye. I haven't seen you since…well, since everything happened. I would've come to the hospital to visit but I just couldn't bring myself to face you…..or anyone else for that matter." Lisa looked down and nervously pushed a strand of hair behind her ear before turning her gaze once more towards Jane. "Thank you for saving my life. I'm so very sorry for what you had to go through." Lisa looked at Jane as if she was seeing her hanging from the warehouse rafters with a metal chain around her wrists once again.

Jane closed the distance to stand directly in front of the distraught attorney. She tentatively reached out to touch Lisa's cheek but Lisa backed away from the comforting gesture. With understanding, Jane returned her hand to her side and took a step back. After being raped, Lisa was not at the stage in her healing process where she could allow someone to touch her.

"How are _you_ doing Lisa?" Jane asked with genuine concern and caring.

Lisa looked away, folded her arms across her in an attempt to comfort herself, and slowly walked towards the window, absently looking down onto the bustling street below. After a moment, she finally answered the question. "As well as can be expected under the circumstances I guess." She paused in thought before continuing. "The most difficult part was losing my brother in all of this. I blame myself….for a lot of things."

Jane nodded her head in helpless, yet sympathetic understanding.

Lisa continued, "I resigned my position as an ADA…I'm going back to New York. I don't really have any plans beyond that. I need to get away from this city and its recent memories for awhile….but I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye to you." She met Jane's eyes as she walked away from the window and approached Jane, stopping directly in front of her. For a moment, she lost her nerve and looked down at her feet. She conjured up the confidence to say her next words as she once again met the detective's gaze. "Jane, you will always be special to me. I truly regret how things turned out with us. Perhaps in another life things would've been different….but we'll never know now…. will we?"

Jane softly shook her head no in response. Her face displayed a myriad of emotions as memories of the two of them flooded her mind. After a moment of silent understanding between the two of them, Jane finally spoke. "Be good to yourself Lisa."

A simple nod and soft smile from Lisa and then she was gone. Jane remained in the room for a few more seconds to collect her thoughts. After a moment, she took a deep breath, opened the door, and returned to her desk.

**Lucky (Jason Mraz and Colbie Calliat)**

_A couple of hours later….._

Jane's cell phone rang. She pulled it off her belt to glance at the caller ID. A smile spread across her face as she answered the phone. "Yes?"

"How's the sexist homicide detective in Boston?" Maura asked with a sultry tone she only used for Jane.

Jane decided to tease the medical examiner. "Hmmm….. just Boston huh... not the world….or even the whole country?"

"Jane, as you know, I am not familiar with all homicide detectives from around the world. Therefore, I couldn't say with absolute conclusiveness that you are in fact the sexiest."

Jane leaned against the edge of her desk and smiled as she listened to the medical examiner rattle on about scientific research, making assumptions without the proper amount of data, …..

"But since I know each and every homicide detective for the B.P.D., I can emphatically proclaim….beyond the shadow of any doubt…..that you are truly the sexiest gumshoe among them." Maura stated with a finality that said she had won her argument.

Jane laughed. "Okay, okay, Dr. Smarty-pants, did you need something or were you just calling to remind me how smart you are?"

"Actually, I was calling to see if you were going to get off work at a decent time tonight…..I have plans for us this evening." Maura sexily proclaimed.

"Well barring any last minute catastrophes, I think so." Jane had a momentary feeling of déjà vu. Somewhere in the back recesses of Jane's mind, she remembered a similar conversation with a different blonde in her recent past. Jane shook her head as if to clear it, willing her mind to clear out the clutter of the past and just focus on her present and future life with Maura. "What did you have in mind for the evening?" Jane lowered her already husky voice an octave as her tone became more seductive.

"Hmmm…..well now, I guess you will just have to get out of work on time and find out, won't you? Suffice it to say, it involves music, candlelight….and lots and lots of passion." Maura's sensuous smile practically jumped through the phone line to touch Jane.

"Really? Then let's leave now." Jane felt a rush of excitement and anticipation course through her. She was also starting to get a little aroused….which wasn't a good idea since she was standing in the middle of the homicide division.

Now it was Maura's turn to laugh. "Patience my love…all good things come to those who wait."

"True, I waited for you for a long time….." Jane said in all sincerity.

"And I you Jane…...my best friend, my soul mate…the love of my life."

Jane closed her eyes and smiled deeply within. How she had longed to hear those words pass through Maura's lips…..and have them refer to her and not someone else. They really had traveled full circle…..and had come through all of it stronger and deeply in love. Like Maura had said to her at the inn, life will never be easy but being with Maura, loving Maura and Maura loving her, made Jane feel as if she could conquer anything and everything. For all the peaks and valleys life had to offer….the pain, the joys, the good times and bad….as long as they were together, it would always be worth it in the end.


End file.
